Reply #42

In the discussion thread: My dad called from out of the blue the other day. We hadn't spoken since my niece's wedding [View all]

Response to Rowdyboy (Reply #32)

Sun Apr 29, 2012, 01:37 AM

Smarmie Doofus (9,732 posts)

42. You covered some pretty intricate and delicate emotional terrain.

And did it in a way that allowed most of us to relate. That's THE definition of good writing. Universality.

Most people.... esp on this particular board.... have difficult personal histories. They vary in particulars but struggling to build a decent life after a nightmarish childhood/youth is something almost everyone here can relate to. What I like most about your story is that you managed to hang on to your humanity and compassion . There's aways a temptation to be consumed by anger. Getting past that is always a struggle.

Hence the reaction to the thread. You struck a nerve.

And BTW, who said the South wasn't producing great writers anymore?

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Replies to this discussion thread

72 replies	Author	Time	Post
My dad called from out of the blue the other day. We hadn't spoken since my niece's wedding [View all]	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	OP
wonderful	NMlib	Apr 2012	#1
Welcome to DU, my favorite website and thanks for making one of your first posts	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#2
nail on head	NMlib	Apr 2012	#3
It was the only real option he had. He was very impressed with Canada's national health insurance	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#4
You are an amazing son. It does my soul good to hear this story. Bless all of you.	The Wielding Truth	Apr 2012	#5
I thank you for your kindness and I thank you for your blessings....	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#6
so then you are going to go visit alone ?	KILL THE WISE ONE	Apr 2012	#7
Probably the next time I go to New Orleans-which will be this year....	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#47
You rock dude. Very good of you to hear him out.	xchrom	Apr 2012	#8
He deserved it....the more I remember the more I'm reminded of the chances he took for us...He drove	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#48
Wow. That is so awesome that you are so past the ill feelings. Your heart is pure. I send you a hug!	DesertDiamond	Apr 2012	#9
You're very kind and I send the hug back....	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#50
Wonderful and moving storry	mazzarro	Apr 2012	#10
During our conversation I suggested he call my younger brother whose birthday (4/24) is 3 days	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#51
Right before my father died	BlueToTheBone	Apr 2012	#11
+1. n/t	Smarmie Doofus	Apr 2012	#23
My grandfather was my surrogate dad when I was a kid-he taught me stuff like how to fix a bicycle	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#49
Rowdyboy, thank you for sharing.	babylonsister	Apr 2012	#12
Family relationships are complicated but it was closure and it felt good...My mom forgave him for	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#30
It would be nice if people could see the harm they do	CanonRay	Apr 2012	#13
And I am as guilty of that as he is, I've hurt family and friends in the past	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#52
Sadly, ditto.	CanonRay	Apr 2012	#57
I am so glad you had a big enough heart to hear him out, and forgive him.	peacebird	Apr 2012	#14
The person he hurt most in life was the person I loved best-my mother....She was the single	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#53
Forgiveness if mostly for the person who has been harmed -	hedgehog	Apr 2012	#15
I have no doubt that you wil forgive when you need to....	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#37
Beautiful	dbackjon	Apr 2012	#16
Thank you my friend for reading....	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#54
You bought tears to my eyes. I'm glad you are able to forgive him. He is old but you really,	southernyankeebelle	Apr 2012	#17
I honestly hope he doesn't feel guilt.....His problem for 50 + years has been alcohol....	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#38
We all have are battles to fight. Don't we. My battle is fat. I have given up on trying to loose.	southernyankeebelle	Apr 2012	#59
Each and every family has some situation like this...One day my family was a strong, dynamic force.	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#68
Boy you ain't whisling dixie. I think onces my mother died we all just aren't as	southernyankeebelle	Apr 2012	#70
Thanks for sharing that here.	closeupready	Apr 2012	#18
Pretty much everybody with a family can relate in some way. Writing the op helped me sort it out	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#31
Whoa.	Smarmie Doofus	Apr 2012	#19
Thats one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me....It really was more a mental exercise	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#32
You covered some pretty intricate and delicate emotional terrain.	Smarmie Doofus	Apr 2012	#42
I think my problem has always been lack of discipline....I've always been very self-indulgent	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#43
Thanks for sharing this.	Zorra	Apr 2012	#20
It was cathartic....it helped me to organize my thoughts and put in perspective....	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#44
I love this	Vanje	Apr 2012	#21
I never expected so many people to relate to this but I should have....everyone experiences family	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#45
I'm so happy for you	mitchtv	Apr 2012	#22
He was just a kid, alcohol messed him up pretty badly, and his own parents divorced when he was 19	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#46
I hope that your kindness and ability to forgive is repaid to you a hundredfold. I think it will be.	yardwork	Apr 2012	#24
Nothing he could do or say now has the power to hurt me... There would be no point in continuing to	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#33
You're right. You won in all ways. Still, it was kind and good of you to be kind to him now.	yardwork	Apr 2012	#63
Very kind and generous of you, healing your family.	freshwest	Apr 2012	#25
Wow! What an experience...	Rhiannon12866	Apr 2012	#26
Oh, he just pissed my younger brother off big time with some over -the-line comments on Facebook	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#34
Facebook strikes me as very weird	Rhiannon12866	Apr 2012	#61
it takes a big man...	awoke_in_2003	Apr 2012	#27
He really had no idea what to expect-it took guts. We've spoken maybe three times in ten years...	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#35
I have so many friends who wish for this to happen every single day.	Warpy	Apr 2012	#28
We spent some time together at my niece's funeral two years ago....And he is a sick, old man....	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#36
I agree	Fearless	Apr 2012	#39
Its a long complicated relationship (aren't they all) but for now I'm gonna hold off and maybe call	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#40
Absolulely take your time and do it on your terms!	Fearless	Apr 2012	#41
I've been busy all day planting a garden, just now had a chance to check back in. I had no idea	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#29
Welcome!	colorado_ufo	Apr 2012	#55
wow almost my life....but	irisblue	Apr 2012	#56
I'm very sorry you experienced this trashy treatment. Everyone deserves better, regardless of the	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#69
Kinda the same here	HillWilliam	Apr 2012	#58
I don't understand how they can do it. Why don't they see us? I wanted Ward Cleaver for my dad	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#66
Hey, buddy	HillWilliam	Apr 2012	#71
Steve, my kids think I forgave their father too	JitterbugPerfume	Apr 2012	#60
The fact is, you may very well be right....my mom was an expert at manipulating me....	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#65
Rowdyboy, I think you are a marvel	Iwillnevergiveup	Apr 2012	#62
We're all on the same boat...but your story really moved me. I think of all the older family	Rowdyboy	Apr 2012	#67
............	Angry Dragon	Apr 2012	#64
Sorry I missed this earlier. Best wishes to you, your partner and your family.	grantcart	Apr 2012	#72

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