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Response to harmonicon (Reply #49)

Sun Apr 29, 2012, 07:53 PM

51. No, coercion is holding a gun to her head and saying: "you wanna go out with me?"

 

I'm being hyperbolic, of course, but you get my point.

I'm not being defensive; I'm just tired of a very tiny minority of women on DU trying to impose their textbook philosophies upon us, the rest, who live and act in the real world, outside of the textbook theories, and trying to make us feel bad over common everyday things.

If I go up to a waitress and ask her out, she is in no way obligated to say yes. In no way. Not even in the slightest. The only way you would think she is, is if you're believing the theoretical mumbo-jumbo the other member wrote above. If I ask out a waitress and she turns me down, what am I gonna do? Make her go out with me? Abduct her and take her to a restaurant and a movie? Threaten to kill her mom if she doesn't go to grab a cup of coffee with me? THAT would be coercion. Simply accepting the 'no' and get the fuck over it is what I would do. Please, tell me, HOW is accepting 'no' and getting over it coercion? Really, I'm curious, 'cause I didn't see it.

Not going to the place she works anymore but get my coffee elsewhere, after she turned me down, would be another option. Again, how is that coercion? It would be MY (hypothetical, I must stress) choice to do that, so how is the burden on HER? I'll give you the answer: the burden isn't on her, it never was on her and it never will be on her. Some women just WANT to think the burden is on her. Some women WANT her to be a victim of a man. That's their narrative: even if a man does something completely ordinary, like asking a woman out, he's STILL coercing her! Baaaaaaaad!

I'm simply tired of having to defend everyday common things on this site all the time, that's all.

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DutchLiberal Apr 2012 #51
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