Suddenly single..... [View all]

[Uben]

....kinda sounds like a movie title doesn't it? Maybe it is, I don't know.

I started this thread to talk about life after a spouse passes. Not so much about the grieving process, but all the other things we are faced with when a spouse dies....and there's plenty to go around.

Allow yourself time to get things done. If an item is hard to do, or a decision is difficult to make, then wait. You will know when the time is right.

Emotional Concerns

• Be good to yourself.


• Get out of the house now and then.


• Cry.


• Find and do things that bring joy and laughter to your life.


• Start a personal journal.


• Join a support group.


• If you or your children need professional help, get it.

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Practical Concerns


• Avoid hasty decisions...wait a year before selling the house, moving, or making any major purchases.


• Get a post office box. (It'll get you out of the house)


• Don't become romantically involved with anyone for at least a year. You need this year for introspection and personal growth.


• Stay in charge of your own life. Don't let the kids take over.


• If your spouse has died, answer the mail and condolence letters.

• Ask for specific help from family and friends when you need it.
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Financial and Legal Concerns


• Change bank accounts.


• Notify Social Security, business associates, employees, organizations, banks, auto registration, credit cards, bond and stock titles, and real estate titles of your change in marital status.


• Review auto, home and personal insurance needs.


• Don't pay any bills you are unsure of until you verify their authenticity.


• Hold off on paying medical and legal bills until they are all in.


• Ask the funeral home for 6-8 copies of the death certificate.

• Keep Social Security, bank account, and insurance numbers handy.


• Set up a file for copies of everything that has to do with the estate , including notes from telephone conversations.


• When you are coping with death, you will have to deal with the personal belongings of your spouse. Don't run away from emptying drawers and closets.
Don't let someone else do this for you. It is a necessary part of the grieving process. It may be helpful to have someone with you who is understanding and can share your memories and stories.



• File insurance claims. Check on mortgage, credit, or work related insurance policies
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One of my biggest dreads was dealing with the mountain of medical bills that were associated with Carol's cancer and death. The stack continues to grow, but I am waiting until they all get in before paying anymore. My insurance deductible is has already been met but I still have to pay 40% of the rest until I hit a total out of pocket of $15K. I have the money to pay, but I do not want to pay any more than what I am liable for, so....I wait.

Feel free to add anything that can help us through these difficult times. We need all the help we can get!