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Scuba

(53,475 posts)
126. When I was a kid, there was this apple tree in our yard...
Sat Jun 30, 2012, 04:15 PM
Jun 2012

... by late fall every apple had been harvested, many eaten on the spot. Well, not every apple. There were a couple beauties left, way, way up high in the tree.

I couldn't climb up there because the branches were too thin. I couldn't shake the apples free, even when I looped a rope around the branches and jerked and tugged with all my might.

I just couldn't get them loose. Or could I? A lightbulb went on and an idea flashed in my brain. The light apparently then went right back off, because no further thinking occurred until "afterwards".

I quickly tied the end of the rope to the rear fender of my bicycle, jumped on and sped away. Surely the force I would be able to generate would bring down those apples!

When I got to the end of the rope, the tree branches gave, just a little. My bike then came to an abrupt halt just as the branches rebounded sending the rear fender of my bike flying upward. I was launched high and far. My actual flight was brief but it seemed to take longer and happen in slow motion. It was very exciting. Fortunately I broke my fall by doing a face-plant on the concrete pavement so nothing important was harmed.

I don't recall if any apples came free or not.

It was my first experience with tachypsychia.

Dumbest ways you've injured yourself. [View all] Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 OP
Years ago, I broke my thumb in two places while taking off a jacket arcane1 Jun 2012 #1
"improper splashdown" Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #4
hahahahahahaha Bertha Venation Jun 2012 #57
If you had a video that demonstrated the splashdown clearly. LiberalFighter Jun 2012 #66
omg...LMAO !!! Laura PourMeADrink Jun 2012 #86
My Mother used to tell me that I was as graceful as an ox. blueamy66 Jun 2012 #115
I had paint on my arm one time. I opened the turpintine and rubbed it up and down my arm. Turns applegrove Jun 2012 #2
That's why I'll never own a shed. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #10
Yup. I read labels now. applegrove Jun 2012 #11
OMG! That reminds me of the time I got the wipes mixed up at the OB/Gyn woodsprite Jun 2012 #14
Slapping a horse on the butt csziggy Jun 2012 #3
Yee-ouch! Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #6
No, they're still in the joint csziggy Jun 2012 #23
I'm so sorry csziggy. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #39
It doesn't interfer with my needlework, so it's OK csziggy Jun 2012 #75
I got a double kick to the torso doing something like that once Kali Jun 2012 #16
That's why I was standing to one side of the doorway! csziggy Jun 2012 #22
Most every way involved dumbness. bluedigger Jun 2012 #5
I've done the pruning/ladder stunt. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #8
I already feel so much better. turtlerescue1 Jun 2012 #7
Another 126 hours on that ledge and you might have been famous! Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #9
heh heh heh Bertha Venation Jun 2012 #58
Poison sumac. hay rick Jun 2012 #17
Wrestling with hubby, fell off the bed. woodsprite Jun 2012 #12
What state do you live in? That is sick to have someone laugh when Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #13
Delaware, I hope it was because our neighbor stayed with us and knew woodsprite Jun 2012 #15
St Francis or Christiana? LynneSin Jun 2012 #31
Christiana, I've never been to St Francis woodsprite Jun 2012 #77
About a week ago I dropped my laptop edge-on onto my toes. nolabear Jun 2012 #18
No. That is my all time nightmare dumb accident. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #25
When I was Broken_Hero Jun 2012 #19
Actually it seems... WillParkinson Jun 2012 #27
LOL! Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #28
I had a laundry attack, too! I tugged on a sheet and WHAM... CurtEastPoint Jun 2012 #132
I remember 2 really dumb ones... GaYellowDawg Jun 2012 #20
I have a theory about people, especially mothers, who shout out warning when you're doing Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #32
Spraying myself in the eyes with spray-on varnish. zanana1 Jun 2012 #21
That's another classic. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #33
Usually mine involved alcohol. RiffRandell Jun 2012 #24
Congrats for breaking that bad spell. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #34
nearly a real disaster the other day - working in my driveway garden, NRaleighLiberal Jun 2012 #26
A camera with a good close-up feature will fix that. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #35
Tripping over a tombstone while blindfolded and dressed as Bugs Bunny LynneSin Jun 2012 #29
No fair. You win another one! Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #36
My was sorority hell night for us pledges LynneSin Jun 2012 #41
LynneSin a soroiety girl! Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #42
I'm very proud and honored to have been a sorority girl LynneSin Jun 2012 #43
I came from a small campus where they sucked the life out of campus social life for Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #46
I've seen a pack of sorority girls all dressed alike. Manifestor_of_Light Jun 2012 #87
We can start a whole thread on the subject. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #91
Oh is that it? I knew it was about who you know. Manifestor_of_Light Jun 2012 #125
I shot a staple-gun through my thumb while repairing a couch cyberswede Jun 2012 #30
I saw that on Tosh.0! Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #37
Head injury defrosting my refrigerator Generic Brad Jun 2012 #38
That one sounds scary. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #44
sorry to laugh...but I can see that happening. Laura PourMeADrink Jun 2012 #85
I'm certain it looked like something out of the "Three Stooges" Generic Brad Jun 2012 #110
LOOOOONNNNGGG list. HopeHoops Jun 2012 #40
Pick one. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #45
Getting absolutely shitfaced and challenging a 6' Norwegian marathon runner to a race. HopeHoops Jun 2012 #49
Alcohol. What can you say? Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #62
"Uh, his name is 'Ralf'." HopeHoops Jun 2012 #76
Mine usually involve pipi_k Jun 2012 #47
In all fairness to you the slope and 140 pounds of canine enthusiasm would have Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #48
Probably.... pipi_k Jun 2012 #50
i fractured my ankle jumping to grab something fizzgig Jun 2012 #51
I think that's called as Potts fracture. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #63
How is your elbone, Fizzigig? Bertha Venation Jun 2012 #109
much better, thank you fizzgig Jun 2012 #123
I'm well! Bertha Venation Jun 2012 #124
Didn't test a pot of water well enough before whistler162 Jun 2012 #52
Oh man! Double hit. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #64
Trying to get decent reception on AM radio. Liberal Veteran Jun 2012 #53
Okay. No offense, but I could see this one in a comedy show. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #65
Could you put a video of that online someplace? LiberalFighter Jun 2012 #72
omg hahahahahahahaha Laura PourMeADrink Jun 2012 #88
broke my nose by dropping a toaster on my face TorchTheWitch Jun 2012 #54
hahahhahahaha Bertha Venation Jun 2012 #60
Anything violent that ends "on my face," or '"in the face" is always morbidly funny. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #67
Tried to get my fiance off the bed and into the car while he was having a seizure blueamy66 Jun 2012 #55
I got stiches in the chin too. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #68
Having the stitches removed was even more painful blueamy66 Jun 2012 #114
Broke a toe (luckily that's all) running outdoors; drunk, at 3: 00 AM . abq e streeter Jun 2012 #56
Man, what a shitty weekend that must have been. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #69
Fractured my foot doing an air-guitar solo during Van Halen's "Jump" n/t Shrek Jun 2012 #59
Shrek, I assign you the most dumbass accident award of this thread. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #71
LOL! Okay that's good. nolabear Jun 2012 #84
Running down the stairs . . . Bertha Venation Jun 2012 #61
Okay, Bertha, you should have started with the shooting your foot with a BB gun--intentionally. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #73
I was about 5 or 6 years old helping my dad in the potato garden. LiberalFighter Jun 2012 #70
Farm accident. They're inevitable with all those dangerous tools. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #74
I wouldn't call it a farm accident as my parents weren't farmers especially LiberalFighter Jun 2012 #78
My two dumbest both involve ice. noamnety Jun 2012 #79
Oh man. For the first half of your entry, Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #92
I can laugh about the frostbite too now. noamnety Jun 2012 #113
Congratulations! Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #116
Was so relaxed after a massage Habibi Jun 2012 #80
I know the feeling. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #93
helping a republican fascisthunter Jun 2012 #81
No good deed goes unpunished. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #94
I just fall. laundry_queen Jun 2012 #82
Take that hypoglycemia seriously, now. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #98
Just this morning. kentauros Jun 2012 #83
I'm famous for getting my toe stuck in the cuff of my pants. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #99
Cat-like balance and reflexes, I take it? kentauros Jun 2012 #105
Possibly. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #121
I think the "last of my youthful limberness" kentauros Jun 2012 #127
Completely dislocated my shoulder out of socket making a non-obscene hand gesture REP Jun 2012 #89
One of those low noise fans, apparently. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #100
No, an antique one with a thumb-accessible screen REP Jun 2012 #108
Heal quickly and take lots of calcium and vitamin D. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #117
Skill saw 2 - rrneck 0. rrneck Jun 2012 #90
Another classic. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #101
I once vacuumed my foot. murielm99 Jun 2012 #95
Vacuumed your toe... Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #102
Was standing on the edge of emilyg Jun 2012 #96
I actually have some blackout time that I can't answer for. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #103
oh my god...that is hysterical ! love this thread ! nt Laura PourMeADrink Jun 2012 #111
Worst part was cuz I emilyg Jul 2012 #137
Just look at all these replies! murielm99 Jun 2012 #97
I love my DUers. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #104
"Dumbest"? Well ... "karate-chopping" a piece of wood during wood shop in high school ... zbdent Jun 2012 #106
lol Laura PourMeADrink Jun 2012 #112
Another classic. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #118
Car Door wmyers Jun 2012 #107
I shut the car door on my Grandmother's hand. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #119
I broke my foot in HS gym class Rhiannon12866 Jun 2012 #120
Oh. Man. You gotta meet the guy who broke his foot playing air guitar. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #122
When I was a kid, there was this apple tree in our yard... Scuba Jun 2012 #126
Very interesting and educational. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #129
Thanks. I've been interested in physics ever since. Tachypsycia I prefer to avoid... Scuba Jun 2012 #131
I dropped a 2 liter bottle of ginger ale on my pinkie toe and broke it. GoCubsGo Jun 2012 #128
Interesting about the toenail. Baitball Blogger Jun 2012 #130
I think it was more that it wasn't rubbing on my shoe. GoCubsGo Jun 2012 #136
Chipped a tooth on a fried egg once. progressoid Jun 2012 #133
I would have understood if you said a hard boiled egg. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #139
I punched a hole in my thumb with the milk machine during freshman orientation at college Nikia Jun 2012 #134
I know the feeling. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #140
I have hurt myself many different ways panader0 Jun 2012 #135
That sounds harrowing. Sorry for the experience. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #141
I was rebuilding a Quadrajet and sprayed cleaner down this little hole SkatmanRoth Jul 2012 #138
Sounds like something you would see in a Coyote - Road Runner cartoon. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #142
Knocked myself out with a cabinet door Nevernose Jul 2012 #143
You were lucky you were watching the time. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #146
ya know the scene in Christmas story where the kid gets his tougne stuck on the flagpole? dembotoz Jul 2012 #144
That was probably the neighbor kid's best day on the planet. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #147
You weren't eating a pretzel at the time, were you? Art_from_Ark Jul 2012 #145
I had two hands on the cellphone. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #148
Fell in love with a well-known sinister woman. aikoaiko Jul 2012 #149
You know what they say about love and marriage. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #150
When I was a kid I found a razor blade... caraher Jul 2012 #151
That reminds me about a pet peeve in movies. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #152
I have fifty year old scars across my fingers from a razor blade. hunter Jul 2012 #156
Fell off the roof of a moving car. I was drunk and 18, okay? HopeHoops Jul 2012 #153
I'm beginning to see the pattern. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #154
It's imprinted. It hasn't changed. HopeHoops Jul 2012 #155
I dropped a glass milk bottle and tried to catch it before it hit the ground. hunter Jul 2012 #157
What a kodak moment. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #158
My wife scared me half to death with a move like that caraher Jul 2012 #159
on labor day last year backtoblue Jul 2012 #160
I thought they built rockers to avoid that kind of thing. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #165
it was a "sliding" rocker backtoblue Jul 2012 #167
There must have been a part missing. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #168
hmmm... backtoblue Jul 2012 #169
So I was young, stupid and bored sitting in my mom's car by myself charlie and algernon Jul 2012 #161
I went through one of those quiet sufferings too. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #166
Thought I had an eyelash in my eye, frogmarch Jul 2012 #162
OMIGOD! Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #170
Aaaaaaagggggghhhhhh!!!!!! Iggo Jul 2012 #174
Changing batteries on some device, standing at my kitchen counter. Iggo Jul 2012 #163
Two dimensional thinking in a three dimensional world. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #171
Yessir! Iggo Jul 2012 #173
throwing bullets we found into a fire Broderick Jul 2012 #164
Okay. Not cool. Baitball Blogger Jul 2012 #172
I broke my toe mykpart Jul 2012 #175
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