Loses on Enron
by Anthony G. Hendricks
The acting President's mother-in-law lost over $8,000 on
Enron stock. Her son in law failed to tell her what was coming
down so that she could bail out like all the other rats. This
proves that George the Affable, current head of Bush Inc.,
has a sense of humor.
They'll be able to laugh around the Thanksgiving table for
years over this one. The table of course is made of solid
mahogany, 14 feet in length and is valued at well over $10,000.
To make it up to his Mother-In-Law, George is planning on
creating an important position for her by executive order.
As Compassionate Conservatives, George and Laura of Bush Inc.
want everybody who lost their life savings and retirement
on Enron Stock to know just how compassionate they are.
Laura's mother will be put in charge of the Sympathy Card
Department in the White House. She'll draw no salary and will
only have a small $1,500,000 budget and a staff of six to
conduct her affairs.
The card company that contributed the most to George's campaign
has already been awarded the contract for the cards. The design
is similar to the American Gothic, with George and Laura standing
in front of the Farm-Ranch near Waco, Texas.
Instead of holding a pitch fork as in the original American
Gothic, George will be proudly shown holding the dipstick
to his pick up truck.
Inside the message will say: "Mah, fellow Americans, in these
tough times we've all got to make sacrifices, but we want
you to know that we have the deepest sympathy for your loss
and wish you well in competing with illegal immigrants for
low paying jobs. Truly Yours, George and Laura Bush, Inc."
The first of the cards will be going out by the end of the
month. There's a minor debate being conducted as to whether
or not an American Flag Decal with George's likeness on it
should be included or not.
So if you are among those that went broke in the Enron Lotto,
be of good cheer, sympathy is on the way.
Anthony G. Hendricks is a country poet & satirist, author
of the book, Democracy Bushwhacked, Election 2000, Florida
Theater of the Absurd. Available at firstname.lastname@example.org