Reply #34

In the discussion thread: This was what it was like to grow up with a gun nut for a father. [View all]

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 06:10 AM

pnwmom (43,200 posts)

34. I am so happy to hear you've found love. And I hope you never spend a second

feeling guilty about keeping your kids away from your abuser. (He doesn't deserve to be called father.) That is absolutely the right thing to do. Your obligation is to them now, not to him.

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157 replies	Author	Time	Post
This was what it was like to grow up with a gun nut for a father. [View all]	Robyn66	Dec 2012	OP
Thank you for sharing, this post took some guts to put it out there ...	MindMover	Dec 2012	#1
YEARS of counseling	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#4
I am so glad that you're happy!	gateley	Dec 2012	#26
Thank you for trusting again ... Bless you and your family ...	MindMover	Dec 2012	#77
Thank you for sharing this. One thing really touched me...	kag	Dec 2012	#85
whew....	OneGrassRoot	Dec 2012	#114
back at you!	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#134
I love your sig line, BTW!	tavalon	Dec 2012	#137
Thanks!	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#145
+ brazillion.	nadinbrzezinski	Dec 2012	#6
KnR	alittlelark	Dec 2012	#2
Living with that kind of fear is unimaginable.	polly7	Dec 2012	#3
I have, thank you	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#5
You were tortured and abused, that's all there is to it. You were entrapped in an earthly hell.	We People	Dec 2012	#7
I have been very fortunate	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#10
We share a few things..... and what you suffer from is	glinda	Dec 2012	#22
I am so happy to hear you've found love. And I hope you never spend a second	pnwmom	Dec 2012	#34
Mistreatment from a gun-nut parent. When you fear more than a black eye.	valerief	Dec 2012	#11
I had a girlfriend about 40 years ago that was in a similar situation.	Mr.Bill	Dec 2012	#8
What a terrible person he was	Beringia	Dec 2012	#9
Oh he is still alive	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#12
Wow, Robyn.. I'm sorry you had	Cha	Dec 2012	#13
I'm so glad you survived and found love. nt	Ilsa	Dec 2012	#14
This is why I think the term "gun nut" is entirely appropriate	lolly	Dec 2012	#15
I don't know; my late	Berlin Expat	Dec 2012	#56
There are responsible gun enthusiasts.	Texin	Dec 2012	#80
I totally agree	Berlin Expat	Dec 2012	#102
I have many guns for hunting, depends on what	oldbanjo	Dec 2012	#90
snakes?	oberle	Dec 2012	#93
Some snakes..	EX500rider	Dec 2012	#97
all those years of terror at that formative age	renate	Dec 2012	#16
I always wanted to run away	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#17
Robyn you are a brave woman to share your story. Peace to you sister.	kimbutgar	Dec 2012	#18
Your dad and my dad could be twins.	Bette Noir	Dec 2012	#19
Wow - angry, scary twins.	dchill	Dec 2012	#28
I am so sorry!	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#66
I also had a gun nut for a father	left lowrider	Dec 2012	#20
as much as he suffered, that upbringing still must have been tough on you	renate	Dec 2012	#32
Welcome to DU, left lowrider!	pnwmom	Dec 2012	#35
Welcome to DU left lowrider.	Auntie Bush	Dec 2012	#95
I'm so glad you survived and thrived...	defacto7	Dec 2012	#21
Guns weren't the worst part	vlyons	Dec 2012	#23
Im so sorry that happened to you	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#49
"It was the constant invalidation, telling you that you were bad, worthless, etc."...	Surya Gayatri	Dec 2012	#68
Amen,	tavalon	Dec 2012	#107
I did too!	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#110
I've done so much FOO (family of origin) work that I think I could pay for a mercedes.	tavalon	Dec 2012	#117
It's not twisted but I do feel sad when I hear that	tavalon	Dec 2012	#136
Understand totally, tavalon. Many years later in therapy, I did "kill" them symbolically--	Surya Gayatri	Dec 2012	#121
I don't think its possible to completely get over it	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#123
Agree completely, Robyn. The healing that comes with	Surya Gayatri	Dec 2012	#125
Yup	tavalon	Dec 2012	#135
It's the rebel in you that saved your life!	Surya Gayatri	Dec 2012	#140
Actually, that sort of behavior was restricted to my time with them	tavalon	Dec 2012	#141
So true about authenticity--what I couldn't bear and	Surya Gayatri	Dec 2012	#142
Yep	tavalon	Dec 2012	#143
There is a thread of strength in us	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#147
We're all the walking wounded, who've managed to	Surya Gayatri	Dec 2012	#149
I'm so sorry to hear your story...	Moostache	Dec 2012	#24
I am so glad to hear that	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#47
My brother lives next to a cop. He has threatened to shoot my brother, he has shot	doc03	Dec 2012	#25
OMG, this cop	Carolina	Dec 2012	#40
Thank you for sharing your story...	MrMickeysMom	Dec 2012	#27
When I was young	Spirochete	Dec 2012	#29
OK	qkvhj	Dec 2012	#30
I'm trying to fathom the mind that would defend gun ownership in this thread	DeltaLitProf	Dec 2012	#37
And we know you by your 36 posts! You're going off on a	Carolina	Dec 2012	#42
Thanks Carolina	BanzaiBonnie	Dec 2012	#58
I can't beleive anyone would respond in such a way	BanzaiBonnie	Dec 2012	#57
It's not?	letemrot	Dec 2012	#69
And the 15 year old daughter may be dead if he was a gun nut	LiberalLovinLug	Dec 2012	#79
That is sad. I feel for you.	Pretzel_Warrior	Dec 2012	#31
What a story!	rightsideout	Dec 2012	#33
Thank you for sharing this with us.	vaberella	Dec 2012	#36
I hope so	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#45
Thanks for sharing that. ITA how important it is for a girl to have a good father. I	raccoon	Dec 2012	#38
Its so true	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#44
Thank you	Carolina	Dec 2012	#39
My brothers	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#43
Thank you, again, for the full	Carolina	Dec 2012	#104
Seems like he was just a nut...	Lightbulb_on	Dec 2012	#41
Your father was abusive.	frank380	Dec 2012	#46
He was just a lot more dangerous because he was one.	Walk away	Dec 2012	#52
"Someone with a loaded gun in his hand only has to lose control for a split second	raccoon	Dec 2012	#62
Robyn, your story is inspiring.	enough	Dec 2012	#48
Actually.....	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#51
Thank you but my intention is not really to inspire anyone	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#109
You have conveyed the reality with great clarity.	enough	Dec 2012	#132
I am so sorry	etherealtruth	Dec 2012	#50
God, I've heard of child abuse, but that is horrendous!	ReRe	Dec 2012	#53
I am truly sorry you had to experience all that. Horrific and scary!	marew	Dec 2012	#54
You are a survivor and your adult life serves as a role model	LiberalEsto	Dec 2012	#55
Funny that	tavalon	Dec 2012	#108
Rec'd nt	treestar	Dec 2012	#59
Shot blanks at you...!	Grins	Dec 2012	#60
I have no words. :^( hugs	GreenPartyVoter	Dec 2012	#61
Thank you	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#133
I can relate. My father only had a few guns, but only 'played' with them when he was drunk.	joanbarnes	Dec 2012	#63
So without the guns, he would have been Ward Cleaver?	AlexSatan	Dec 2012	#64
Might want to rethink that post. It's incorrect and insensitive.	nolabear	Dec 2012	#67
Good catch	AlexSatan	Dec 2012	#72
So let's cut that by half, whatsay?	nolabear	Dec 2012	#78
Unless you want to actually use real data, sure	AlexSatan	Dec 2012	#81
I don't get your point (seems to support mine except moreso) but this I know.	nolabear	Dec 2012	#88
Take it somewhere else. Your insensitivity is stunning. nt	Chorophyll	Dec 2012	#111
Yo Satan	tavalon	Dec 2012	#118
I recognize	AlexSatan	Dec 2012	#120
Guns are part of his self-image. They are a source of his perceived power.	kwassa	Dec 2012	#122
And if it weren't for guns	AlexSatan	Dec 2012	#124
You are speaking like you know him	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#126
Obviously	AlexSatan	Dec 2012	#127
For him to not have guns in his life,	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#130
By choice, rather than by nature.	LanternWaste	Dec 2012	#156
The Fail Club gains another member.	WilliamPitt	Dec 2012	#148
True, Sir: Calls Hisself 'Satan' And Cannot Tell Masochism From Sadism....	The Magistrate	Dec 2012	#153
I had a grandfather like that. Cop and all. I'm so glad you're doing well.	nolabear	Dec 2012	#65
My answer....	Gary 50	Dec 2012	#70
Monday morning quarterbacking...	Ineeda	Dec 2012	#100
+1. The Renaissance scholar Stephen Greenblatt wrote a great book with	coalition_unwilling	Dec 2012	#106
Oh Jesus, what a jerk!	Odin2005	Dec 2012	#71
HI Odin	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#131
Well you sound like you are on the road to recovery. Because honestly I don't know	southernyankeebelle	Dec 2012	#73
Another survivor of gun nut father	pattiepcomedy	Dec 2012	#74
Sounds more like	Jim Warren	Dec 2012	#75
I'm discusted by the replies here who think your Dad wasn't a gun nut.	sellitman	Dec 2012	#76
Oh, he was a gun nut	bobclark86	Dec 2012	#83
Yet without the guns	sellitman	Dec 2012	#96
This is the kind of abusive asshole...	bobclark86	Dec 2012	#82
+1	CountAllVotes	Dec 2012	#91
I would bet money that your father came from an abusive home.	Gregorian	Dec 2012	#84
Wow, how horrible!	CountAllVotes	Dec 2012	#86
Thank you for sharing	Taverner	Dec 2012	#87
Holy Smokes, I Thought I Had It Bad	otohara	Dec 2012	#89
Condolences - Wish We Could Take The Painful Memories Away	cantbeserious	Dec 2012	#92
BIG HUG	proud patriot	Dec 2012	#94
Thats your experience	UndahCovah	Dec 2012	#98
Thanks for sharing	Joey Liberal	Dec 2012	#99
This message was self-deleted by its author	ann---	Dec 2012	#101
You're a good mother, imo	usregimechange	Dec 2012	#103
Thanks!	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#112
And this is why	mainstreetonce	Dec 2012	#105
Thank you for this.	lupinella	Dec 2012	#113
Thank you! You captured it perfectly!	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#119
I cannot imagine that kind of abuse. Hugs to you Robyn66	AllyCat	Dec 2012	#115
" having a bad father is just about the worst thing in the world "	Tinksrival	Dec 2012	#116
I am truly sorry for what you had to go through	derby378	Dec 2012	#128
Oh dear.	MuseRider	Dec 2012	#129
Kicked and recommended.	Uncle Joe	Dec 2012	#138
Sorry Robyn	rufus dog	Dec 2012	#139
But you know what,	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#144
You go Girl!	rufus dog	Dec 2012	#152
Just saw this.	WilliamPitt	Dec 2012	#146
Now you know	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#154
did anybody else in the neighborhood think it was so dangerous they needed guns?e	yurbud	Dec 2012	#150
The neighborhood was fine, no fig leaf even attempted	Robyn66	Dec 2012	#155
wow--you would think members of the extended family would be nervous about inviting him	yurbud	Dec 2012	#157
Hugs and thanks, Robyn	JohnnyLib2	Dec 2012	#151

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