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Mon Feb 20, 2012, 01:44 PM

Oldie but goodie: Smack You with My Umbrella (parody of Rihanna's "Umbrella") [View all]

Remember when Chris Brown was caught abusing Rihanna to the point of biting her? Three years ago, I wrote a parody version of "Umbrella", a revenge fantasy.

Here it is:

"Smack You With My Umbrella" (Rihanna vs. Chris Brown parody, sung to the tune of "Umbrella")

(Rihanna)
You beat me up
You must think you are a pup
Dad mightíve roughed up mom
You think Iím a punching bag
You bit me in the dark
Pit bull chase moving cars
Know why you attacked me, brat
So you can beat me like a kitty cat
Because

(Chorus)
I donít think weíll shine together
Iíll send you right to the shelter
Sink your teeth in my again
Youíll get treated like manís best friend
You will need a leash and collar
While you bark and growl and holler
Youíre a dogóyouíre not a fella
I will smack you with my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Smack you with my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Smack you with my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Smack you with my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)


You must think Iím a bitch literally
You act like a savage beast, thatís to say the least
This is war but I shall stand
Youíre behaviorís gotten out of hand
If the bite is hard, thatís cuz youíre a canine retard
Because



(Rihanna)
You wonít have much time around
Itís because youíll get put down
Get away from me
There's no hope for your adoption now
So go on and fly in a rage
Youíll be locked up in a cage
Because

(Chorus)

(Rihanna)
Youíre dead meat
Ooh doggie youíre dead meat
Bad dog get far from me
Get far from me
Youíre dead meat
Ooh doggie youíre dead meat

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