Don't Like It?
Don't Pay For It!
In the wake of a new exhibit at the Brooklyn Art Museum,
conservatives have decried the use of public funds for what
they consider inappropriate material. Their argument is simple:
they find this art objectionable and hence, they don't believe
that their taxes should have to support such offensive material.
This is a great idea! But I figured why should it stop with
art? There are plenty of things the government spends taxpayer
money on that are objectionable, offensive, and inappropriate.
So I have compiled a list of things the government subsidizes
which I disagree with. I demand they cease funding immediately
on the following:
1. Public Schools Which Display the Ten Commandments
These schools are in open defiance of the Constitution and
while funding these institutions, the United States government
is blatantly supporting criminal activity. This also goes
for any public schools that teach Creationism.
2. George W. Bush's Salary
I didn't vote for him. Neither did a majority of Americans.
Since he is not the legitimate President, he should not be
receiving the President's salary.
3. Loans for Students Attending Colleges that Indoctrinate
their Students with Conservative Ideas
I find a lot of what is taught at some of these fundamentalist
Christian colleges to be horribly offensive and intolerant.
As such, I don't want my tax dollars paying for students to
learn this material.
4. Law Enforcement
It seems like The Man is only out there to give me a hard
time. When was the last time you've seen a cop who wasn't
pointing a radar gun at you?
5. War on Drugs
The US has waged this losing battle for years and years. Personally,
I'd love to see Vietnamesque anti-war rallies in the streets,
but now that conservatives say we can remove tax dollars from
any program we choose, I guess we can just simply stop paying
for this silly war.
6. Department of Defense
They openly discriminate against homosexuals and crash submarines
into fishing boats. If my tax dollars continue to be used
for such activities, it could be construed that I approve
of such deplorable behavior.
I haven't seen anything good on PBS for a while. Let's nix
it. What's that you say? The conservatives already tried that
and it didn't work? Okay, I guess we'll keep it then.
Well, I guess this list is a good start but certainly not
exhaustive. I'd like to thank those conservatives out there
who suggested this wonderful form of self-government. I think
they've stumbled onto a system of reform that will revolutionize
America and make it a much better place. I invite Americans
everywhere to submit their own lists to their Congressmen
and hopefully we'll soon be able to sleep peacefully knowing
our tax dollars are safe and well spent.