General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Ensler thread has me asking again: Why do so many women passively accept patriarchy? And more! [View all]hfojvt
(37,573 posts)so, again, look at the alternative - single mom picking up after and taking care of two kids versus married mom picking up after and taking care of three kids (LOL, as the standard joke goes). I still say the husband is a net positive - even if he only cuts the grass and takes out the trash. And he is probably doing other things that do not get counted. If I go out and play football with my sons in the back yard, in one sense that is not work, but in another sense, it is child care. Plus, the extra income is a positive.
But then look at house cleaning. As a single guy, I do all of my own housecleaning, but I don't do it very often or very well. It is not that important to me to have a tidy house. Now as a married guy, I would certainly be happy to do the same amount of housecleaning, or even a bit more, than I do as a single guy. But chances are very good, that my poor spouse would be unable to tolerate the level of slovenliness that I do, and thus would be cleaning up my messes before I could (or would) get to them. The same might easily be true of the laundry. She would get tired of looking at my piles of dirty clothes. Thus, at least in my imagination, unless I can find another lazy slob to marry, she might be doing much more of the housecleaning and laundry than I am, but those would be HER OWN choices to do so, not choices that I am imposing on her.
I gotta say though, in my defense, that I am a helpful sort of person. A few times I have been staying with my married friends and the wife says "go get the dog" and the husband wants to play "rock, paper, scissors" to see who has to get the dog. Whereas I, even as a guest, do not mind making myself useful by doing a simple task.