General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: I'm sorry, there's something terribly wrong with him [View all]laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)I don't know how old you are.
You consider the shoe thing a harmless prank, and I don't. To me, it might be funny if it was only me and my friends, but here there's a whole extended family to consider. To me, that crosses the line. I can tell you are being sincere about being concerned about other people's feelings - perhaps I misjudged. I don't think, however, it would hurt to re-evaluate what were/are your norms, as much of what we perceived as normal in the way we were raised (fist fighting at school, being hit by our parents) are no longer the norms. I'm glad that you say you'd step in if you saw someone who didn't like what was going on. That says a lot.
And some of the horseplay stuff was acceptable in my family and even at school, and I even participated, but wrestling and pranks are not the same thing. Usually wrestling is a mutual agreement and by participating you give consent. Not the same thing with pranks. I don't see pranks as harmless. I don't even care for stupid shows like 'punk'd' and I avoid them. Maybe I'm too sensitive, but I guess I've had a lifetime of being ridiculed for being 'too sensitive' and it bothers me when I see people not empathizing with those who dislike pranks and putting the blame on THEM. Maybe it's a gender thing too - my dad had no use for 'girlie' things and was forever trying to toughen me up. Um, I'm a girl, I'm supposed to be 'girlie'. My brother seems to have a completely different view on how we were raised so maybe it just doesn't affect some people and maybe it is along gender lines. Or not. Maybe it was just me, but I went through so much of my life being invalidated about how I felt about the subtle emotional abuse I endured, and I'm just now recognizing a lot of it, that these kind of actions that are often couched in 'horseplay' or 'pranking' terms raise red flags with me. I think of red flags even more when it is someone in a position of power (a parent, or teacher or coach) who engages in those kinds of behaviors.
Like Mitt Romney.
I still think he's a bully. Even my dad wouldn't have gone so far as to shove my face in butter and he enjoyed humiliating us as much as anyone.