Autism hidden in plain sight

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13. My mom lives next door and we will go a couple weeks without speaking sometimes

She is 84 so i still kind of check up on her to see if she is doing okay. We have always had good communication between us and tell each other things we wouldn't ever tell others. I relate this to you because i think i can see what might be something of a problem. If you could accept your son for who he is and not someone you feel he should be then things could be easier for you both. In other words if you approach him with the thought of wanting to be his accepting friend instead of ball of putty you needed to change then things might be much more fulfilling.

His understatement deal is because he doesn't feel he can deal with the extra emotion those significant things contain when confronting them. If you come in at his same emotional level he is at he will trust you with those kind of things more than he does now.