when I made the mistake of leaving Portland, Oregon to move to a hick suburb called Woodridge, IL in September 2008. Unfortunately for me, I did not even visit the place first - it was during the recession, I was laid off and I took the first job I was offered - in THAT place. Moved my entire life there on September 19th, only to find that my neighbors were complete asshole racist, misogynistic RAPEublicans (are there any other kind?) who held abortion protests outside the Planned Parenthood next door to my complex ALL DAY EVERY DAY, complete with little kids holding signs of bloody fetuses and being told to call adult women murderers, and whined nonstop about how much they hated the fact that Abraham Lincoln is on their license plates and as one woman said of Lincoln's freeing the slaves, 'Well, ah don't like that guy because ah think, you know, those people should maybe, um . . . get back to work? If ya know what I mean." Yeah, I knew what she meant when the neighborhood decided to hold a pre-Halloween Obama "bashing" by hanging effigies from the trees in their front yards. Whoever came up with the most insulting one would win the prize, probably a lifetime subscription to 'KKK Monthly' or something. Well, the winner? The one with the sash that read "Mr. Smoked Irish 2008".
Needless to say, I left on October 8th, 2008. I lasted three whole weeks in that vile place before I came to my senses and moved back to Portland, where I rejoiced on election night that Obama had beaten these racists and I'm positive he'll do it again next week.
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