4. "Helps to be self aware and see it coming and stop that shit before it starts."
Absolutely. You never really know what someone else thinks until they open their mouth and tell you. It sounds to me as if you've suffered from an abusive relationship at some point, either with a partner or a parent. I used to do the same sort of thing with the negative self talk. It was a learned behavior instilled in me from the time I was very young. I'm happy to report that I'm much kinder to myself now days.