What is the best song about masturbation?

[EastTennesseeDem]

30. "Barrel of a Gun" by Guster is FAR AND AWAY the best

I know a movie star
I've got her plastered to my wall
Just like we're dear old friends
Like she already knows me
She's perfect as she seems
Lifts me right out the mezzanine
I finally fell in love
I've been waiting forever

4, 3, 2, 1
When at the barrel of a gun
Keep my head way down
Stay out, I'll stay in
Half dead, half numb
She's enough to make me warm
It's all so safe and sound

Lie back and fast asleep
If you could see what I could see
Drip drop a lovely dream
Goddamn you movie star
Can't you just play a minute more?
We'd be the best of friends
You could stay here forever

4, 3, 2, 1
When at the barrel of a gun
Keep my head way down
Stay out, I'll stay in
Half dead, half numb
She's enough to make me warm
It's all so safe and sound

She will be sweet on me
Just like a mystery
It's not so hard to see
If I'm not mistaken
She comes from far away
Gets closer every day
And all that I can say
She's all I want, all that I live for

4, 3, 2, 1
When at the barrel of a gun
Keep my head way down
Stay out, I'll stay in
Half dead, half numb
She's enough to make me warm
It's all so safe and sound