Everyone involved with him has been trying for YEARS to limit his barking - positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, you name it. We've been able to train our previous two dachshunds not to bark at EVERYTHING, but at 14 years old, this one just isn't buying it. It may be worth a try though. (You're not going to believe this, but via positive reinforcement, I was able to train our kitten to allow me to cut her nails, and 12 years later she still patiently allows me to do it as she awaits the kitty treat which are reserved for nail clipping only)
But he does have two young women at the vets he seems to like (he's been going there a lot for testing recently - long story) and maybe we can get one of them to either take him or come to our house.
As to Key West, my husband has been "on duty" with my dad for 3 1/2 years. He's only gotten away once - and spent that week taking care of his elderly mom so HER caregiver (his sister) could go away. He deserves a break. We're free-lancers in the same business, and NO ONE has work for us in January, so off we go.
We'll have a margarita for all my DU buddies who were so kind with their advice!