Please universe - help me have a better relationship with my coworker...

[Tsiyu]

7. Sometimes we think we have to work ourselves up

into anger to "justify" speaking up for ourselves.

I still do that. It's almost as if we can't speak up for ourselves without getting into that uncomfortable place, as if the anger feeds our courage to say something.

All of the past comes rushing into our heads, and we lash out at all of it?

I've had to learn to defend myself without the rage, and it's a struggle. So I practice how I will say something first. It doesn't always keep me from getting too emotional or showing my anger, but the "script" helps me put into words what I feel I need to say.

Next time this person gets derisive, maybe you could try to stop her by calmly asking, "Why do you do that?" "Do what?" "Feel you have to talk to me that way. It's not productive and I think you're better than that."

This person, going on gut here, probably has a lot of unmet needs and issues in her own life. She probably gets pleasure out of your pain, or she may even be oblivious to her own demeanor.

Asking her "why?" without emotion or anger - as if YOU are the one in control ( and you are ) may make her think about her actions and how she is coming across to others. Or Not lol

Just a thought, but you know the situation better than any of us.

Sending you wishes for peace and strength today