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In reply to the discussion: This message was self-deleted by its author [View all]Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)Thanks for not hitting me hard with that. I may have gotten carried away because your situation reminded me so much of my older sister's. I and others in my family didn't recognize the danger in my sister's situation. When Mom died, though, we recognized that Sis had never been totally on her own. She didn't know how to do that. She'd always had Mom to save her from any situation, or even blame when things went wrong. She was incapable of living on her own, much less moving somewhere to a better economy. She would've told you that she's mature, that she didn't miss out on life lessons. But she had, of course. And it was too late. People don't want to put up with a middle aged person just learning about how to put up with irritating coworkers or handling a car repair or whatever. She's never had to put up with things because she needed the paycheck (because she didn't really need the paycheck...she had Mom as a fallback).
By "maturity," I didn't mean the way a person acts. I mean inside. The ability to cope and deal and handle situations on a higher level than, say, age 20. And I don't mean cooking and cleaning, although that's part of it. It's a million little things that a person learns when living as an adult, on his own. And knowing that you HAVE to make something work. One day you'll have children, I guess. How can you care for them, if you've never cared totally for yourself?
If you don't live on your own, you cannot know what you don't know about that experience. You could still have your parent(s) around, but have your own place. I also wanted to warn you about the approach of 40. I remember being your age. 40 seemed a long way away. But it comes around sooner than you think.
You sound like a great guy who has great parents who love you. As for girls, once you move out on your own, I suggest an online dating service. I've known several people who have met their spouses that way. It really is a good way to meet specific women. Better than bars. But when I was 30, I probably wouldn't have been interested in a man who still lived at home. You're lucky...men have it pretty easy when it comes to the opposite sex. You don't have to be gorgeous, have a great body, or a lot of things that women have to have. The #1 things men have to have, IMO: Personality (there's a reason that women like comedians); good job (you don't have to be rich, but helps to have to have a vocation, a skill... some way to make a living - after all, men know from birth that they will have to make a living...if I could make a living with a decent vocation, and I wasn't even raised to do that, I am perplexed by men who don't do that). I have met all sorts of men, even men with disabilities, who have met and married nice looking women. Women are attracted to hard working, good men, who are confident, make them laugh, fun to be around, are considerate, nice enough looking, decent enough body...you get the idea.
If you are running into women who want flashy cars...run for the hills. That's not gf material. If all you want is a lay...head to the bars. If you act confidant enough, can take rejection, and if you buy her a few drinks, you're bound to get lucky. You have to be able to take rejection, though. My ex could give you lessons in that. Rejection? Ha! Persistence was his middle name. A natural born salesman. He called me a number of times before I'd agree to go out with him (he was younger). He got me to go out with him, fall in love with him, and marry him. And then divorce him.