and that goes for all communities. But yes, reaching out and creating coalitions is vital and if that worked in New Jersey I'm sure it can work elsewhere. But, as I noted above, the problem is not blacks vs gays it is the rightwing churches (both black and white) vs gays. I don't think we can point to one state and extrapolate that it is one church community more than another that influenced the result from a nationwide perspective. Each state that passed one of these monstrous laws or amendments has its own tortured history, some of them different from what you experienced in New Jersey.
It is also difficult to build coalitions with people whose prejudices and fanatical belief systems are so ingrained that they believe in the "pray away the gay" syndrome.
And again, the people left behind, in the dust, in many of these divisive campaigns are both LGBT people of color and LGBT people of faith.