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President T Toilet

(8 posts)

25. I know exactly what you are going through..

Reply to Sugarcoated (Original post)

Wed Aug 1, 2012, 10:34 AM

Aug 2012

I have had the same relationship with some friends and a few relatives over the years. It's extremely frustrating. One day I happened to stumble across some information about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and found the information extremely liberating. That's not to say that your brothers have NPD but from the situations you have described it throws some red flags up for me. Unfortunately you will most likely never have a "normal" relationship with your brothers. The best you can do is to manage it a little better and you will ultimately have to take the higher road here. I'll try to track down some of the sites where I found info on NPD and pass them along. Googling it is a good start. Hope this helps and hang in there.

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29 replies

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Highlight:

How do you handle family members that you don't want to be around anymore? [View all] Sugarcoated Jul 2012 OP

Before I retired, HeiressofBickworth Jul 2012 #1

This is how I feel about it Major Nikon Jul 2012 #2

I know, I know Sugarcoated Jul 2012 #15

Sorry to hear you're an emotional hostage like I was... Pholus Jul 2012 #3

Thanks for sharing that Sugarcoated Jul 2012 #18

Sugarcoated, I feel your pain. My parents are gone, I have no kids, and only two sisters. raccoon Jul 2012 #4

Thanks, I checked out that site briefly this morning Sugarcoated Jul 2012 #10

Ignore them. After five years or so, they get the message. ohiosmith Jul 2012 #5

This one works for me. Sugarcoated Jul 2012 #11

Hide under the bed. HopeHoops Jul 2012 #6

How about this as a strategy... pipi_k Jul 2012 #7

This works for me as well. Sugarcoated Jul 2012 #12

Me too. I'm not good at thinking on my feet, thinking of a good response when someone does or says raccoon Aug 2012 #23

I know...I hear both of you... pipi_k Aug 2012 #26

I usually try to be funny. turtlerescue1 Jul 2012 #8

Humor is my default setting, it's an awesome defense. Problem is, they're quicker and funnier Sugarcoated Jul 2012 #13

Ignore them; avoid them; erase them from your life. In less than two years you'll byeya Jul 2012 #9

Move to a different state Myrina Jul 2012 #14

I actually considered that, Sugarcoated Jul 2012 #17

Moved to the opposite end of the country TrogL Jul 2012 #16

I don't recommend shutting them out. Wait Wut Jul 2012 #19

I don't think I'd ever shut them out completely, Sugarcoated Jul 2012 #21

ACoA is great pipi_k Aug 2012 #27

I stopped calling, and sent her cartons of cigarettes for Christmas for about 10 years slackmaster Jul 2012 #20

Tell Them How You Feel...Discuss It And Be Honest HelenaHandbasket Aug 2012 #22

Sometimes the most civil approach is to treat relatives like they're perfect strangers. Baitball Blogger Aug 2012 #24

I know exactly what you are going through.. President T Toilet Aug 2012 #25

I try to make the visits or calls few, far between, and short Populist_Prole Aug 2012 #28

poverty, e-mail Kali Aug 2012 #29