3. Hrm, I think that sometimes we over analyze things.
Back then, to complete formal wear one would have to wear the following:
1 - Coat
2 - Vest
3 - Tie
4 - If you're fat, suspenders (some still wear those)
5 - Bib
6 - Shiny leather shoes
7 - Kerchief
8 - (Tartan)
9 - Cuff Links
10 - Dress shirt
11 - Tie pin
12 - V- Sweater or cardigan on the cold months
Then when being even more formal, going for a tuxedo.
Still, I guess I belong to the minority that like wearing ties. The coat is an afterthought. Sometimes I even wear a vest, and it looks dashing.
I still need to learn how to properly tie a bow tie, but I can tie a regular tie in many different fashions.
Any how, perhaps you may need to find better fitting shirts so that it doesn't adhere too close to the neck. I tend to not close the last button some time, and just tie the tie loosely there.
Besides, I think there is a time and place for such things. It is not as if we have to wear them often. Like you mentioned it is for a "decorous" attire.
I guess you're mentioning how in being decorous men end up going for a uniform android like look, where you may have a case there, but I guess I just don't mind it much. I don't see wearing a dress, fantastic coifs or anything like that to be something to wear. Besides, there are tons of guys who have dredlocks wearing suits. If I could pull that off, I so would. My hair is naturally wavy, so I tend to have it cropped short, I can't pull off the Don Juan type long hair. I guess, all I am saying, it is what you make of it and how you feel in what you wear. I just don't let those things bother me too much...
But to each their own. I just have to say, I love ties, using ties, and some of the ties' applications.