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Dubya's Boring Presidentiary
October 6, 2001
by Max Starsky

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Throughout the whole 2000 Presidential campaign, one thing that really struck me about George W Bush, besides his obvious stupidity, was that I never truly believed he really wanted the presidency. He never actually sought it all that much, instead being pushed into it by his family name, his political associates, the far-right and his number one henchman from Texas, Karl "I'm The Boss Around Here" Rove.

No, Bush gave me the impression that he was quite willing to go along for the ride and that he thought, like most of us in this country, that America would never elect a dimwit like himself. Watching Bush these past few days has only strengthened my theory.

George W. Bush is bored being the President.

There is absolutely no doubt that Bush will enjoy much more being the Ex-President. He will be able to use the title of "Ex-President Bush" to seek the office he has really coveted his entire life -- that of Baseball Commissioner. Let's face it, how can MLB say no to the Ex-President when he comes a knockin' at their door wanting to be Baseball Commissioner? You just know it's going to happen -- one day -- and hopefully for us all, that day will be much sooner than later!

On Tuesday Bush went to "officially" reopen the inappropriately named Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport.

Looking bedraggled and in need of a damn good nap, Bush was even more incoherent than he normally is, actually declaring that along with the airplanes, "ticket counters" could also resume flying from D.C.

However, later in the day, with Uncle Dick right beside him, Bush was trying to conduct a press conference -- and he looked even more dreadful than he did earlier.

His hair was a mess, his eyes drooped......he looked and sounded.....depressed.....and bored. He really sounded tired, worn out, fed up, depressed and bored out of his skin. You could see it in his eyes.....he would have much rather preferred to have been back on his ranch chopping Cedar, throwing the ball for Spot the Dog and talking to his cows than having to ramble on about things that don't interest him all that much.....like world events and the economy!

And once again I thought to myself, "This guy has had enough. He doesn't want to be President any more than I want to have a hot, romantic evening with Karen Hughes."

Now of course there's no doubt that Bush isn't doing much of the work that a President needs to do anyway. Instead he "delegates" to Dick and Karen and Karl and Ari and whoever else happens to be standing near him at the appropriate moment.....or more to the truth, they plain don't allow him to do anything that's too stressful or that requires some "thought". But I think he's fed up with having to pretend he's calling the shots, all the same.

He's tired of having to rehearse Karen and Karl's speeches over and over again until he can say all of the long words without his tongue stumbling all over them.. Sick of not being able to go to bed until Uncle Dick, Karen and Karl brief him on the next days events at 10:00 o'clock each evening. Totally had enough of having to think of words longer than five letters when giving impromptu, off the cuff press conferences. And absolutely ticked off at being made to look like the fool he really is by the young upstart with the funny accent from "across the pond" named Tony Blair, who shows us all, on a daily basis, what a "real leader" should sound like, whilst demonstrating the huge contrast in leadership skills and intelligence between himself and George Dubya.

No, I've no doubt that George W Bush is totally bored with his presidentiary. He is certainly longing for the day, like we all are, when he can finally leave the White House and get MLB to make him Commissioner of Baseball.

Because as the "Ex-President", how are they going to say no?

 
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