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nessa

(317 posts)
21. Send the photos.
Fri Feb 8, 2013, 07:50 PM
Feb 2013

I lost a child (he was 7) and I love finding pictures of him that I have never seen before. I have pictures that I look at and they never change. He is always the same. There are never any new images because he's not here. It's wonderful to find something of him that I have not seen before.

Now, no two bereaved moms are alike. My child was so young, there were never any hard feelings for anyone associated with him. I can't say how his mom will feel, but I bet she will be thrilled with the pictures.

As far as tearing someone apart, that reminds me of Elizabeth Edwards quote

"Don't avoid talking about the child because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died, they didn't forget they died. You're not reminding them. What you're reminding them of is that you remember that they lived, and that's a great, great gift.'

Don, send her the photos Fresh_Start Feb 2013 #1
If you are ready to let go, send the pictures. Warpy Feb 2013 #2
I don't think it's an 'either-or' type of thing htuttle Feb 2013 #3
Make copies. enlightenment Feb 2013 #4
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend and what he went through. polly7 Feb 2013 #5
I knew this post was gonna stir up some feelings. DonRedwood Feb 2013 #13
You're a very good, kind person. polly7 Feb 2013 #26
Since I can't hug you DonRedwood Feb 2013 #34
Thank you so much, I hope you have a good weekend as well. nt. polly7 Feb 2013 #68
Send them. easttexaslefty Feb 2013 #6
Hey East Texas DonRedwood Feb 2013 #25
Since I can't hug you, I'm sending you a heart! DonRedwood Feb 2013 #32
Thank you very much easttexaslefty Feb 2013 #63
I lost my son in 1988. If someone were to send me pictures of him appleannie1 Feb 2013 #7
My best friend died in 1982 DonRedwood Feb 2013 #30
He was her son and my husband... ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #8
*tears* Melinda Feb 2013 #40
He was the best thing that ever happened in my life. ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #75
I will send them for sure. DonRedwood Feb 2013 #45
Thank you DonR--that's so sweet of you. ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #76
... SammyWinstonJack Feb 2013 #51
SWJ-- ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #77
Does his brother have children? DURHAM D Feb 2013 #9
I think if it were me I would make copies of the pictures you have of her son. Let southernyankeebelle Feb 2013 #10
This is very good advice. Forgiveness is so important, helps one to heal. Mnemosyne Feb 2013 #20
always forgive DonRedwood Feb 2013 #27
I have a 'forgive' bumpersticker and hope it reminds others, as much as it does me, when seen. Mnemosyne Feb 2013 #39
I would have copies made so you can retain arthritisR_US Feb 2013 #11
IMO her apology to you justifies something from you; elleng Feb 2013 #12
Not only will she love the photos malaise Feb 2013 #14
thank you for the love you give don. here is the thing. you sending those pictures to the mom, seabeyond Feb 2013 #15
Best to just let it go. If her memories are good ones, they should suffice and if not, flyover22 Feb 2013 #16
Not sure if I'm qualified to respond - lynne Feb 2013 #17
Send them...and something else. You write beautifully. Add either inscriptions of where JanMichael Feb 2013 #18
Send them to her. As the years go by one locks that pain Autumn Feb 2013 #19
Send the photos. nessa Feb 2013 #21
seven years old... oh, that is so sad renate Feb 2013 #59
Thank you for the hug. nessa Feb 2013 #60
Hello on this snowy day DonRedwood Feb 2013 #64
You should send them libodem Feb 2013 #22
I buried a daughter 3 years ago.... Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #23
I'm so very sorry for your loss...good advice. alittlelark Feb 2013 #57
Very sorry to hear about your daughter DonRedwood Feb 2013 #65
Thank you for your kind words... Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #66
I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Sissyk Feb 2013 #24
I think the pictures will break their hearts, and they will love them. Why not give her a call first robinlynne Feb 2013 #28
I like that idea marions ghost Feb 2013 #73
I'm a mom. I'd want the photos, even if Ilsa Feb 2013 #29
Please send them! babylonsister Feb 2013 #31
Make digital copies and send her the photos you found rustydog Feb 2013 #33
Send her the pictures. badhair77 Feb 2013 #35
Send them. rug Feb 2013 #36
Send the pics, Don...she will appreciate it very much. nt. OldDem2012 Feb 2013 #37
I have a dear friend mercuryblues Feb 2013 #38
If I could make a small suggestion, write first and Arkansas Granny Feb 2013 #41
Put the photos in an envelope, then enclose them in another envelope with a cover letter. Plaid Adder Feb 2013 #42
Thank you so much for your story, Walter! NealK Feb 2013 #43
Send them. Sadiedog Feb 2013 #44
Welcome to DU Sadiedog DonRedwood Feb 2013 #46
I think you are a kind and gentle soul. Sadiedog Feb 2013 #78
call her first. That will stop the shock. series of envelopes creates more robinlynne Feb 2013 #79
Please... pipi_k Feb 2013 #47
A hug and a valentine heart to you DonRedwood Feb 2013 #49
Thank you pipi_k Feb 2013 #61
I absolutely concur...send them with your loving memories... namaste2 Feb 2013 #48
21 is so young DonRedwood Feb 2013 #67
I'd say send them. The pain is there, and this may well give some joy as well. nolabear Feb 2013 #50
Scan the photos so you have digital copies and mail them to your friend's mom. Jenoch Feb 2013 #52
Can't hug ya so here is a heart! DonRedwood Feb 2013 #69
To answer your question(s)....... socialist_n_TN Feb 2013 #53
She wrote to you and apologized. But even if she had not -- send the photos Hekate Feb 2013 #54
Grieving mom here... astonamous Feb 2013 #55
Hey there DonRedwood Feb 2013 #70
Thank you for my heart, from my heart. astonamous Feb 2013 #72
Whatever you decide... 1983law Feb 2013 #56
I lost my son to cystic fibrosis. Th1onein Feb 2013 #58
Thank you DonRedwood Feb 2013 #71
Don send the pictures...It will be good for both of you... Tippy Feb 2013 #62
Follow your heart.... SomethingFishy Feb 2013 #74
Don, your ability and willingness to see the other person's point of view are beautiful gifts. VOX Feb 2013 #80
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