ROMNEY Announces Support For Corporations To Marry [View all]
ROMNEY Announces Support For Corporations To Marry
“Corporations are people, my friend. White people with nice hair and attractive shoes. They can propagate and multiply just as people do and as any businessperson can attest, they can screw multiple partners,” Romney explained. “Why should they be denied the same ability to get divorced and be paid alimony that other people have?”
Announcing his position at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, Romney went on to explain that gun manufacturing corporations should be allowed to have shotgun weddings, the energy industry deserves to have a nuclear family if they so choose and competing corporations should have the moral right to get into bed with each other.
When asked about Same State Corporation Marriage, Romney stated that he opposes it. “I believe in the absolute commitment to the ideals that marriage represents but depending upon what’s reflected in the latest polls, I can be flexible on that,” Romney smiled.
Romney also announced a new internet business he is launching that will be an online dating service for single corporations to meet other single corporations, with marriage in mind, called, “eHaromney”.