That Enron’s in Fashion, I’d Like to Make a Fashion Statement!
by Anthony G. Hendricks
the future, of course, is fraught with peril. Especially if
you go beyond predictions like: there’s a fifty percent chance
of showers today, clearing toward evening and a fifty percent
chance of no precipitation tomorrow. At that rate we’re all
qualified to do the weather on the nightly news. One thing
that’s surprised me is my ability to predict the future in
my book, Democracy Bushwhacked, Election 2000, Florida
Theater of the Absurd, which has me wondering if I’m a
Psychic Satirist. Am I lonely? Not anymore, because in regards
to Enron, I can join millions of others in the country --
many writing underground on the Internet -- and say; “We told
you so... Idiots,” not that we’d do anything like that mind
you. No not at all. But I think we should; Every one of us
should go out on April first, at 12:01 a.m. and shout at the
top of our lungs, “We told you so... Idiots!” There are enough
of us that they might even hear us in Washington D.C. where
the bulk of the idiots reside. In case they don’t hear us,
I made a suggestion in my book on page 85 that I think is
appropriate to reiterate. For any of the Right Wing Totalitarian
faithful reading this, "reiterate" means "repeat."
I’d like to make a fashion statement here, one to be applied
to all politicians in Washington D.C., spin capital of the
world. I believe all politicians should be attired like NASCAR
race cars and drivers. Bright suits should rule the day with
major corporate sponsors painted in prominent places, like
the forehead, for instance, instead of the hood. The lapel
and flank instead of the fenders. The back. The ass. Most
especially the ass. This way Americans would know exactly
who owns their congress person. As a service to his fellow
Americans, I believe George should display some leadership
in this area and start this fashion trend by wearing a special
neon lit ten gallon hat. Powered by solar cell and battery
pack, the neon light would flash the name of his major corporate
sponsor. Just visualize if you will, George lit up like Las
Vegas neon, flashing in red, white, and blue, ENRON.... ENRON....
ENRON. Yes, sir, yes, ma’am. Enron sponsored George in the
last election to the tune of something like over forty million
dollars. But don’t worry, Enron’s doing okay, they’ve got
friends in high places... and California by the short hairs.
You’ll notice a minor flaw in the above prediction. No not
the “forty million dollars,” exactly; At the moment no one
knows exactly how much money was siphoned off Enron stockholders,
and employees, indirectly through the offshore dummy corporations
and redirected in various ways into George’s corrupt selection.
Corruption takes a lot of funding, and there were thousands
hired to cheat in Florida and maybe all over the country.
Then there was the unrelenting Right Wing George Propaganda
Machine that needed a lot of funding. At this moment no one
knows the full depth of Enron’s corruption and where all the
money went. Not even that exaggeration may count as an exaggeration
in the end. No... where I erred in my prediction was in saying
“Enron’s doing okay.” Even with George the Affable running
interference for them and allowing Enron to price gouge western
energy consumers, and transferring millions of taxpayer dollars
directly to Enron through a scam called a tax rebate, Enron
couldn’t make it. Only in America can politicians rebate taxes
never paid. With the one hand we’re going to give you, the
taxpayer, a small rebate on your taxes, with the other hand
we’re going to take more of your money and give it to Enron
and others, and say it’s okay because it’s government debt.
Government debt is code for "the taxpayer owes and must
pay principal and interest". The credit card companies
run similar legal gambits all the time. They offer a small
amount of cash to you as direct payment so that you’ll take
their card and go into thousands of dollars of debt to them.
The credit card companies, though, can’t force you to go into
debt. You can take their money and card and do nothing else.
That’s the difference between George running our government
and credit card companies. Most credit card companies are,
by comparison, honest! The Bush, Inc. Administration can force
you to go into debt and pretend it doesn’t matter. Why? Because
they own the propaganda machine that always blames every financial
problem on the Democrats.
Let’s take a walk down memory lane. Back to the good ole
days when the debt was paid down, the economy was booming,
Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security looked safe in that
there imaginary lock box, yes let’s look back nostalgically
to yesteryear; Back when the White House was occupied by a
legally elected president who didn’t need to be at war to
maintain his presidency.
Remember to get your calendar and mark April 1, 2002 as
“We told You So, April Fools Idiots Day” and promise to participate
as a way of letting go of frustration and angst. Warn your
neighbors that you’re going to do it, in fact ask them to
join you unless they be right wing conservative gun nuts,
in which case maybe you should form a group to go to a safe
place where you can yell to your heart’s content. Or blast
the Internet with an “I Told You So Political Statement.”
Be creative! Make up cards, give appropriate gifts -- maybe
we should all get together to send George a gift, something
he’d appreciate, like the neon lit ten-gallon hat, to flash
off and on, off and on, in red, white, and blue.... Enron....
Enron.... Enron..... Enron.... just to let everyone know it’s
the Enron Administration and gosh dang it he’s humble and
honored to dance with them that brung him and he’s proud to
screw the taxpayer in the process! What a guy, that George
the Affable. So fun loving.
If you can’t wait until then, go ahead start hollering whenever
you feel like it. Consider it practice, leading up to April
1, 2002. And don’t forget to color some eggs and kiss the
Easter Bunny for good luck. Remember, though, it could be
deafening on April 1, after all 50.6 million Americans who
voted for Al Gore and got screwed out of having their vote
counted, sooner or later they’re all going to figure it out,
then the noise level in this country will go up significantly.
Until then expect a blizzard of war rhetoric, followed by
more severe bombings of foreign countries, and then the funneling
of taxpayer money to the Carlyle Group so that Bush Inc. can
grow richer on rebuilding the countries destroyed! Oh, and
don’t forget Halliburton Oil, Dick Pacemaker Cheney’s group.
They deserve a piece of the action. They’ve got a lot invested
in war, and they’re experts at gouging taxpayers, too. No
wonder George picked Dick as his running mate. They’re so
Anthony G. Hendricks is a country poet & satirist, author
of the book, Democracy Bushwhacked, Election 2000, Florida
Theater of the Absurd. Available at firstname.lastname@example.org