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Reply #67


Response to RegieRocker (Reply #65)

Fri Feb 17, 2012, 02:36 PM

67. One of my communication teachers was teaching about projecting motives this week.

The studies were based off married couples and co-workers. They said when we are in conflict with someone, we will very often attribute negative motives to our opponent, and positive motives to ourselves. Often times, the actual issues being argued about are different for each person in the conflict, because each person is focusing on something different, so each person thinks their opponent is evading the actual issue, or not not listening.

When I read Rug's OP, I thought his motive was to belittle the plight of atheists in the US. But if these studies are correct, I am most likely wrong. I made my reply, and most people take offense at my reply will attribute a false motive to me.

Even if you are "certain" of my motives in this thread, think about this "selective attention" the next time you are in a lover's spat. Are you both agreeing on the spat is actually about? Probably not according to these studies.

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