Reply #21

One clearly isn't even a closed adoption, even if the adoptive parents aren't communicating with her.

My son's original birth certificate was marked secret by the state, and replaced with a new one with our names for his protection, not his birth mother.

We were required by state law to gain permission from the father as well, which we did.

The birth mother giving up a child has the option to pursue a closed, or open adoption. If the birth mother was forced into it under duress, that is actionable in the courts, and the secret copy of the birth certificate can be obtained by the state under court order. That is why they are not destroyed.

In general terms this is a non-issue. Sequestered birth records is not the issue at all. What might be a real issue, is birth parents being coerced into adoption against their will, and breach of contract in cases where the adoptive parents do certain things like try to close the adoption after it was arranged as an open adoption.

The 'my son is a pirate, and doesn't belong with the tennis set' line in the video is just silly. She abdicated any input into that when she finalized the adoption. The birth mother doesn't get to question mine or my wife's parenting skills or methods. That day is passed. Door closed. He is not her son anymore. Some of this was highly insulting to adoptive parents. Several of these mothers may have valid concerns about THEIR particular adoptions, but not all do.


My wife and I ARE our son's parents now. Period. Done deal. We do chose to provide his history to him when he's old enough to understand. Any effort to contact his birth mother will be initiated by him, and him alone, not the birth mother. (I think it's important that he AT LEAST have the option to obtain genetic family history so he might know medical predispositions)