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Sun Spots
August 13, 2001
by Kurt Kurowski

During George W. Bush's pre-vacation physical, doctors discovered and removed from his face three lesions called Actinic Keratoses which are considered the beginning of skin cancer. Bush nevertheless was given a clean bill of health by doctors, Ari and the gang, and of course the ever puppy-like press that wants nothing more than for the White House to tickle its yellow little belly and refrain from saying what a big, bad liberal dog it is. As Jake Tapper likes to say about Al Gore, " ugh." These of course are most of the same people who insist preternatural old man Cheney has a rosy future in one of the most stressful jobs in the world (president) despite his numerous heart attacks and trips to the hospital. And since I'm on the subject, why didn't intelligent voters have the presence of mind to trash their vote for those two Republican pirates when they refused to release health records during the campaign? Can you folks in those red states say red flag?

We are told that Bush is now being careful to apply sunscreen when stepping outside for say, a challenging discussion with his cattle, or out-doorsy Reagan-esque photo-ops. While I'm glad that Mr. Bush will be conscientious when it comes to saving his skin, I'm prompted by this situation to recall that a decided majority of scientists worldwide now agree that the sunscreen already provided by God and nature, namely the ozone layer, is being alarmingly stripped away by our own actions --and also by our inaction as is the case with the Kyoto Treaty on Global Warming. It was a grave error for the Bush administration to make no good-faith effort at negotiation, to arrogantly walk away leaving the rest of the world voting 178 in favor of the treaty to America's shameful one vote against. And my goodness, but don't we look bad. I'm not being facetious when I say I would much rather Bush were caught frolicking nude in the Rose Garden at midnight with a busload of high school Senior cheerleaders. Peggy Noonan, who regularly horndogs Bushy in the pages of WSJ would be thrashing about in paroxysms of absolute jealousy!

I do, however have a suggestion for Mr. Bush that could save him the daily cost and effort of applying sunscreen. He can literally do what he, his administration and those who bankrolled his ascendency to the throne have done when it comes to the life and death issue of the environment--he can keep his head in the sand.

 
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