5. "We promise a new brush in every scrub bucket." - Official Republican Platform for 'the girls'
The Repubbies are fighting back against public awareness of their soul-ugly War on Women. They claim they are, um, "getting on top of Girly Issues and shit like that" with their "OFFICIAL 2012 Republican Platform for the Little Ladies." "These new brushes," the Republicons claim, "should shut them up for a little while."