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cynatnite

(31,011 posts)
16. We are all a product of our childhoods to some degree...
Sun Dec 16, 2012, 01:30 PM
Dec 2012

but I think that this goes far beyond anything that can by comprehended.

My guess is that the family of the young man is suffering because of what he did.

Well, your statement there doesn't sound quite fair...... Joe the Revelator Dec 2012 #1
Whatever is the truth, she looks very human, like us Voice for Peace Dec 2012 #207
From what I read, she initiated the divorce. Laurian Dec 2012 #2
I wish someone would "abandon" me to the tune of $250K per year jberryhill Dec 2012 #23
!!!! sounds good to me too Voice for Peace Dec 2012 #204
From what I read, she initiated the divorce after he was caught cheating krawhitham Dec 2012 #68
Oops, sorry. I hadn't heard the cheating part. Laurian Dec 2012 #76
Right, Dad is never responsible for anything in these scenarios Warpy Dec 2012 #3
well, personally I'm going with what the people who knew her have said TorchTheWitch Dec 2012 #32
Thank you for this Saboburns Dec 2012 #38
As-Salamu Alayka grantcart Dec 2012 #142
It's anger Dorian Gray Dec 2012 #146
So true. The survival, primitive part of the human brain does this WCLinolVir Dec 2012 #179
That's an interesting way to look at it Dorian Gray Dec 2012 #196
This is why the President said "today is not the day ..." Bake Dec 2012 #190
Exactly Dorian Gray Dec 2012 #195
You know why people do this... Kalidurga Dec 2012 #40
stop reading my mind TorchTheWitch Dec 2012 #51
It's all about Dorian Gray Dec 2012 #147
That makes a lot of sense. Chemisse Dec 2012 #156
it's been tough here the last few days. Dorian Gray Dec 2012 #198
Not on DU it isn't TorchTheWitch Dec 2012 #178
I was with you all the way through this thread Dorian Gray Dec 2012 #197
Really? renie408 Dec 2012 #200
Exactly..... sendero Dec 2012 #140
his mother told the male bbsitter to never leave Adam in a room by himself. grasswire Dec 2012 #46
and it seems to mean that as a youth TorchTheWitch Dec 2012 #69
Autism or Aspberger's do not cause one not to feel physical pain. Depression can make one feel numb Michigan Alum Dec 2012 #134
I wasn't talking about Autism or Asperger's TorchTheWitch Dec 2012 #141
Did not know he had congenital analgesia..... haven't seen that mentioned anywhere. Michigan Alum Dec 2012 #191
I agree - the babysitter left out that tidbit - or the reporter did. Chemisse Dec 2012 #157
We have no proof this was ever said obamanut2012 Dec 2012 #173
Excellent points. JohnnyLib2 Dec 2012 #53
Finally... OneMoreDemocrat Dec 2012 #54
Your Username is perfect with this post. I thank you for your drop of reason in this sea of madness KittyWampus Dec 2012 #56
Juvenile records are sealed by law... Sedona Dec 2012 #60
well he certainly showed no violent tendencies TorchTheWitch Dec 2012 #81
Exactly, thank you for making my point. Sedona Dec 2012 #89
so back we go to that common sense thing TorchTheWitch Dec 2012 #100
So we should assume he did? Dorian Gray Dec 2012 #149
Let's not assume he didn't = Let's assume he did. Chemisse Dec 2012 #159
The mother used horrible judgment in keeping a lot of guns around a mentally disturbed son. Arugula Latte Dec 2012 #61
what sort of mental disturbance? TorchTheWitch Dec 2012 #94
His brother sure seemed to know. Bet Dad knew, too, and was helpless to change things. Nay Dec 2012 #110
And what has Ryan actually SAID? TorchTheWitch Dec 2012 #137
Why are you spinning a tale? How about stick to the facts that we have. nt Chemisse Dec 2012 #161
Because he/she is a Nay-sayer (look at the username). MiddleFingerMom Dec 2012 #164
Actually, it's because I have a very long name that my baby brother could not say, and "Nay" Nay Dec 2012 #202
His brother has said no such thing obamanut2012 Dec 2012 #174
Here's what Ryan Lanza said, as reported in the UK Daily Mail.... Nay Dec 2012 #199
I add my Thank You also. Sissyk Dec 2012 #71
I also want to thank you Mojorabbit Dec 2012 #108
Very well said Riftaxe Dec 2012 #125
He did have an "altercation" with four office staff at the school. Sounds serious to Flabbergasted Dec 2012 #127
No he didn't TorchTheWitch Dec 2012 #133
I haven't had time to read the threads you refer to but I thinkyou are correct. There is only one grantcart Dec 2012 #143
Thank you for this Dorian Gray Dec 2012 #145
Thank you! I am so sick of the 'holier than thou s' Chemisse Dec 2012 #155
Very well stated. nt. OldDem2012 Dec 2012 #160
Why did she need assault weapons? louis c Dec 2012 #169
thank you -- this obamanut2012 Dec 2012 #172
Why weren't the guns locked up? brush Dec 2012 #175
FWIW the "survivalist" part is not just DU yellowcanine Dec 2012 #176
There's a ton of articles saying this - her sister was the one who reported this. Michigan Alum Dec 2012 #194
this picture Voice for Peace Dec 2012 #205
They were married for 28 years BeyondGeography Dec 2012 #4
She initiated the divorce. ananda Dec 2012 #5
Well, we don't know everything. But the mom kept the firearms, right? NYC_SKP Dec 2012 #6
details, shmeetails. joeunderdog Dec 2012 #27
The devil is in the details, which some don't arthritisR_US Dec 2012 #44
Even that is not clear ProgressiveProfessor Dec 2012 #124
The guns belonged to the mother. And they were some pretty scary guns. Chorophyll Dec 2012 #7
I read in several places that she initiated the divorce mentalsolstice Dec 2012 #8
This was exactly my take on it, too. He was already giving her more alimony than was required, Nay Dec 2012 #12
most of which is entirely speculative on your part HiPointDem Dec 2012 #117
All of this is speculative at this point ProgressiveProfessor Dec 2012 #123
Of course it is. I am not a reporter writing a story, or an author writing a book. I am just Nay Dec 2012 #201
In one article I read, the older brother Ryan had not had contact with his younger amandabeech Dec 2012 #129
Yes, that book was chilling and this tragedy reminds me of it as well. n/t Inspired Dec 2012 #33
There is far too much we don't, and may never, know about their family dynamic Siwsan Dec 2012 #9
Does anyone know if the father shared in the love of guns? Hoyt Dec 2012 #10
he was a gun owner as well. reports were the "entire family" used to go to shooting range together bettyellen Dec 2012 #14
Thanks. Exactly what I thought -- kid was brought up in gun culture. Hoyt Dec 2012 #21
yeah, I think they are being a bit unfair to the mom for sticking it out. parents have few options bettyellen Dec 2012 #30
Mom was in bed in her pajamas No Vested Interest Dec 2012 #128
I hope she never knew. Chemisse Dec 2012 #163
Mom kept guns in the house kiva Dec 2012 #11
And that's really where the rubber meets the road Floyd_Gondolli Dec 2012 #45
The landscaper who knew the mother said that she had a lot of bad things to say undeterred Dec 2012 #13
i know he was very generous with alimony, but he was also a gun enthusiast bettyellen Dec 2012 #17
Personally, I blame the son more than either the mother or father. egduj Dec 2012 #15
Color me kooky as well Saboburns Dec 2012 #41
I must be kooky also Sissyk Dec 2012 #77
We are all a product of our childhoods to some degree... cynatnite Dec 2012 #16
Started "a new one" with another woman, I presume. Eleanors38 Dec 2012 #18
You certainly do... regnaD kciN Dec 2012 #130
Well, he could have married a man. Odds are, though...nc Eleanors38 Dec 2012 #180
What the ever loving fuck are you talking about. Seriously. Marinedem Dec 2012 #19
Parenthood outlasts marriage. undeterred Dec 2012 #22
So? Marinedem Dec 2012 #29
I guess the proof is in the body count. undeterred Dec 2012 #37
You're a shitty guesser Shivering Jemmy Dec 2012 #57
Yeah, and you're a genius. undeterred Dec 2012 #115
I thought that both the brother and father said they hadn't spoken to Adam in years. Michigan Alum Dec 2012 #135
I agree. undeterred Dec 2012 #144
Bravo Saboburns Dec 2012 #42
Responsibility for safety issues of the former spouse's personal property, kestrel91316 Dec 2012 #83
Did he fail to secure firearms used in a mass murder? jberryhill Dec 2012 #20
She filed for divorce WolverineDG Dec 2012 #24
"Abandoned"? What a pig-ignorant post. nt Codeine Dec 2012 #25
Please describe how Peter Lanza... ChisolmTrailDem Dec 2012 #26
Cheated. Nt IdaBriggs Dec 2012 #153
Really???? RetroLounge Dec 2012 #28
Hit & Run OP too. eom ChisolmTrailDem Dec 2012 #36
been here for years. hardly a hit/run poster elehhhhna Dec 2012 #91
Hit & run posting has nothing to do with how long you've been here... ChisolmTrailDem Dec 2012 #99
the first sentence of the OP alludes to the point elehhhhna Dec 2012 #103
wise up. GeorgeGist Dec 2012 #31
Way to elevate the discussion. Not. cherokeeprogressive Dec 2012 #34
Well, that is the usual. Jamastiene Dec 2012 #35
In a gun case I'd usually place the blame on the father xmas74 Dec 2012 #90
Yeah. When she kicks him out of the house and cashes the $250,000 annual alimony check. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2012 #93
It is easier to smear the dead. Union Scribe Dec 2012 #39
Probably because they were apparently HER guns, left unlocked. nt Lex Dec 2012 #43
An Absent Dad Is Never Good otohara Dec 2012 #47
wow, are you not a deep thinker. You know people get divorced, right? Logical Dec 2012 #48
That is how it always goes. redqueen Dec 2012 #49
Well, he did live with his mom and it was her guns used. tammywammy Dec 2012 #66
No Sissyk Dec 2012 #82
What about the gun access? brush Dec 2012 #177
Again, Sissyk Dec 2012 #192
You're ignoring the obvious brush Dec 2012 #193
There is not enough information Dorian Gray Dec 2012 #150
Abadoned his 'first' family? one_voice Dec 2012 #50
Um, from Newtown to Stamford is like less than an hour away. Jennicut Dec 2012 #52
Careful Floyd_Gondolli Dec 2012 #55
Exactly. They were only divorced three years ago. redqueen Dec 2012 #59
Does blaming anyone make anyone seriously feel better? Live and Learn Dec 2012 #58
Maybe after the guns began stacking up he feared for his own safety? NNN0LHI Dec 2012 #62
This is complete Bullshit. mn9driver Dec 2012 #63
this is not about you elehhhhna Dec 2012 #67
That's right. The thread is about Mr. Lanza, who no one here knows anything about. /nt mn9driver Dec 2012 #75
this thread is actually about people blaming the mother elehhhhna Dec 2012 #84
That would be why you started it like this: mn9driver Dec 2012 #88
we have an ignore feature. use it. elehhhhna Dec 2012 #97
Heh. I think I'll retain the ability to view and rebut. mn9driver Dec 2012 #102
Some states recognize that women are owed an equitable distribution of the assets, not just the msanthrope Dec 2012 #189
Exactly customerserviceguy Dec 2012 #73
Well you beat me there NNN0LHI Dec 2012 #79
Hey MN9driver Puglover Dec 2012 #203
I am not sure blaming anyone is the answer, but that's what people do. Avalux Dec 2012 #64
I am seeing a lot of evidence that his mother did love and care for him. Chemisse Dec 2012 #165
Don't ever let a ... 99Forever Dec 2012 #65
I do not blame either one. Sissyk Dec 2012 #70
Reasons for the divorce aside customerserviceguy Dec 2012 #72
Enough with the blame. How about some solutions for a change. Starboard Tack Dec 2012 #74
+1000 Sissyk Dec 2012 #85
+2000 nt Live and Learn Dec 2012 #106
We're ALL to blame? 99Forever Dec 2012 #107
Yes I did mean it. And it should offend. We need to be offended. Starboard Tack Dec 2012 #109
How am I to blame? 99Forever Dec 2012 #112
Because you are also a member of society. Starboard Tack Dec 2012 #113
What utter hogwash. 99Forever Dec 2012 #118
It's OK. We're on the same side. Starboard Tack Dec 2012 #122
You're a hypocrite. tedzbear Dec 2012 #151
When I say we are all to blame, I mean as a society we are all to blame. Starboard Tack Dec 2012 #182
She supplied the weapons of mass destruction. nt valerief Dec 2012 #78
To me, that really is amuse bouche Dec 2012 #171
In what way did the father have control over the mother's kestrel91316 Dec 2012 #80
Wow just wow Drew Richards Dec 2012 #86
and thy shall know them by their spelling elehhhhna Dec 2012 #98
"THY shall know them by their spelling"...? regnaD kciN Dec 2012 #131
Well, she was a she. What more do we need? Egalitarian Thug Dec 2012 #87
Nope. No misandry on DU. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2012 #92
As the poster of the op that started this... Warren Stupidity Dec 2012 #166
Try this one on for size. If custody had been awarded to dad, maybe this wouldn't have happened. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2012 #95
Sounds like dad left all that "old-family" trouble behind--wonder if he kept TwilightGardener Dec 2012 #96
How do you know he abandoned them. I wouldn't say 28 yr married is abandment. southernyankeebelle Dec 2012 #101
Dad was cheating, hence the divorce. Nt IdaBriggs Dec 2012 #154
There are tons of people who cheat on spouses but it doesn't lead to a 20 yr old southernyankeebelle Dec 2012 #158
He "abandoned" the marriage by cheating. IdaBriggs Dec 2012 #170
Do you have a link for that claim? n/t Fumesucker Dec 2012 #181
At least one link in one of the half a dozen IdaBriggs Dec 2012 #186
I've read a bunch of threads on this and haven't seen that Fumesucker Dec 2012 #187
Abandoned has a specific meaning in a divorce situation. Warren Stupidity Dec 2012 #167
i agree with your opinion also. Although divorice is very hard I don't think he just southernyankeebelle Dec 2012 #168
280,000/yr alimony == abandoned. Warren Stupidity Dec 2012 #183
Yep she was crying all the way to the bank. southernyankeebelle Dec 2012 #185
now let's mix some gender bashing into this wonderful event..... spanone Dec 2012 #104
Wow. That's a pretty desperate stretch. 2/10 leeroysphitz Dec 2012 #105
I wish Mom had kept her impressive gun collection locked away (nt) Nye Bevan Dec 2012 #111
How do you know she didn't? Common Sense Party Dec 2012 #126
I betcha that was the reason for the divorce. He'd found himself a new sweetie. nt raccoon Dec 2012 #114
Yes, all men are evil philanderers Floyd_Gondolli Dec 2012 #116
That scenario happened to several people in my family. In one case, my family member raccoon Dec 2012 #120
As long as we're speaking anecdotally Floyd_Gondolli Dec 2012 #121
I betcha you don't know jack shit about what happened regnaD kciN Dec 2012 #132
doubt it H2O Man Dec 2012 #119
Emphatic K&R! But please do see my OP started in response to your coalition_unwilling Dec 2012 #136
i'm not letting him off the hook, i would like to hear more from him JI7 Dec 2012 #138
He tried to atone for his cheating, at least lbrtbell Dec 2012 #139
"Daddy didn't give attention to the fact that mommy didn't care" underpants Dec 2012 #148
I've been thinking of that song and that video too... IcyPeas Dec 2012 #208
Does EVERY issue on DU have to boil down to the man v. woman thing? joeunderdog Dec 2012 #152
Amen! nt raccoon Dec 2012 #162
People do this after every shooting. It's not fair. Dash87 Dec 2012 #184
Are you saying people should remain married forever no matter what? Welcome_hubby Dec 2012 #188
Or perhaps because when he left her he promised her she'd never have to work again? Iris Dec 2012 #206
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