by Paul Winkelmann
One of the latest polls I've heard has George W. Bush ranked
as the 3rd greatest president. Sheep nationwide bleated Bush's
name above every other president's with the exception of JFK
and Abraham Lincoln.
I guess the men who gave us, "Ask not what you can do for
your country," and "Four score and seven years ago...," were
just a little too much for the guy that gave us, "I suspect
that had my dad not been president, he'd be asking the same
questions: How'd your meeting go with so-and-so? How did you
feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State
of the Union Address - state of the budget address, whatever
you call it."
But think of all the other presidents who were deemed inferior
in the minds of wool producers everywhere.
FDR, the man who led the greatest generation out of a depression
and on to victory in WWII, and who said, "The only thing we
have to fear is fear itself," was trounced by the man who
led our country's economy to its greatest degeneration and
muttered, "Home is important. It's important to have a home."
Or how 'bout Truman? He once said, "Secrecy and a free, democratic
government don't mix." And, oh, by the way, saved war-devastated
Europe with the Marshall Plan. "Give em hell Harry" was just
an also-ran when competing with "There ought to be limits
to free speech," and a taxpayer-funded $200 million-plus tax
rebate to a company who hasn't paid taxes 4 out of the last
Even our founding father, George Washington, wasn't spared.
The country's first president's, "Government being, among
other purposes, instituted to protect the consciences of men
from oppression, it certainly is the duty of Rulers, not only
to abstain from it themselves, but according to their stations,
to prevent it in others," falls short when put up against
the country's favorite Supreme Court Appointee's "Unfairly
but truthfully, our party has been tagged as being against
things. Anti-immigrant, for example. And we're not a party
of anti-immigrants. Quite the opposite. We're a party that
It's a given that Bush's "They want the federal government
controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal
program," sets him apart from the likes of Dwight Ike Eisenhower
and his "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every
rocket fired, in a final sense, a theft from those who hunger
and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed,"
And who can argue that Bush's "One of the great things about
books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures," isn't
right up there with "I can not live without books," attributed
to the author of the Constitution, Thomas Jefferson? Surely
this statement alone from Bush should give him a few percentage
points with all those red-stated grazers.
What about that clown, John Adams? "Liberty can not be preserved
without general knowledge among people." Yeah, right! Try
this on for size Mr. Adams, "Behind closed doors, there is
no guarantee that the most basic of individual freedoms will
be preserved. And as we enter the 21st Century, the great
fear we have for our democracy is the enveloping culture of
government secrecy and the corresponding distrust of government
that follows." Whoops, that was Sen. Patrick Moynihan. Okay,
President Smarty-Pants Adams, let's see you beat this. "If
this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier
- so long as I'm the dictator." - George W. Bush, Dec. 19,
And from the actions speak louder than words department,
we have that sissy Calvin Coolidge and his "The business of
America is business," being resoundly spanked by Bush, well,
one of his flunkies really, when Treasury Secretary O'Neill
suggested that Enron's fall was "a triumph of capitalism."
Silent Cal talked a good game but when it comes to down to
consummating the marriage of Big Business and the presidency,
Bush wins, hands down.
I don't know how many more triumphs of capitalism our country
can take from the Greatest Resident, but rest assured that
when the sheep get their phone call from Mr. Gallup, many
will still bleat for Bush.