5. This might work if they weren't trying to sell a piece of rotten sausage
If they had an even slightly appealing ticket, attacking the president might get them over the top.
The candidates they are running are:
(1) stupid (Ryan trying to convince the AARP his Vouchercare plan is a good idea; Romney comes up with a new one every day)
(2) condescending (Romney going into dark, dark makeup for his Univision interview, and filling the audience with Caucasian teabaggers wasn't such a hot idea either)
and, our favorite,
(3) so evil and corrupt they make Nixon and Agnew look like saints