In the discussion thread: To the other women wondering where the good men are anymore, [View all]
Response to dawg (Reply #28)
Sun May 20, 2012, 01:27 PM
Chan790 (20,176 posts)
36. How to be awesome.
Actually it's advice for anybody: iconoclasm, edginess, confidence. Look at what you do, what the personal standards are, and push yourself closer to the edge. Stay this side of being a lout. Honor once lost, is never regained. Be honorable in all you do.
Don't grow sideburns, grow muttonchops. (Then shave them off after a week, they look like shit on anybody but Elvis and Civil-War officers...but first...grow them. They make anyone feel like a badass, note the feeling...that feeling, that swagger, it's what you're after.) Anything worth doing is worth doing bigger
Take fashionable risks. Wear narrower ties, complementary patterns, buy good dress shirts in non-standard colors. (Always own at-least one crisp pressed brightly-white dress shirt though.) Slimmer-cut designer suits. Do the things that you think: "I wish I could dress like that." I have a lawyer friend that wears Italian driving moccasins and Sperry Top-Siders to court among the wing-tip crowd. A casual shoe or sneaker in dresswear says "Fuck you. I'm impressive enough that I don't need to wear uncomfortable shoes for the likes of you." The richest most-powerful guy I know wears ratty plain-old Converse All-Stars with his suit; who the hell is going to tell him he can't?
Look good, feel good. Nobody loves a boring inactive slob. Do something daily that is fun and active. Shoot hoops. Play tennis against the side of the garage. Hell, chase the mailman barking your head off, it works for the dog. Find the one small bar in town that serves sangria and has a mariachi band with a dance floor. Not only will you get your exercise...the women tend to outnumber the men about 6:1...and it's better if you can't dance because they'll love to teach you. Personally, I've been needing to be taught how to dance for several years now and have rarely gone home alone.
Do interesting shit because you can. What's interesting? Who cares. Do things because they're there to be done and you might enjoy them. You might even meet someone else who does not suck while doing it. Perhaps at this very moment the next Mrs. dawg is preparing to run the length of Africa and you'll never meet her otherwise. Perhaps not, but if not at-least you've gotten an experience out of it.
One skill everybody needs to know is--How to be a conversationalist. It amazes me that nobody has this skill and so many people are daunted by it. "Hi, How are you?" "Fine. And you?" "I'm awesome. I just won an encyclopedia in an raffle." "Have you read anything interesting in the encyclopedia yet?" Really, is that hard? People dread having to talk to other people. If you can't have a conversation, there is no helping you. There's a great book on the subject, thankfully, called "The Art of Conversation" by Catherine Blyth.
Devise a mantra. Mine is: "What would Cary Grant do?" Of course the answer is always drink gin-drinks, engage in recreational-sex and look classy & stylish doing it...but it never hurts to ask the question. It's helped me discern that real men don't wear casual dress-pants with polo shirts unless they're golfing. Also, golf is a sport for men that want to dress like dorks. Also wit, charm and confidence excuse all manner of poor behavior. (except dishonor.)
Do what you do. We're all good at something; do the shit out of it. Look good doing it. Display no modesty whatsoever about what you're good at, but always in "bite-sized" portions. Accept praise humbly. Always acknowledge the contributions of others as central to your success.
Don't go to the dark side. Mid-life crises are for posers. Don't buy the sports car that screams "I have no self-confidence" when you drive it around in golfwear. Don't chase (wo)men half your age because you want to feel younger, chase (wo)men regardless of their age because they intrigue you. Don't pretend to be awesome, be awesome. Do or do not, there is no try.
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How to be awesome.
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