General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Would you buy your way out of bad public schools by sending your child to a private school? [View all]onpatrol98
(1,989 posts)But, no one put their child's education ahead of education for all children, no more than choosing to buy clothes from one store instead of another store is choosing to put your own clothing needs ahead of the clothing needs for everyone. Every parent has to decide on how to education his/her children. Some people choose public school, some people choose private school, some choose homeschooling...and a few have tried all three.
People also choose educational venues for a variety of reasons. Some parents of special needs children opt for homeschooling or private schools, or even certain public schools over others, because they are personally responsible for providing for their children...and they perceive an opportunity to help their children.
Following your logic, a parent of a special needs child should instinctively realize that they have a duty to leave their child in an environment that may NOT be in his/her best interest so as not to deprive the school of necessary dollars. To my mind, this is not a good parent. In fact, I'm not even sure if that describes a parent. It seems illogical at best.
I have no doubt that many of the parents that decide to move (if possible) for better schools, choose a private school, or actively choose one public school over another public school, and definitely homeschool are also parents who actively engage with their children, sit down and help them with their homework, go to conferences and school meetings.
I do not believe it is elitist to decide your child would fare better in one environment over another one... then seek it out. It's called being a parent...not even a good parent. It's just parenting. If we can decide we like one neighborhood better than another, one sweater is better than another, I think we can decide one school is better than another for our children. I have a friend who decided to let her child live with his father after his school attempted to place him in special education. It was a hard decision for her.
The father lived in another state, and it was also a public school. The school he moved to determined that he was dyslexic. And, they had a special program in place to help him discover ways to work with his learning issues. The kid graduated Valedictorian at that much larger, much more competitive campus.
She definitely was not elitist...but, she was desperate. She knew he needed more than she knew how to give, although she later learned, with the help of the new school on her visits. The school her child left, hasn't changed much, except it's gotten worse. But, her child's opportunities have certainly changed. He's finished graduate school. Some children do well no matter where they're placed. Some children seem to flourish better in some environment more so than others. Every child is different. Her older children did perfectly well in the same school, this child had to leave.