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Sun
Spots
August 13, 2001
by
Kurt Kurowski
During George W. Bush's pre-vacation physical, doctors discovered
and removed from his face three lesions called Actinic Keratoses
which are considered the beginning of skin cancer. Bush nevertheless
was given a clean bill of health by doctors, Ari and the gang,
and of course the ever puppy-like press that wants nothing
more than for the White House to tickle its yellow little
belly and refrain from saying what a big, bad liberal dog
it is. As Jake Tapper likes to say about Al Gore, " ugh."
These of course are most of the same people who insist preternatural
old man Cheney has a rosy future in one of the most stressful
jobs in the world (president) despite his numerous heart attacks
and trips to the hospital. And since I'm on the subject, why
didn't intelligent voters have the presence of mind to trash
their vote for those two Republican pirates when they refused
to release health records during the campaign? Can you folks
in those red states say red flag?
We are told that Bush is now being careful to apply sunscreen
when stepping outside for say, a challenging discussion with
his cattle, or out-doorsy Reagan-esque photo-ops. While I'm
glad that Mr. Bush will be conscientious when it comes to
saving his skin, I'm prompted by this situation to recall
that a decided majority of scientists worldwide now agree
that the sunscreen already provided by God and nature, namely
the ozone layer, is being alarmingly stripped away by our
own actions --and also by our inaction as is the case with
the Kyoto Treaty on Global Warming. It was a grave error for
the Bush administration to make no good-faith effort at negotiation,
to arrogantly walk away leaving the rest of the world voting
178 in favor of the treaty to America's shameful one vote
against. And my goodness, but don't we look bad. I'm not being
facetious when I say I would much rather Bush were caught
frolicking nude in the Rose Garden at midnight with a busload
of high school Senior cheerleaders. Peggy Noonan, who regularly
horndogs Bushy in the pages of WSJ would be thrashing about
in paroxysms of absolute jealousy!
I do, however have a suggestion for Mr. Bush that could save
him the daily cost and effort of applying sunscreen. He can
literally do what he, his administration and those who bankrolled
his ascendency to the throne have done when it comes to the
life and death issue of the environment--he can keep his head
in the sand.
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