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(108,903 posts) Mon Aug 25, 2014, 08:25 AM Aug 2014

Men Who Make Virginity Pledges Struggle with Sex Once Married [View all]

http://www.livescience.com/47431-virginity-pledging-men-sexually-confused.html

?1408449233

SAN FRANCISCO — Men who make virginity pledges get strong social support to abstain from sex before the wedding night, but that backing disappears soon after they tie the knot, new research suggests.

These men are also taught to think of sex outside of marriage as animalistic and foul, but sacred within a marriage, according to a new study presented Aug. 17, here at the 109th American Sociological Association meeting.

As a result, male virginity pledgers can be somewhat confused and lost when it comes to sex after marriage, said study researcher Sarah Diefendorf, a sociology doctoral candidate at the University of Washington in Seattle. [The 10 Most Surprising Sex Statistics]

"They spend the first 20-something years of their lives being told that sex is wrong," Diefendorf told Live Science. "They're expected to make this transition from the beastly to the sacred, but they don't really have the tools to be able to do that effectively."

85 replies

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Highlight:

Men Who Make Virginity Pledges Struggle with Sex Once Married [View all] xchrom Aug 2014 OP

It's dirty! It's beautiful! You need to avoid it! You need it to affirm your status! ck4829 Aug 2014 #1

Bingo! Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #19

Such an elegant, pithy and accurate analysis hifiguy Aug 2014 #34

Doesn't surprise me Prophet 451 Aug 2014 #2

Could work both ways I suppose yeoman6987 Aug 2014 #5

It only takes one time, if "the boys can swim" and the "lady-parts" are fertile! bullwinkle428 Aug 2014 #11

Pregnant or not ... I would think the main thing is = are they happy? Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #18

True. They do. yeoman6987 Aug 2014 #25

Probably not GOOD sex Prophet 451 Aug 2014 #21

Just tell your kids that sex is dirty and they should LuvNewcastle Aug 2014 #3

Do we not live in a stupid ass world or what? madokie Aug 2014 #4

Thumbs up. Heidi Aug 2014 #9

Good morning to you madokie Aug 2014 #13

Good! Heidi Aug 2014 #17

Oh, the humor... 3catwoman3 Aug 2014 #6

I call BS treestar Aug 2014 #7

Everybody was a virgin once. I would think a couple would enjoy learning each other and Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #16

Those are good points. But I think the problem is more Ilsa Aug 2014 #20

All that is germaine to this topic and should be explored and discussed by those who find it Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #22

Today's fundies may be a separate class treestar Aug 2014 #43

I don't think it's the average Christian having this type of problem Ilsa Aug 2014 #50

the study isn't about Christianity, but rather "purity culture" fishwax Aug 2014 #82

You are right on Tuesday. Puzzledtraveller Aug 2014 #28

Are you implying that all the the people who were/are not subject to the control, and Zorra Aug 2014 #23

No all I said was that people who choose to wait treestar Aug 2014 #41

well if you dont behave like the rest of us Puzzledtraveller Aug 2014 #27

It appears to be a peer reviewed study. I'll see if I can find out more. nt stevenleser Aug 2014 #33

You call BS on a peer reviewed sociology study Taitertots Aug 2014 #38

I'm sure they can make it come out however they want to treestar Aug 2014 #42

The idea that they can make it say whatever they want is foolish Taitertots Aug 2014 #44

The scientific method and peer review hifiguy Aug 2014 #58

Who else scoffs at the scientific method and peer-reviewed studies? bullwinkle428 Aug 2014 #62

It happens here more than you would ever expect. hifiguy Aug 2014 #65

Not in a peer reviewed study. Peer review is when other scientists in the field review it and try to stevenleser Aug 2014 #71

Being taught it is wrong outside of marriage is a recipe for crappy or hasty marriages IMHO. Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #74

It seems to me the LiveScience headline is misleading muriel_volestrangler Aug 2014 #67

No wonder the women don't like sex, either, after all the brainwashing. Manifestor_of_Light Aug 2014 #68

SO "peer" review studies are right... whistler162 Aug 2014 #76

Overwhelmingly, yes. Every single time? No. But "I call BS" is not an adequate refutation. nt stevenleser Aug 2014 #81

The "sexual purity" movement is a relatively recent thing NickB79 Aug 2014 #49

People had fucked up ideas about sex before too. LeftyMom Aug 2014 #70

Yeah, and people widely didn't abstain before marriage before the "sexual revolution", too. Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #73

I would guess they are extremely boring lovers. Quantess Aug 2014 #8

Lol! RiffRandell Aug 2014 #14

Not just boring. Very screwed-up. GliderGuider Aug 2014 #15

Just like women before the sexual revolution were raised! nt valerief Aug 2014 #10

That is a really excellent and spot-on point. hifiguy Aug 2014 #32

shown how to feel good and told to feel bad seveneyes Aug 2014 #12

Men who make virginity pledges sunnystarr Aug 2014 #24

What about women who make virginity pledges? kath Aug 2014 #30

My granddaughter actually made one sunnystarr Aug 2014 #40

might it also do the same for men? fishwax Aug 2014 #84

A lot of men who make those pledges don't have a choice jmowreader Aug 2014 #64

Virginity as purity is a big lie that hurts people... Orsino Aug 2014 #26

+1 fishwax Aug 2014 #85

Sex is dirty and disgusting and you should share it only with the person you love. Brickbat Aug 2014 #29

But even then, isn't sexual pleasure sinful? Quantess Aug 2014 #45

Hole in the sheet, for procreation only. hifiguy Aug 2014 #48

Ahem... at least christian extremists don't cut off all external female genitalia Quantess Aug 2014 #59

That is truly one of the horrors of the world. hifiguy Aug 2014 #60

If it's not dirty and disgusting I'm just Codeine Aug 2014 #51

I hear that. Brickbat Aug 2014 #57

Like the old joke... sendero Aug 2014 #78

Stovepiping crazy shit into people's heads hifiguy Aug 2014 #31

The issue here is not, they remained a virgin until marriage = Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #35

I think this is probably the case for both male and female Marrah_G Aug 2014 #36

Good for them. More sex for us dirty, animalistic fornicators LittleBlue Aug 2014 #37

Right, because supply is inelastic BainsBane Aug 2014 #39

Is that your idea of raunchy humor? Quantess Aug 2014 #46

Its hip hop Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #75

"Virginity pledges" make even less sense in a society where people marry later! LongTomH Aug 2014 #47

"Sex is shameful, gross, and disgusting, meant only for the most special person in your life!" arcane1 Aug 2014 #52

In other news... water is wet... tonight at 11... Triple_Threat Aug 2014 #53

Here's an article on the same subject told from locdlib Aug 2014 #54

That is a terribly sad story. hifiguy Aug 2014 #61

Purity balls with mommy oughta do the trick Blue Owl Aug 2014 #55

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!11 NT xchrom Aug 2014 #56

Quelle surprise n/t War Horse Aug 2014 #63

Our whole society told us sex was dirty and nasty in the 1960s and 70s. Manifestor_of_Light Aug 2014 #66

geee, ya think????? niyad Aug 2014 #69

Color me shocked. Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #72

Gotta love these psuedo-science "studies" whistler162 Aug 2014 #77

Yeah, well... This right here is some pretty damning proof: Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #83

Not Buying It ProfessorGAC Aug 2014 #79

I will wait too read the study that whistler162 Aug 2014 #80