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In reply to the discussion: Bill Clinton, STFU [View all]DonCoquixote
(13,616 posts)First off, as someone who has had friends that were victims of "funny uncles", I do NOT take that sort of image lightly. If there are any victims of such abuse out there, please know that I mean do disrespect.
That being said, here is why I use and stand by that image.
When you have family, you have a reasonable expectation that, if they are not going to help you, they at least are not going to hurt you. When you scream and say "please stop that, it hurts" you expect them to stop, and listen. Yes, relatives sometimes do have the nasty job of having to take you to the dentist (which hurts) or tell you they cannot buy that thing you really deserved, but there is a trust that says that they will do what they can to protect you, and help you when fortunes swing their way.
Then there are abusive members, the ones that take advantage of the fact you need them. They will always recall every favor you did for them, so that when they try to hurt you, they pull out the "you owe me" crap, very much like the Clintons do every damned election! What hurts is, no matter how much they say they are sorry, no matter how well they sing whatever tune you want to hear, whatever tune the doctor or judge wants them to sing, you know that the minute you are prone, they will abuse you, AGAIN! What is worse is that they will guilt trip you not just for trying to hold them accountable, but for even speaking up. What hurts is not just the fact that they know they are going to abuse you, but that they do not even think it is wrong, that you are somehow derelict in your duty as the lower level for not wanting to give them everything they want, exactly how they want it, and right fucking now!
Of course, where does that leave the victim; scared, used, angry, hurt. Frankly, that is where we are now. We want to believe that our family members can give up the abuse, that we can get to a point where we can trust them, but we know we cannot, and we cannot entrust our children to them.
Do not get me wrong, if Hillary were to for once show an actual disagreement with her husband, especially for the sake of a liberal cause, I would dance. Hell, I would settle for getting glass-steagall back. And yes, as much as I would love to think a third party vote would send a message, I still remember the lessons I learned in 2000 where people I thought were leftist not only blew smoke in my face, but bragged to the local news in Tampa how they convinced liberals to stay home. I have no illusions about being able to care, or be cared for, but I can work bit by bit towards the inevitable point where the abusers either get it and repent, or, till they finally get old and die, and you go to the funeral regretting that the person that hurt you not only never got it, but that they wasted their lives, and a whole lot of yours.