To The Chump
"They misunderestimated me."
Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000
They surely did, George, and now we're stuck with you. Was
it Al Gore's lack of charisma, the Supreme Court's lack of
subtletly, or just the plain fact that people can't help but
like the village idiot (in a sad sort of way)? But
that's not really the point any more. The point is - what
are you going to do now? Let's take a look at some of the
Bush campaign promises...
BUSH ON EDUCATION
"Rarely is the question asked: Is
our children learning?" —
Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000
Here's what they're learning so far - that if you drink and
drive, one day you might get to be president. Or that affirmative
action is a bad idea, because it's unfair to disadvantaged
rich white people. But anyway. One of Bush's campaign promises
is $5 billion more for literacy over five years, which is
fine, but surely there's not going to be much left after he's
done spending it on himself...
Under Bush, Texas schools had some of the nation's highest
dropout rates, and the system of accountability that Bush
extolled caused tens of thousands of students (mostly minorities)
to quit school each year. This loss, in turn, boosted test
scores - giving the illusion of an education miracle.
"The Texas miracle in education is a myth," said Walter
Haney, a Boston College researcher who studies test statistics.
(Washington Post, April 21, 2000)
BUSH ON ABORTION
"I think it's important for those
of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing
our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock
is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike. ... I believe
we ought to say there is a different alternative than the
culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society.
... And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't
Meet the Press, Nov. 21, 1999
Bush has promised that there will be no move toward a constitutional
abortion ban. And yet he has previously stated:
"I will do everything in my power to restrict abortions,"
(Dallas Morning News, October 22, 1994).
"Roe v. Wade was a reach... It overstepped the Constitutional
bounds, as far as I'm concerned," (New York Times, January
And what about...
When asked whether he would fight for changes in the Republican
Party Platform’s abortion plank, Bush said, "The [Republican
Party] platform is what I stand on, and the platform says
there will be a pro-life constitutional amendment. And we
need to be a pro-life party." (The Early Show 2/18/00)
Well you can make your own minds up about where you think
GW stands on abortion. But it is interesting that his Attorney
General will be a man who is so vehemently anti-choice that
he even wants to ban the contraceptive pill. Will John Ashcroft
do his utmost to prevent so-called "pro-lifers"
from bombing abortion clinics and targeting clinic workers
BUSH ON DEFENSE
"When I was
coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly
who they were... It was us vs. them, and it was clear who
them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but
we know they're there." —
Iowa Western Community College, Jan 21, 2000
Which is obviously why we need a missile defense system,
another of Bush's campaign promises. Never mind about pissing
off the Russkies - hell, George's dad won the Cold War didn't
he? And what about the objections from our European allies?
George's advice - go eat a Big Mac already. By the way, if
you're wondering how much this is all going to cost, the GOP
is looking at upwards of $120 billion.
Bush has also pledged to reverse eight years of "erosion"
in military readiness, but so far, he has pledged to seek
a defense budget increase of only $4 billion to $5 billion
a year, far short of what Pentagon officials say they would
He has expressed support for the controversial "don’t ask,
don’t tell" policy on gays in the military, although the official
Republican Party platform bluntly states that homosexuality
is incompatible with military service.
BUSH ON ENVIRONMENT/ENERGY
"It is clear our nation is reliant
upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from
Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000
Indeed they do, George, indeed they do. Which is probably
why you promised during your campaign to increase domestic
oil and gas production and exploration in the protected Arctic
National Wildlife Refuge in Alaska. And your opposition to
the ratification of the Kyoto agreement on global warming
is going to do a pretty good job of making you look like you're
leading a country of arrogant assholes.
A quick look at Bush's record on the environment: Texas ranks
first on the EPA's toxic release inventory, and Houston surpassed
Los Angeles as the city with the country's dirtiest air.
Bush's pick for Interior Secretary, Gale A. Norton, says
that people should have the "right to pollute".
Hey, it's a free country...
BUSH ON TAXES
"A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out
of an economic illness." —
The Edge With Paula Zahn, Sept. 18, 2000
Just like his daddy, Bush promised no increase in personal
or corporate tax rates. We'll be keeping a close eye on that
one. He also wants to eliminate the inheritance tax, based
upon the conservative-spread lie that this is income which
is taxed twice (again with those poor, disadvantaged rich
Also while Bush promised relief for the working poor, the
fact is his proposed income tax cut of $1.3 trillion will
give no relief whatsoever to the millions of working families
who don't earn enough to pay income taxes, but who do pay
payroll taxes for Social Security and Medicare. His plan offers
no help for around twenty million working families, the bottom
BUSH ON GUN CONTROL
"I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles
can have a gun."
Bush promised to raise the age for handgun possession to
21, background checks at gun shows if they are instant, and
would sign a bill requiring child-safety locks to be sold
However, here's what Attorney General-designate John Ashcroft
has to say about the 1994 ban on assault weapons: "I believe
it wrongheaded... It has severely restricted the rights of
law-abiding citizens to participate in many activities involving
John Ashcroft has received money from the NRA and other pro-gun
groups, and has worked in support of their agenda.
In 1999, Missouri voters rejected an Ashcroft-supported,
NRA-sponsored ballot initiative that would have allowed almost
anyone (including convicted child molesters and stalkers)
to carry concealed guns in public in Missouri. Ashcroft even
recorded radio ads endorsing the proposal.
There's much, much more here.
BUSH ON HEALTH CARE
"I don't think we need to be subliminable about the differences
between our views on prescription drugs." —
Orlando, Fla., Sept. 12, 2000
Bush promised a tax credit of up to $2,000 per family to
help low-income working Americans buy health insurance. Problem
is that not only has anyone yet managed to create a tax-credit
plan that works (a similar 1993 plan was repealed by congress)
- but a typical midrange policy that pays for doctors' visits,
prescription drugs, and outpatient care can cost between $4,000
and $6,000 in annual premiums.
BUSH ON SOCIAL SECURITY
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security
like it's some kind of federal program." —
St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000
Bush's plan sets aside $2.4 trillion for Social Security.
Wait a second... so that's a $1.3 trillion dollar tax cut,
and $2.4 trillion for Social Security. Wow, that's a lot of
trillions. Still, as the man himself so adroitly points out:
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
(Reuters, May 5, 2000)
For a full analysis of the shit which is about to hit the
fan, go here.
See the complete
list of Bushisms at Slate.com
See actual video of drunken Dubya at The