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Locut0s

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209. As a great 31 year old male virgin not by choice I wish i had a pill to turn off my sex drive..

Reply to leftyladyfrommo (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2013, 09:59 PM

May 2013

I know women don't want to be viewed as sex objects nor should they. Women should be accorded as much respect and equality as any man. But it ain't easy being a man either. We certainly can control ourselves and anyone why says otherwise is just justifying sexual abuse, but we can't really control our thoughts, and immediate mental reactions of sexual attraction. The old saying that a guy thinks about sex every X # of seconds is a bit of an exaggeration to be sure but it's not a huge one. I'm a 31 virgin male not by choice, I have life long depression and social anxiety that has made it very difficult for me socially. I have few male friends let alone female. Nothing's taking away my sexual drive though, which makes my situation all the worse. I'd actually welcome a pill to reduce my libido. Actually some of the SSRI medication I've taken has had this effect.

I don't want everything to be about sex either but my body doesn't seem to listen to my brain on this issue and quite frankly if I was able to have semi regular sex I don't think I would want such a pill, as I would cherish my sexuality in that case. I can see quite a few women here do too, which is no surprise.

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Women: I have a sex question. [View all] leftyladyfrommo May 2013 OP

It depends. Brickbat May 2013 #1

I think it is kind of a viagra for women. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #2

Yeah, if it's a Viagra-like thing that increases blood flow to the genital area and does whatever Brickbat May 2013 #6

I have it on good authority that . . . brush May 2013 #72

You don't enjoy sex? ...nt TeeYiYi May 2013 #3

Honestly? I'm sick of this everything being about sex. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #8

I really would like to be able to have a conversation with a man leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #10

But that's what DemocraticUndergound is for! randome May 2013 #13

I have a couple of straight male friends. HappyMe May 2013 #14

Less complicated, too... pipi_k May 2013 #29

Gay guys talk about sex just as much as straight men n/t FreeState May 2013 #85

POh, I know. But it's different talking about it when leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #88

I have lots of male friends and never feel any sexual overtones in our conversations. sabrina 1 May 2013 #128

in what way are you constantly aware of sexual overtones? hfojvt May 2013 #19

because with many people, you are forced to acknowledge them and turn them down..... bettyellen May 2013 #31

I am trying to empathize hfojvt May 2013 #36

Some men are overly persistent BainsBane May 2013 #94

has it occured to you how dismissive you are of other people's concerns? i have yet to bettyellen May 2013 #97

+++ Starry Messenger May 2013 #116

I'm trying to be kind about it. But to hear the incessant complaints and not one real word of bettyellen May 2013 #118

The other poster's point boils down to "the grass is always greener." Threedifferentones May 2013 #160

actually, lots of guys keep trying, needling away. I'm really good at ignoring them, but I know it bettyellen May 2013 #173

I said I tried, didn't I? hfojvt May 2013 #129

I never said repulsive, but your hostility IS pretty darned off putting. As is your complete bettyellen May 2013 #171

Awesome!! Sheldon Cooper May 2013 #182

Big boys don't cry. Laelth May 2013 #216

The poster ignores and dismisses others out of hand. bettyellen May 2013 #219

A counterpoint... Chan790 May 2013 #102

Do you really have people trying to force friendship on you? That's sort of bizarre! I don't find bettyellen May 2013 #107

Amen to that--"some people don't interact with others unless there's something in it for them"nt raccoon May 2013 #114

most. maybe all. HiPointDem May 2013 #131

I think people find me odd because I just like listening to people. Love when they share stories and bettyellen May 2013 #172

then you get something out of it. that's my point. HiPointDem May 2013 #208

True- but they do too, usually. bettyellen May 2013 #220

yes. which proves the point. most (all?) people don't associate with people unless HiPointDem May 2013 #236

I'm perplexed by the idea that anyone could be attracted to someone they don't like. redqueen May 2013 #191

Oh I can. Usually not assholes, but occasionally people I could care less about or mesh with can bettyellen May 2013 #195

Oh well yeah, I can find them attractive... I just could never actually want to have sex with them. redqueen May 2013 #196

I'm talking about wanting to have sex with them, but kinda knowing it's only about some weird spark bettyellen May 2013 #197

I have a little problem with that too. smirkymonkey May 2013 #174

I'm too nice. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #189

Same here, and I'm not even that friendly n00b May 2013 #198

Welcome to DU my friend! hrmjustin May 2013 #200

Thanks! n00b May 2013 #202

No Not at all! I am part of the welcome wagon. After 10 posts you will be able to start you own hrmjustin May 2013 #203

And then you turn 60 and become invisible. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #231

Flip side Thor_MN May 2013 #218

Doesn't she know that management complained? Your manager or someone should have explained this bettyellen May 2013 #225

That situation would make me very uncomfortable. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #232

Amen... PasadenaTrudy May 2013 #150

There is definitely a good side to that. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #163

Yes. Yes I would and this is why. Le Taz Hot May 2013 #4

Look into testosterone shots... TeeYiYi May 2013 #18

will I grow a beard? Rosa Luxemburg May 2013 #204

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2013 #24

Indeed. Thank you for sharing this as it seems more common than people talk about. uppityperson May 2013 #43

56 and no saggy butt here Skittles May 2013 #59

hate to tell you, but that's what i thought until i hit 58. the quality of the fat changes & HiPointDem May 2013 #132

I can pick up barbells with my butt. It was just a phrase indicating humor about my body. uppityperson May 2013 #133

Wish I could rec your post kdmorris May 2013 #57

Yes, but unless you married a man much younger than you, he is having some of the exact same issues. retread May 2013 #69

I did. Le Taz Hot May 2013 #90

Well said. TheOther95Percent May 2013 #80

Good post. nt raccoon May 2013 #115

^this Marrah_G May 2013 #175

To be fair, there should be a pill that makes men more interested in sex! immoderate May 2013 #5

Well there kind of is. sibelian May 2013 #82

No. LWolf May 2013 #7

I don't know. HappyMe May 2013 #9

God no Aerows May 2013 #11

Sex SamKnause May 2013 #12

It depends on the woman. Sometimes changing hormonal levels decrease interest in sex to minimal uppityperson May 2013 #45

I agree, I am in my late fifties and have not lost interest in sex. A pill is not required. Nika May 2013 #56

instead of a pill, I think women would like men who are attractive to them. Whisp May 2013 #15

Or a woman that is likewise attractive Aerows May 2013 #37

I'd settle for someone interested in me, regardless of looks. alarimer May 2013 #124

i wish we could trade. i'm not much interested in sex & would like to have a male friend who HiPointDem May 2013 #134

Winner! Lydia Leftcoast May 2013 #214

That is such a disgusting phrase. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #233

Frigid doesn't mean "uninterested in sex" Lydia Leftcoast May 2013 #238

Nope. redqueen May 2013 #16

If it is safe and it is the woman's own choice I'm ok with it. davsand May 2013 #17

It depends. There are lots of women who feel they are missing out on something,... Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #20

Doesn't sound to me like the women you're describing have a problem with becoming aroused. redqueen May 2013 #22

I'm a guy who has had lots of female friends my whole life... Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #25

No. redqueen May 2013 #27

It's getting to that point that's the problem... Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #35

Yes, many people of both sexes are conditioned to think all kinds of things, redqueen May 2013 #39

Not every woman feels the same Aerows May 2013 #47

I'm struggling to understand what that has to do with what I said... redqueen May 2013 #48

Uh, well Aerows May 2013 #49

Could you quote the condescending part? redqueen May 2013 #50

The funny thing Aerows May 2013 #52

So... no? redqueen May 2013 #55

LOL Aerows May 2013 #60

"Honey"... "It's always the blindest that cannot see." redqueen May 2013 #61

You and I Aerows May 2013 #62

This thread is about medical treatment for low libido in women. redqueen May 2013 #64

An attitude can never be condescending Aerows May 2013 #65

"An attitude can never be condescending" ??? redqueen May 2013 #68

CORRECT Skittles May 2013 #76

"Some feminists are lesbians, and we are very open minded about having sex with women." Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #103

I didn't see the "picked as their role model" Aerows May 2013 #106

Bingo. It's when you give up fear that you are free... Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #119

Precisely Aerows May 2013 #120

The old "comfortable in your own skin" thing is rare. Spitfire of ATJ May 2013 #121

I guess a pill of this sort could have a double function, KitSileya May 2013 #147

"autonimic nervous system" Schema Thing May 2013 #38

LOL redqueen May 2013 #40

LOL Schema Thing May 2013 #46

Last sentence..... abelenkpe May 2013 #28

I suspect that is a result of past abuse BainsBane May 2013 #96

I think so too Aerows May 2013 #110

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2013 #21

I suppose that being married, I would if I lost all interest Nikia May 2013 #23

With two kids, including a nursing infant, and working on top of that, Sheldon Cooper May 2013 #63

I so empathize with this. redqueen May 2013 #66

It might be kind of fun for the hubby & me, I admit my sex drive is not what it used to be..... peacebird May 2013 #26

If there were a pill... pipi_k May 2013 #30

Loss of libido is a pretty common side effect of SSRIs. winter is coming May 2013 #32

i might. it might be fun. La Lioness Priyanka May 2013 #33

I love hot chicks! Botany May 2013 #34

I'm pretty carnal Aerows May 2013 #41

I like those hot chicks. HappyMe May 2013 #44

DUzy nt longship May 2013 #58

Agreed - DUzy n/t Aerows May 2013 #70

As a male, I've often wished for a pill that would turn off libido Schema Thing May 2013 #42

No. I wouldn't take it. BlueCaliDem May 2013 #51

I would not be interested in a pill like this Nika May 2013 #53

See, that ws my first reaction, too. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #83

If there was something physically wrong, sure LadyHawkAZ May 2013 #54

exactly, it's a medical issue BainsBane May 2013 #98

On balance, I think it's a good thing. LadyHawkAZ May 2013 #130

Hell yeah! bunnies May 2013 #67

Sex is over rated. I could never understand why some people, male and female, darkangel218 May 2013 #71

There are lots of asexual people, even. redqueen May 2013 #91

What do you mean by universally erased? not taken into consideration? darkangel218 May 2013 #92

Almost entirely ignored. redqueen May 2013 #151

I know, im encountering this on.daily basis. darkangel218 May 2013 #155

They certainly aren't a part of popular culture, that's for sure. KitSileya May 2013 #149

Yes, even just people with low sex drives... just ignored, or worse, pathologized. redqueen May 2013 #152

My guess is that if a pill like the one suggested in the OP is manufactured, KitSileya May 2013 #154

They better never make a pill. redqueen May 2013 #157

See, that's what I thought, too. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #190

No; I love sex and view it as a gift, and as a way of attaining and giving pleasure. Zorra May 2013 #73

For me, a pill to increase my interest in sex might induce uncontrollable nymphomania. Botany May 2013 #75

Sorry to disappoint you, darlin', but Zorra May 2013 #78

botany = dumb Botany May 2013 #89

Hormone Replacement Therapy. Zorra May 2013 #100

Me too Aerows May 2013 #84

Right on. sister Zorra! Kath1 May 2013 #215

I can think of a lot of women in otherwise stable relationships Warpy May 2013 #74

what is this invisibility cloak? Skittles May 2013 #77

I'm not invisible either. HappyMe May 2013 #81

You Go, Girl. n/t leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #87

It's what drops over 99.99% of us Warpy May 2013 #108

goldie hawn? nah, she just has good plastic surgery. lots of it. and starting to be less HiPointDem May 2013 #135

Well, she's my age, it had to catch up with her sooner or later Warpy May 2013 #166

I get more attention at age 51 than in my 20's fitman May 2013 #167

I too am very fit Skittles May 2013 #206

FYI: sorta flirting, generally means being a nice (instead of rude) person... many of us are rude bettyellen May 2013 #229

Yep, I am in my late 40's, but the only men that seem to smirkymonkey May 2013 #177

My wife is 52 and no wrinkles fitman May 2013 #217

I'm 40 Aerows May 2013 #181

Unfortunately, that's pretty true. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #86

As a 20-something, there are women over 50 that I find physically attractive Hippo_Tron May 2013 #211

In France, they'd call you normal. Warpy May 2013 #212

I would be very uncomfortable dating someone a lot younger. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #234

I fucking love sex. Don't need a pill... cynatnite May 2013 #79

Count me in! Kath1 May 2013 #138

Happy Birthday! cynatnite May 2013 #142

Thank you so much, cynatnite! Kath1 May 2013 #213

Just turned 61 and still enjoy sex. unapatriciated May 2013 #226

Why do you assume women aren't interested in sex BainsBane May 2013 #93

The OP said it was from some study. nt Raine May 2013 #99

NO way. nt Raine May 2013 #95

Probably not notadmblnd May 2013 #101

Yes. Good sex can be hard to find. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #188

Men: if there were a pill that made you interested in things other than sex, would you take it? BlueStreak May 2013 #104

i'd like to hear the answers to that one. HiPointDem May 2013 #136

(crickets) BlueStreak May 2013 #139

try it as an OP hfojvt May 2013 #165

My point was ... BlueStreak May 2013 #169

Thank god! A man with interesting interests! smirkymonkey May 2013 #180

maybe they just have more interesting jobs hfojvt May 2013 #199

You mean, lessen my sex drive? LittleBlue May 2013 #153

I AM interested in other things rather than sex....... socialist_n_TN May 2013 #230

Last time I organized a socialist convention, a sex orgy broke out. BlueStreak May 2013 #235

If I lost interest in sex, I'd most definitely take a pill in order to reestablish the interest. Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #105

Good for you Aerows May 2013 #109

Perhaps those are exactly the women who need a pill like this most? Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #111

Some don't Aerows May 2013 #112

"having a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle" - this language erases asexual people redqueen May 2013 #140

Okay. The one percent of the population that is asexual are all happy and fulfilled. Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #144

I agree. redqueen May 2013 #145

Exactly. Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #146

These creams have been on the market for years now. I doubt one woman venting will dent their sales. redqueen May 2013 #148

I don't think it's so absured. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #192

I don't believe a pill that would enhance or reactivate a woman's libido Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #194

That seems obvious right? Having a sex drive doesnt mean you will have sex with anyone who asks stevenleser May 2013 #223

What seems obvious to you and me appears to escape some others. Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #224

You sure are right about that. It's really bizarre stevenleser May 2013 #227

***Some seem to be saying women shouldn't be allowed to choose whether they have this or not.*** Sekhmets Daughter May 2013 #228

But sex is a primary biological drive, as basic as hunger and thirst... Locut0s May 2013 #210

What the hell does it have to do with "hot chick" BS? idwiyo May 2013 #113

this reminds me of the "spurious" spanish fly ads in 1970s porno mags we arely staircase May 2013 #117

Very few women I have dated were not interested in sex madville May 2013 #122

Never treestar May 2013 #123

It depends on the side effects. Ilsa May 2013 #125

"My main goal in life certainly isn't to be a hot chick." Kath1 May 2013 #126

If I got any more interested ohheckyeah May 2013 #127

I have been a sex fiend since I was in my teens-nothing has changed! Except.. dorkzilla May 2013 #137

No, sexually aggressive women are not using it as a bargaining chip... WTF? redqueen May 2013 #141

I only meant MY girlfriends were using it that way dorkzilla May 2013 #159

Ohhhh yeah... gotcha. redqueen May 2013 #161

LOL! Could be! I'm from NY so we tend to be more aggressive anyway ;) dorkzilla May 2013 #170

Ha, I can't do subtle. redqueen May 2013 #193

I long ago learned to just accept whatever people want to do without judging lunatica May 2013 #143

Sex is part of a relationship. So if I had a problem, w/no intrst in sex... Honeycombe8 May 2013 #156

The "Magic Pill?" is a man good at sex. alphafemale May 2013 #158

+1 CountAllVotes May 2013 #207

I have an idea... pink-o May 2013 #162

I wish I had known a lot of things when I was younger. leftyladyfrommo May 2013 #164

First I'd see a doctor ismnotwasm May 2013 #168

I assumed this would be a prescription drug Marrah_G May 2013 #176

I'm 67 and have a healthy sex drive tavernier May 2013 #178

Oh yes, Alan Rickman would do it. smirkymonkey May 2013 #183

I suspect we'd have great conversations tavernier May 2013 #184

I don't need a pill to make me less interested. Jennicut May 2013 #179

I'm 63. Let me think about it. :-) WinkyDink May 2013 #185

Depends on how it works with whatever caused the loss of desire. aquart May 2013 #186

You might want to up your B vitamins. Especially B-12. aquart May 2013 #187

It depends on if you want more interest in it. Lady Freedom Returns May 2013 #201

My job makes me feel like a dead weed Rosa Luxemburg May 2013 #205

As a great 31 year old male virgin not by choice I wish i had a pill to turn off my sex drive.. Locut0s May 2013 #209

I LOVE sex! Sissyk May 2013 #221

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2013 #222

If I lost interest in sex without a good reason, yes. In_The_Wind May 2013 #237

To answer your question bluntly... Jasana May 2013 #239