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Response to Recursion (Original post)

Wed Nov 6, 2013, 01:12 PM

73. Three male survivors have opened up to me

One was sexually abused as a child by his mother. The other two were abused by domestic partners (one male, one female, if anyone's interested). The wounds were deep and barely scabbed over.

I think the main problem male survivors face is that they're so greatly outnumbered by female survivors that they tend to get lost in a lot of discussions. Yes, you guys are out there and yes, the abuse leaves men just as shattered as it does women.

Men also suffer disproportionately because "why didn't you leave?" brings up the fact that since men are better paid and physically stronger, they're somehow more responsible for all the abuse that happened after the first incident. That ignores the bonds they have to the children who would go to the abuser in a divorce and the power of the honeymoon phase in the cycle of abuse to suck them back into a sick relationship.

The betrayal of trust and the manipulation within the relationship are the same, however. It's really too bad that some people bring up the fact that about 10% of abuse survivors are men to somehow diminish the abuse that the 90% of survivors who are women endure.

Women who leave abusers face poverty. Men who leave face loneliness and scorn. Both these things should be a source of deep shame in this culture.

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Recursion Nov 2013 OP
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LineReply Three male survivors have opened up to me
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