Reply #26

In the discussion thread: Wedding etiquette poll [View all]

Tue Jul 24, 2012, 08:47 PM

kimi (2,441 posts)

26. Becca sounds like a very mature & thoughtful woman

I think you're lucky that she's joining the family, frankly!

I probably would have not said anything to her - but that's just me. Weddings are incredibly stressful events, & brides have so much on their minds - so I'm very impressed that she took your message so well. Personally, I might not have, & I know plenty of "bridezillas" who wouldn't have, either. But looks like it'll work out

.

FWIW, I understand your concerns. When my ex & I got married, we had a son already, who was 8 months old. We got a babysitter for him - he wasn't at our wedding or reception, due to concerns that you've raised, basically. And ours was not a formal celebration either, but we just didn't want the baby or the guests to feel uncomfortable.

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Replies to this discussion thread

53 replies	Author	Time	Post
Wedding etiquette poll [View all]	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	OP
I don't understand today's parents of infants.	snappyturtle	Jul 2012	#1
Thanks. Yes, I'm 61. My boys are 25 and 22.	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#10
If you had just politely expressed concern	Lisa D	Jul 2012	#2
Out of linein my opinion.	HERVEPA	Jul 2012	#3
I agree with you, the baby will probably sleep through it.	kwassa	Jul 2012	#12
See, this is one of the reasons I didn't want to attend in the first place.	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#17
You should stay home	trixie	Jul 2012	#40
Yep, suck it up. It's only one night.	PassingFair	Jul 2012	#46
I don't like wedding receptions	OmahaBlueDog	Jul 2012	#4
Even though I chose	pipi_k	Jul 2012	#5
Since you’re planning to go the wedding only	frogmarch	Jul 2012	#6
I am a known baby hog and babies love me so I	Phentex	Jul 2012	#7
Not wrong to express your opinion	bigwillq	Jul 2012	#8
Not 3 months--3 weeks old!	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#16
No matter what the age	bigwillq	Jul 2012	#19
you're just digging a bigger hole	trixie	Jul 2012	#41
I wrote the bride as a fb message--no one else will see it.	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#9
Her post is what, at least to me, makes your comment OK etiquette-wise.	kiva	Jul 2012	#27
I think you did/wrote the correct thing. Some people are not bothered by a screaming, poopy baby...	BlueJazz	Jul 2012	#11
It's as much about the presence of the baby (quiet or not) becoming the focus of the dinner table	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#15
Very good points. nt	BlueJazz	Jul 2012	#20
Not to mention....	pipi_k	Jul 2012	#25
Good grief! The baby poops, you change the diaper. Not rocket science.	HERVEPA	Jul 2012	#30
That wasn't my point	pipi_k	Jul 2012	#35
You should be glad you never had to sit next to my Auntie Mae....	PassingFair	Jul 2012	#47
I never took my sons to formal,	HappyMe	Jul 2012	#13
Please, no children?	trixie	Jul 2012	#42
That's actually what I was thinking too	LoveMyCali	Jul 2012	#52
this is another PERFECT example of how and why	Kali	Jul 2012	#14
So true!	trixie	Jul 2012	#43
Here's the bride's response to my fb message (edited to omit names)	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#18
She handled that well.	GoneOffShore	Jul 2012	#21
That was a very gracious reply.	Lisa D	Jul 2012	#24
Becca sounds like a very mature & thoughtful woman	kimi	Jul 2012	#26
She's not joining the family--she IS my brother's only daughter and has 4 brothers.	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#49
Three week old wouldn't be too bad. Three months old, now...	haele	Jul 2012	#22
If ya have a kid, stay the heck home and take care of it. BOTH do not HAVE to attend.	benld74	Jul 2012	#23
That is silly. A sibling gets married and someone has to miss it?	CBGLuthier	Jul 2012	#33
Yeah, because heaven forbid	pipi_k	Jul 2012	#37
I don't have an opinion on your response ..	LNM	Jul 2012	#28
Cost is NOT an issue. It's going to be a big (250 guests or more) wedding	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#32
Don't go, really, really, don't go	trixie	Jul 2012	#44
Not going is not an option at this point. See # 49.	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#50
I wouldn't have been able to get a sitter for a baby at 3 weeks	gollygee	Jul 2012	#29
Thanks for everyone's thoughts. I answered my own poll	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#31
A little research has yielded these tidbits about etiquette for formal weddings and babies	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#34
Thanks for sharing that...	pipi_k	Jul 2012	#36
This message was self-deleted by its author	seaglass	Jul 2012	#38
Not going is not an option at this point. See # 49.	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#51
3 weeks is very young	JVS	Jul 2012	#39
No One's asked the ALL IMPORTANT Question yet?	alphafemale	Jul 2012	#45
I wouldn't worry about it either way	Motown_Johnny	Jul 2012	#48
I had a very long talk with hubby last night about all this (he's a psychiatrist/psychoanalyst)	mnhtnbb	Jul 2012	#53

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