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Response to Philosoraptor (Original post)

Wed Dec 19, 2012, 07:54 AM

13. I'm not sure what I was

Which makes sense.

I wasn't bullied in high school, too big of a guy, but I was invisible. Smart, and everyone commented on that, teachers, other students even, but it wasn't worth much. It was more of just asking why aren't you doing better, but that was it. Of course I was shy and introverted. I got up enough guts to go out for the football team in my senior year, knew I'd make it, because I was always an athlete and played sports, and I did make it. It also ended up not being worth much socially.

Part of that was I never really didn't like being a by myself, but I did want a social life. Just didn't know how to go about getting one, since I was never comfortable in my own skin. A few cries for help for lack of a better term. The biggest one being screwing myself academically, in that I started cutting classes in high school, and not doing homework, or failing tests, and that sort of thing. Not exactly purposely, it wasn't any sort of experiment on my part, but it just kind of happened because it was depressing for me to be at school. That ended up not doing much for me either. I think there a trip to a counselors office one day, that was about it.

I can't say I ever thought about shooting up the school though. However, in terms of the isolation that these guys that shoot people feel, I can relate to that. I did withdraw, almost completely, around 15. Not just cutting classes, but stopped going to school at all. Awkward socially, trouble verbally communicating thoughts, getting trapped inside your own head, etc, etc. Those things didn't start in high school for me, but that's a long boring story. I do get why it can just become a much tougher issue to deal with in high school though.

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