Reply #71

In the discussion thread: Can you really say that being a stay home Mother is a career? [View all]

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 06:08 PM

kiva (2,822 posts)

71. No.

It can be very hard work - or very easy work if you don't give a damn - but it isn't a job or a career.

You aren't hired for your ability to do the work, or your experience, or your education; your 'salary' isn't based on your own skills, but instead on the skills of your spouse to earn money; you are not required to develop many of the skills that are necessary for many jobs.

In short, women who do not have jobs/careers do not have the personal experience to discuss the subject in the way that Romney attributes to his wife.

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147 replies	Author	Time	Post
Can you really say that being a stay home Mother is a career? [View all]	trumad	Apr 2012	OP
I'm sure she had plenty of help, paid and otherwise, and never had to worry about	librechik	Apr 2012	#1
I'm sure she knows all about having plastic surgery, hiring nannies, telling the chef what to cook,	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#50
I suppose it works both ways.	Snake Alchemist	Apr 2012	#2
Well some have done both...	trumad	Apr 2012	#5
I've done both.	Maine-ah	Apr 2012	#8
I have done both.	HopeFor2006	Apr 2012	#22
I did both. I stayed home for 10 years raising the 3 kids. Then I went into the workforce.	CTyankee	Apr 2012	#76
Not working yet	laundry_queen	Apr 2012	#93
I would not consider it a working career either, but I like you know how damn tough it is. Unless	teddy51	Apr 2012	#3
I do view stay at home Mom as --	Hell Hath No Fury	Apr 2012	#4
agree. And stay at home parents	Bluerthanblue	Apr 2012	#14
That's precisely it. A stay-at-home mom provides experience for having another stay-at-home mom	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#39
since you've never been a stay-at-home mom	RainDog	Apr 2012	#102
How? For the same reason you don't have to jump from a 5-storey bldg to know it hurts	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#117
stay-at-home parents also do volunteer work	RainDog	Apr 2012	#130
That's different because that's not a family relationship. And you're right...	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#131
Give it up	joeglow3	Apr 2012	#133
good advice n/t	RainDog	Apr 2012	#136
If that is the case then the 92.3% of women losing jobs is BS	Bandit	Apr 2012	#6
I'm at work from 8-5, my wife is working from 8-5	snooper2	Apr 2012	#7
I suppose the one who could call it a career is the	asjr	Apr 2012	#9
Particularly NOT the Duggar woman, since she merely pops them out and her other kids care for them	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#46
How can someone knows what goes on in China unless they live there	The Straight Story	Apr 2012	#10
If "stay-at-home mom" is a career, what about a "stay-at-home wife?" Is that a career if you take	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#57
I did both	Happyhippychick	Apr 2012	#11
It's the hardest job in the world, but it's not a career. I decided not to have kids because it's	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#12
But if you list housekeeper, nanny, personal assistant and communty organizer	EFerrari	Apr 2012	#29
Yes. Cleaning houses, though, doesn't require a resume, and caring for children requires a degree	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#37
I know college instructors in the same boat.	EFerrari	Apr 2012	#42
College instructors have a degree, I suppose, and (one imagines) resume-worthy experience nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#54
4 loads of laundry a week and cooking	blueamy66	Apr 2012	#59
Of course! Doing 2 jobs is just hard. Too hard. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#62
True but Hillary Rosen should have been clear	malaise	Apr 2012	#13
If it is, then how do you climb the career ladder?	Ezlivin	Apr 2012	#15
definition	abelenkpe	Apr 2012	#16
It's a bit of a "dead end" career	Sheepshank	Apr 2012	#17
Kinda like "wife" or "husband," which have duties you can't use on a resume. They're important,	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#43
Do we really want to attack stay at home mothers?	former9thward	Apr 2012	#18
Nobody is attacking stay at home Mothers...	trumad	Apr 2012	#26
Except that is not what the quote was.	former9thward	Apr 2012	#28
No one is attacking stay-at-home mothers. I have LOTS of experience as a wife but is that resume-	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#40
No one was talking about resumes.	former9thward	Apr 2012	#75
It really wasn't a dumb statement. Republican shitheads know damned well what work is	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#99
If you consider familial duties a job, then every single thing in life is a job, no holds barred.nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#120
You are changing the quote.	former9thward	Apr 2012	#123
I didn't ignore the quote. She has never worked a job. Family tasks are not "work."	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#124
Not only does President Obama strongly disagree with you	former9thward	Apr 2012	#125
Obama is a gentle soul that often prefers to take the Gandhi way out of issues	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#132
Please define "work"	joeglow3	Apr 2012	#134
CERTAINLY NOT what we do normally for our relatives! nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#141
So, you make up your own definitions and then argue that THAT is correct	joeglow3	Apr 2012	#142
What do you mean? I said that relationships are not a job.	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#143
You are trying to interpret what was said	joeglow3	Apr 2012	#144
The semantics games are what really, really, really anger me most of all. This is a great example	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#146
Of course it is. Just because you weren't paid for it doesn't make it any less a career choice	Cleita	Apr 2012	#19
well said	Bluerthanblue	Apr 2012	#23
If I were a stay at home mom, I'd be insulted.	Iris	Apr 2012	#52
But, isn't raising children the most important thing a woman has to do?	Cleita	Apr 2012	#73
No	Iris	Apr 2012	#80
So what is it in your mind?	Cleita	Apr 2012	#81
Parents make mistakes all the time.	Iris	Apr 2012	#82
I did office work and often made mistakes, but my mistakes were fixable.	Cleita	Apr 2012	#87
Children are resilient.	Iris	Apr 2012	#89
You are just being ridiculous.	Cleita	Apr 2012	#91
I am not being ridiculous.	Iris	Apr 2012	#138
No wonder there are so many neglected and screwed up kids in the	Cleita	Apr 2012	#139
Exactly. When parents don't do their jobs lives are ruined. n/t	Mimosa	Apr 2012	#107
So, if raising children is the most important thing women do, what about you and me?	REP	Apr 2012	#115
But I'm wondering... if "being a mom" is a career, is "being a husband" a career? Is "being a wife"	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#55
If your sister or cousin comes by and cooks, cleans and does child care for you, yes	Cleita	Apr 2012	#72
Doing something to make money and a career are different	Iris	Apr 2012	#85
Housekeeping actually is a career.	Cleita	Apr 2012	#90
So only children can turn family duties into an official job? nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#100
You don't make sense. Please explain. n/t	Cleita	Apr 2012	#101
Being a mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, aunt, uncle, grandma are not careers. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#118
Uh... hell no. I've taken care of my family members and haven't charged one penny. That's love	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#119
Well said! /nt	October	Apr 2012	#98
As a father, here's my answer	Justice4allofus	Apr 2012	#20
I had a friend, who was a single mother, who said the same thing.	Cleita	Apr 2012	#31
Unless you're home-schooling or having a clown-car full of kids, it's not a long term career.	PassingFair	Apr 2012	#68
Yes it is. nt	Opportunityknocks	Apr 2012	#21
i started working at 12. stopped at 33. stay at home is not a career. a career killer.	seabeyond	Apr 2012	#24
I do have to agree. I have lots of experience as a wife, but I can't put that on a resume.	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#41
Ludicrous to claim that Ms Romney has anything in common	Permanut	Apr 2012	#25
Mitt has made her the expert in his campaign about job equality and pay...	trumad	Apr 2012	#27
That's F absurd nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#47
She's a rich woman, she's a rich daughter, a rich wife, a rich granddaughter, a rich mom, a rich	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#45
Yes I would say that.	proud2BlibKansan	Apr 2012	#30
I am a stay at home Dad. It is an honor, a sacrifice, an investment, and a luxury; but not a career.	MatthewStLouis	Apr 2012	#32
And a career generally lasts a lifetime.	Iris	Apr 2012	#56
Doing anything for family is always an honor, a sacrifice, and pretty cool. I love being an aunt to	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#61
Agreed. Too bad the quote was not that she has never had a career	joeglow3	Apr 2012	#135
Ann Romney was not a typical stay at home Mom.	Jennicut	Apr 2012	#33
Ann Romney was born in 1949.	lumberjack_jeff	Apr 2012	#34
wiki says she was largely invisible as a governor's wife	Generic Other	Apr 2012	#104
It's certainly not a career in the traditional sense of that word.	SheilaT	Apr 2012	#35
I can ...	GeorgeGist	Apr 2012	#36
What is wrong with being a stay-at-home mom	RebelOne	Apr 2012	#38
What's wrong with it? Nothing, but the discussion is not about that. lol nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Apr 2012	#44
Not a thing. What's wrong is how Ann is defining it -	Avalux	Apr 2012	#51
No. It's a job. But not a career.	Iris	Apr 2012	#48
Depends upon the situation	TBF	Apr 2012	#49
I believe it can be one of the most grueling jobs in my estimation	Broderick	Apr 2012	#53
then maybe you need to "rethink" how you are raising your kids	blueamy66	Apr 2012	#60
Naps with 3 and 4 year olds	Broderick	Apr 2012	#70
No, it's not a career....	blueamy66	Apr 2012	#58
I was a stay-at-hone mom for 3 years when my children were young.	RebelOne	Apr 2012	#63
Webster: "Career" (n)...	OneTenthofOnePercent	Apr 2012	#78
Yeah, I think it is.	H2O Man	Apr 2012	#64
All I know is that this should be handled very delicately.	DevonRex	Apr 2012	#65
I really did try and word my OP with that in mind.	trumad	Apr 2012	#67
I think you did a good job of it.	DevonRex	Apr 2012	#86
It is a job and there is a difference	quaker bill	Apr 2012	#66
The Kennedys are (were) wealthy	lillypaddle	Apr 2012	#69
Lillypaddle, I've been posting much the same. You nailed it.	Mimosa	Apr 2012	#108
No.	kiva	Apr 2012	#71
I can't believe all the feminists on this board, suddenly don't think the work that	Cleita	Apr 2012	#74
Working women work, even if that work is housework and child care	REP	Apr 2012	#116
If it is, then Octomom should be the CEO. n/t	lumberjack_jeff	Apr 2012	#77
Career, no.	ManiacJoe	Apr 2012	#79
Um, helloooo!! Is household cook or faithful family retainer a full time job?	Bruce Wayne	Apr 2012	#83
Yes...Indeed I think it's a Career!	KoKo	Apr 2012	#84
Mrs. Romney (and make no mistake - her only identity is as Mitt's wife)	baldguy	Apr 2012	#88
It was "Her Choice" in the time frame of the beliefs she grew up with as Mormon and	KoKo	Apr 2012	#94
There are millions of women who made the same choice - but didn't have the luxury of being rich	baldguy	Apr 2012	#96
Her Husband is the one running for President. I will not condemn her for her	KoKo	Apr 2012	#97
I don't	varelse	Apr 2012	#92
Boy, is this ever a lose lose argument.	Zax2me	Apr 2012	#95
Is he?	Mimosa	Apr 2012	#109
I think it's a lot of work. A lot of jobs we have are not necessarily careers, but they are jobs	La Lioness Priyanka	Apr 2012	#103
Taking care of my autistic child and my toddler is indeed work.	Butterbean	Apr 2012	#105
Welcome to DU!	greyl	Apr 2012	#106
Butterbean we're not all stupid.	Mimosa	Apr 2012	#110
I totally agree with you. Motherhood is a career choice. What you do is a full time plus plus job.	IndyJones	Apr 2012	#113
This autistic guy says welcome to DU!	Odin2005	Apr 2012	#121
Hey there, Odin. :) Nice to meet you.	Butterbean	Apr 2012	#137
Thanks!	Odin2005	Apr 2012	#140
no	greymattermom	Apr 2012	#111
This is such a nontroversy.	IndyJones	Apr 2012	#112
Mrs. Romney is out of touch.	Quantess	Apr 2012	#114
Yes, and fuck those who under value it-	BeHereNow	Apr 2012	#122
YES	cherokeeprogressive	Apr 2012	#126
I think attacking women's choices is a dead end. A toxic line of debate. nt	Romulox	Apr 2012	#127
Yes!	ananda	Apr 2012	#128
I guess I'm working two jobs, then	Sabriel	Apr 2012	#129
Not in a capitalist dominated society	marshall	Apr 2012	#145
Please Note, I am taling tongue in cheek	Xyzse	Apr 2012	#147

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