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laundry_queen

(8,646 posts)
114. Perhaps it was a different era or something
Mon Jun 25, 2012, 12:10 AM
Jun 2012

I don't know how old you are.

You consider the shoe thing a harmless prank, and I don't. To me, it might be funny if it was only me and my friends, but here there's a whole extended family to consider. To me, that crosses the line. I can tell you are being sincere about being concerned about other people's feelings - perhaps I misjudged. I don't think, however, it would hurt to re-evaluate what were/are your norms, as much of what we perceived as normal in the way we were raised (fist fighting at school, being hit by our parents) are no longer the norms. I'm glad that you say you'd step in if you saw someone who didn't like what was going on. That says a lot.

And some of the horseplay stuff was acceptable in my family and even at school, and I even participated, but wrestling and pranks are not the same thing. Usually wrestling is a mutual agreement and by participating you give consent. Not the same thing with pranks. I don't see pranks as harmless. I don't even care for stupid shows like 'punk'd' and I avoid them. Maybe I'm too sensitive, but I guess I've had a lifetime of being ridiculed for being 'too sensitive' and it bothers me when I see people not empathizing with those who dislike pranks and putting the blame on THEM. Maybe it's a gender thing too - my dad had no use for 'girlie' things and was forever trying to toughen me up. Um, I'm a girl, I'm supposed to be 'girlie'. My brother seems to have a completely different view on how we were raised so maybe it just doesn't affect some people and maybe it is along gender lines. Or not. Maybe it was just me, but I went through so much of my life being invalidated about how I felt about the subtle emotional abuse I endured, and I'm just now recognizing a lot of it, that these kind of actions that are often couched in 'horseplay' or 'pranking' terms raise red flags with me. I think of red flags even more when it is someone in a position of power (a parent, or teacher or coach) who engages in those kinds of behaviors.

Like Mitt Romney.

I still think he's a bully. Even my dad wouldn't have gone so far as to shove my face in butter and he enjoyed humiliating us as much as anyone.

Sounds like a bully. Swede Jun 2012 #1
garden-variety bully Skittles Jun 2012 #48
you heard of the "butter prank", no doubt? stlsaxman Jun 2012 #2
wow. i am disgusted with the butter, seeing my brother doing something like that with my boys seabeyond Jun 2012 #3
Seeing as he likes to fire people, and uses power moves on the weaker/kids WingDinger Jun 2012 #4
you know, i hadnt thought about that. i dont believe he can win. money is the only thing that seabeyond Jun 2012 #17
the shoe thing The Blue Flower Jun 2012 #68
The sanctity of marriage... AlbertCat Jun 2012 #69
..the sanctity of friendship... seabeyond Jun 2012 #75
exactly, yes. and why would this man not get, how serious a moment this is. taking vows. seabeyond Jun 2012 #74
Some fratboys never grow up. But, they do run for president. Tierra_y_Libertad Jun 2012 #5
"...and now we do it to OUR kids... naturally" Voice for Peace Jun 2012 #6
He is a psychopath plain and simple krawhitham Jun 2012 #7
He ain't right... kentuck Jun 2012 #8
he ain't right at all, Blanche... n/t ejbr Jun 2012 #18
Yeah, Romney is a sick sick puppy, I believe ohgeewhiz Jun 2012 #9
Controlling people through humiliation aint_no_life_nowhere Jun 2012 #10
This is how sociopathy is passed down through the generations. Odin2005 Jun 2012 #11
+1 nt laundry_queen Jun 2012 #35
C'mon, the "Help" thing is pretty funny. MrSlayer Jun 2012 #12
If You Never Decked The Fella, Son, You Never Grew All The Way Up.... The Magistrate Jun 2012 #13
Yup. I was 20 years old ... TahitiNut Jun 2012 #20
Mr. dressage looks like the toughening up type? He's an asshole, the light swtich thing is from uponit7771 Jun 2012 #14
You should get together with the Romney boys & trade stories. Ino Jun 2012 #15
I was not being abused. MrSlayer Jun 2012 #30
Wrestling doesn't seem to be in the same behavior bracket LiberalAndProud Jun 2012 #47
A lot of people laundry_queen Jun 2012 #109
But yet he doesn't appreciate it when the joke's on him. Quantess Jun 2012 #26
That's the story that was unclear. MrSlayer Jun 2012 #33
Child abuse?! I doubt it. Quantess Jun 2012 #34
I don't disagree with you. MrSlayer Jun 2012 #36
I am always in favor of the cut-and-dry. Quantess Jun 2012 #42
Look at his record! From bullying kids in school, to MADem Jun 2012 #80
"I just think people are piling on and trying to make him seem worse than he is." demwing Jun 2012 #61
His policies are bad enough. MrSlayer Jun 2012 #99
I don't recommend minimizing his policy failures demwing Jun 2012 #101
This so-called " butter prank goes beyond toughening up and into some sort of enough Jun 2012 #27
He's a weirdo. I don't know of anyone who does that kind of thing. TNLib Jun 2012 #59
I know of a case where a man smeared his wife's face in peanut butter treestar Jun 2012 #72
help onshoes hollysmom Jun 2012 #32
RMoney didn't go to public school. He was a prep school kid. AllyCat Jun 2012 #49
Your brother knew HELP was printed on his shoes, Willard's former friend mulsh Jun 2012 #90
Not at a wedding, it isn't karynnj Jun 2012 #39
Please. MrSlayer Jun 2012 #40
I bet a number of people noticed and thought it completely stupid karynnj Jun 2012 #41
I agree. Something like that is disruptive of a special moment in a couple's life together deutsey Jun 2012 #53
I'll thank you to be careful with the insults. tomp Jun 2012 #54
Enough with the "stick-up-the-ass" bullshit demwing Jun 2012 #63
I am hardly a bully. In fact, that's laughable. MrSlayer Jun 2012 #106
And that response laundry_queen Jun 2012 #108
I can't believe how badly you're reading me. MrSlayer Jun 2012 #112
Perhaps it was a different era or something laundry_queen Jun 2012 #114
But it took peoples minds off the ceremony and wedding and tender thoughts. Auntie Bush Jun 2012 #92
The family of the bride might not have been so amused. thesquanderer Jun 2012 #93
Sorry, but I don't think your father was normal. JDPriestly Jun 2012 #50
Well you're wrong. MrSlayer Jun 2012 #52
MrSlayer, I completely agree Harry Monroe Jun 2012 #81
If the recipient found it funny or amusing then there was no abuse Harry Monroe Jun 2012 #56
In my family, we kids dished it out and took it, but our parents were adults JDPriestly Jun 2012 #71
My dad would play harmless practical jokes all the time Harry Monroe Jun 2012 #78
And everyone, no matter how old you are, is a kid at heart Harry Monroe Jun 2012 #79
Yes, you're wrong. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2012 #118
There's a fine line between practical jokes and abuse Harry Monroe Jun 2012 #55
Instead of making Romney seem reasonable, you've made your dad sound like an asshole Orrex Jun 2012 #57
Have to agree; just because he is their father treestar Jun 2012 #73
Bullshit. Hugabear Jun 2012 #60
There's A Fine Line raindaddy Jun 2012 #65
The featured comment to the piece on Jezebel does a good job of explaining this IMO. Pirate Smile Jun 2012 #77
"Normalization" of abuse El3 Jun 2012 #83
I appreciate that everyone's family dynamics are different, but Still Blue in PDX Jun 2012 #85
"Part of your duties as a father is toughening your boys up." We must live in different universes. frazzled Jun 2012 #97
You must. MrSlayer Jun 2012 #105
That excuse is incredibly lame. jeff47 Jun 2012 #115
There's going to be no winning this with some of you. MrSlayer Jun 2012 #116
Sorry what you call toughening up nadinbrzezinski Jun 2012 #103
"reinstatement"? It never ended....or slowed down... n/t n2doc Jun 2012 #16
Nothing to be sorry about. GoCubsGo Jun 2012 #19
I had a few of people act like this was no big deal too... AynRandCollectedSS Jun 2012 #21
Like father ~ like sons goclark Jun 2012 #22
Interesting that Willard's "sense of humor" never takes a self-deprecating turn Tom Ripley Jun 2012 #23
Greg Stillson... nt raccoon Jun 2012 #24
+1 000 000 000 kestrel91316 Jun 2012 #25
There is Aerows Jun 2012 #28
"He does like pranks but he doesn't like to get pranked. We've learned that the hard way," Josh said Bozita Jun 2012 #29
Don't these candidates have professional advisors? roody Jun 2012 #31
I just caught the end of them with Wolf B. goclark Jun 2012 #37
Amen! The whole R party is out of touch. treestar Jun 2012 #76
The more stories I hear the worse he appears karynnj Jun 2012 #38
There is something really creepy about him Raine Jun 2012 #43
The look in the eyes of these boys was haunting in the pictures posted here last night. freshwest Jun 2012 #44
I'm not saying Mitt Romney's a serial killer... Cheap_Trick Jun 2012 #45
Was that really 'with affection'? LiberalAndProud Jun 2012 #46
Mitt Rob-me's pranks are what I would expect Jamaal510 Jun 2012 #51
that man is a wierdo TNLib Jun 2012 #58
"some people think GITMO should be closed; I want to double it." Mitt 2008 Maine-i-acs Jun 2012 #62
Dads are supposed to say, "Pull my finger," and then fart. That's a prank you pull valerief Jun 2012 #64
+1,000 nt MADem Jun 2012 #82
My dad used to eat raw eggs right from the shell demwing Jun 2012 #102
As long as he didn't smash the eggs in your face, I agree. nt valerief Jun 2012 #117
From the shell to his mouth demwing Jun 2012 #119
There is something deranged about him..... Swede Atlanta Jun 2012 #66
Maybe a couple of months back PCintern wrote a profile Mira Jun 2012 #67
You're sorry for telling the truth? WTF? cognoscere Jun 2012 #70
"Full reinstatement of the torture regime", like GITMO? just1voice Jun 2012 #84
I'm sorry but there's somewrong terribly wrong with the cult of personality just1voice Jun 2012 #86
If Mitt had actually proposed anything re: healtchcare, equal rights or corruption... Orrex Jun 2012 #98
Fine on that issue we win treestar Jun 2012 #100
What a sick jerk. FlyinButter Jun 2012 #87
There is something wrong with him liberal from boston Jun 2012 #88
Mitt Romney has always striken me as somebody extremely mean. Is that the president we want to have? Mass Jun 2012 #89
Mitt will be the first corporation elected into office Rex Jun 2012 #91
Correct! And right now in Utah, Romney and his investors are planning that hostile takeover. Avalux Jun 2012 #94
Another aspect of that scenario that concerns me Ilsa Jun 2012 #110
One of my co-workers lived in Utah and we had a conversation about their canned food. Avalux Jun 2012 #111
My best friend, not a Mormon, Ilsa Jun 2012 #113
Just a good ol' boy, Never meanin' no harm.... Beartracks Jun 2012 #95
I've seen that "Help" trick before Blue_In_AK Jun 2012 #96
I've heard of it, but I think a whole lot of people would find it extremely unfunny. gulliver Jun 2012 #104
K & R Scurrilous Jun 2012 #107
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