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Our
New Bill of Rights
February
8, 2002
by Dun MacCallum
 George
W. Bush has been doing a very fine job of bringing our country
to ruin by simply violating our most basic freedoms. How,
you say? How could the he do such evil things? He's our President,
he could never be evil or wrong, could he?
I'm going to be nice here and say this as gently as possible....WAKE
UP YOU MORONS!!!!!!!
Bush has violated nearly every one of our rights in the interests
of "National Security." IS our nation any more secure?
Are any more bad people out there planning to take us down
a peg or two? Sure. Have we caught them all? Hell no. Will
we catch them all? Hell no. Will we waste billions of dollars
in an effort to find them? Sure. Will Bush or any of his cronies
be affected negatively by all this wasteful spending? Not
a chance. Will they profit tremendously off of it? You better
believe it.
Not only will they make billons of dollars off of this "conflict,"
but they're going to shaft us out of our most basic freedoms
in the idiotic belief that we'll happily trade our liberty
for "security." I don't know about y'all, but I have
no intention of giving up my rights so Bush can profit.
Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment
of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or
abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right
of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government
for a redress of grievances.
Okay, with Bush kissing the Religious Right's collective
asses, he's doing his very best to get this off the books.
He's already said that Pro-Life judges will be the order of
the day, therefore putting a religious belief into the law
of the land. Prohibiting religion? You bet. Unless of course
it's Christianity, in which case it will be forced down our
throats in schools, whether we like it or not. When the police
chief of Penryn, PA refuse to provide safety for the citizens
of the town because the YMCA read "satanic" books to kids
(Harry Potter), and his refusal to do his job resulted in
no dismissal because he came down on the side of the Religious
Right, we're getting closer to the Official Religion of America
sooner than you think.
Freedom of the press? Not when it comes to telling us the
truth about ENRON. Not when it comes to criticizing our (so-called)
elected leaders. Not when it's being repressed in the name
of "national security." Peaceable assembly? If it's a
Pro-life rally with the intention of shooting doctors, sure,
you can do that, a rally to free Mumia? The police will be
there with billy clubs and firehoses. Horseshit.
Petition the government? How long will a lawsuit asking for
the ENRON gang to hand over their ill-gotten gains (stolen
with the assistance of George) back to the people they stole
it from last in a Republican appointed court? Not long, I
assure you. How long did the people's petition for the recount
last in a Florida court?
Amendment II
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security
of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear
Arms, shall not be infringed.
Bush will support this, as long as you buy your weapons from
his friends. If it's weapons for your own personal security,
well, those will have to be turned in soon, in the name of
"national security".
A well regulated militia means in this case "George's Army
ONLY." If you're a citizen who doesn't appreciate him
you're a godless commie, or a terrorist, and you'd better
not have any weapons, even if they're there to protect you
from his jack-booted goon squads (the CIA).
Amendment III
No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any
house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war,
but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
Of course if you've been kicked out of your home, office,
etc. in Salt Lake City in the name of "national security,"
you're probably going to be pissed about it. George and Co.
figure that most of them are Mormons anyways so Falwell and
Robertson are OK with it.
Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in their persons,
houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches
and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall
issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation,
and particularly describing the place to be searched, and
the persons or things to be seized.
Unless of course you happen to be of Middle Eastern ancestry,
or doing anything in the privacy of your own home, or making
a telephone call. Wiretaps, etc., are all back in force, our
e-mail is being watched, etc, all in... you guessed it, the
name of "national security." And of course if you're comitting
acts which go against our official religion (Bible Thumpers
R Us) in the privacy of your own bedroom, then you can be
hauled into court on charges of violating ancient superstitions.
If there is no proscribed religion, then why are victimless
acts that are only crimes in religion punishable by law?
Amendment V
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise
infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a
Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces,
or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or
public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same
offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall
be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against
himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without
due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for
public use, without just compensation.
Now, the assets frozen by the Bush regime, supposedly all
owned by Osama and his crew, where are they? Who owns them
now? Was evidence given that all of them were in fact Al-Queida
property? No. Of course the Fifth comes in real handy for
Kenneth Lay, Arthur Anderson, Dick Cheney and other fun folks
who will use it to get away with stealing billions. How much
you want to bet that Bush will abolish this, except in special
circumstances (ie, campaign contributors)?
Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy
the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury
of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been
committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained
by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the
accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him;
to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his
favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.
Once again, unless you're from the middle east and look vaguely
threatening. In which case we'll hold you captive for months
with no charges, no trials, and no rights whatsoever, all
in the name of "national security."
Amendment VII
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy
shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall
be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise
reexamined in any Court of the United States, than according
to the rules of the common law.
Unless of course you're Kenneth Starr and want to waste 40
million dollars to prove Clinton got a blowjob. Then you can
waste tons of time, money and resources to find out a man
did nothing that was illegal. No fact tried by jury, oh, like
Roe vs. Wade? The Supreme Court (supreme meaning seriously
high) established abortion as legal, yet, the BibleThumpers
keep trying to get this one back on the books, seems to be
a CLEAR violation of this, and with a Bush Supreme Court,
it will happen.
Amendment VIII
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines
imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
Unless you're a POW in Cuba, where we can keep you like dogs
in a kennel, in violation of the Geneva Convention. Seeing
as how George doesn't feel bound by anything he didn't sign
(Kyoto, ABM, etc) why should he care? The opposite here is
true as well, if you're highly placed, like say, his daughters
or niece, you can commit any crime you want and not pay ANY
price at all. Isn't being rich and well connected politically
fun?
Amendment IX
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights,
shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained
by the people.
Unless of course, we're talking about "national security",
then Bush really doesn't care about the rights of the people.
Unless of course you're Kenneth Lay, then you get full protection
Amendment X
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution,
nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States
respectively, or to the people.
Of course if you're a state George didn't carry, like California,
he'll write energy policy with a company like ENRON, to jack
up your rates to sky-high levels, all the while denying any
federal help to alleviate the situation. "They didn't vote
for me? Screw them."
So, seeing as how the Resident has pretty much wiped his
ass with this fine document, where do we go from here? He's
run our economy into the ground (unless you're a billionaire),
he's wiped out the Clinton surplus, created a huge deficit,
helped his pals bilk thousands of people out of their money,
spent trillions on "defense," promises to spend more (and
it lines his buddies pockets, no less), has already cut back
on education, broken treaties in an effort to get the cold
war going again, and has pretty much shown that the will of
the people means nothing. We're going to war! We're going
to take out those evil terrorists! We're going to crush Islamic
nations that harbor evil! We're going to pay back the people
who did us wrong in New York! We're going to take away your
rights, but it's all in the name of NATIONAL SECURITY. We're
making America a better place for YOU.
Now, let's rephrase that slightly, and change a few words
here and there: We're going to war! We're going to take out
those bad Poles! We're going to crush weak nations that harbor
Jews! We're going to pay back the people who did us wrong
at Versailles! We're going to take away your rights, but it's
all in the name of NATIONAL SECURITY. We're making Germany
a better place for YOU.
Kinda spooky isn't it?
If this keeps up much longer, and that buffoon is elected
in 2004 (not re-elected, he didn't win), I think I'll head
to Canada, that is, of course assuming he allows people of
free thought to leave by then. I'm beginning to feel like
Victor Lazlo in Casablanca.
Dun is a free thinking individual who resides in the NEW USA,
he was born in the former United States of America, back in
the good old days, when our Constitution still meant something.
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