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Thu Jan 3, 2013, 11:37 AM

Colorado columnist: Assault rifle owners have ‘tiny penises’ - Fox 31 Denver [View all]

“To me, those Hummer owners were a lot like gun owners,” Hartley writes. “They had an inflated sense of their own self-importance, and they thought owning a massive tank-like vehicle made them somehow more virile and masculine.”

Hartley asserts that consumers did a 180 when “the rest of us pointed out that owning a Hummer was an obvious sign of a person making up for a physical shortcoming.”

At that point, Hartley continues, “Hummer went out of business virtually overnight.”

That doesn’t mean Hartley is prepared to lump all gun owners into the same boat. He gives a pass to those who own a handgun “to protect your home and your family,” and to those who own a rifle or shot gun “for hunting or target shooting.”

It’s only the possession of a “pseudo-machine gun” that proves “you have a tiny wiener and you’re incredibly self-conscious about it,” in Hartley’s estimation.

Hartley did not excuse females who own such weapons from the same criticism.

http://kdvr.com/2012/12/28/colorado-columnist-assault-rifle-owners-have-tiny-penises/

***

Now, I know a lot of you are probably saying to yourselves, “But Todd, plenty of women also own guns. What about them? Do they have small penises, too?”

My answer to that question would be: yes. Yes they do. Women who own assault weapons have tiny penises, just like their male counterparts. That would explain why they're angry enough to buy a weapon whose sole purpose is to kill as many people as possible as quickly as possible.
http://www.aspentimes.com/article/20121228/COLUMN/121229911/1021&parentprofile=1061

Todd Hartley hopes the NRA doesn't sabotage his bid to join the local PTA. To read more or leave a comment, please visit www.zerobudget.net.

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