Republicans: A Profile Of The Classic Abuser [View all]
As a former victim of domestic violence, in another lifetime, I learned a lot about the abusive personality. When it was over, and I was out, I became a domestic violence hotline counselor. The classes I took to train me for this job taught me two things. One, that abusers aren’t psychotic but instead have character disorders. And two, the abusive behavior isn’t uncontrollable; it is a learned social behavior.
Enter stage left, the Republicans and their fringe faction that is really no longer fringe, the Teabaggers.
The behavior of the Republicans most recently around the debt ceiling debate, and just in general, reminds me vividly of the abusive personality that I engaged with daily, for years, until my divorce. No compromise was ever allowed, it was his way or his other way. He never talked about the many ways in which he was wrong, it was “look what you made me do.” In his mind, the only one whose behavior needed changing was mine. Any abusive behavior of his was justified because, in his warped thinking, I provoked him. He used bullying, fear tactics, threats and intimidation to get his way. In the end, although never abusive to them directly, he used my kids as pawns in his abusive game. He refused to share responsibility in any part of our relationship breakdown. I owned it, lock, stock and barrel.