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Reply #109


Response to enough (Reply #48)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 09:12 PM

109. Thank you but my intention is not really to inspire anyone

I was in survival mode no more no less. I am pretty sure anyone in my position would have done the same thing. I am so grateful my husband and his family came along when he did so I didn't wind up with someone just as violent as my father. I know a lot of people are atheists here and I respect their feelings, but I felt like my husband was sent to me because it was at the absolute right place and right time.

I am finding it troubling to see the responses that think what I am doing is simply speaking against guns. What I am trying to make people understand is what it was like to live with someone who loves the power guns have and the power over people a gun can give to threaten and terrify and control. And to have it be behind closed doors so that to the outside he was the epitome of the "responsible" gun owner.l

I was given the "gun is not a toy" lecture, I was taken shooting. To this day my father wants to give me a gun and I say no.

He believes he is responsible, he believes I made him do what he did to me. He didn't want to do it but I was just so bad that I forced him to take such drastic measures.

This is the danger he did more damage sober than drunk. The stuff he did later in life when he was drunk was bad enough because I felt like it would be my fault if he killed himself. Now, he is saying that he is going to kill himself once the lung disease gets bad. Frankly, I don't care what happens to him anymore. He tries to manipulate me in to feeling bad for him but he did so much damage there isn't anything left for me to feel.


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