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Mon Dec 10, 2012, 10:39 PM

WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT. NO EXCEPTIONS, GODDAMMIT. [View all]

I plan to be a pain in the ass about this to everyone I know for the rest of my life. Which thankfully has been extended due to a seat belt.

Saturday evening my car, a Pontiac Vibe, got rammed from behind by another driver in a heavy duty pickup truck. (A “RAM” truck, not coincidentally.) My car rolled across lanes of traffic, and landed on its roof in the center strip between the northbound and southbound lanes.

I was suspended upside down, held in place by – you guessed it – my seat belt. I reached down and turned off the ignition, which released the door locks. Then I unbuckled my seat belt, lowered myself down, and crawled out the passenger side door.

If I hadn’t worn my seat belt I would not be posting this today. I want to state that again: If I hadn’t worn my seat belt I would not be posting this today.

WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT. EVERY GODDAMNED TIME YOU GET INTO A VEHICLE. NO EXCEPTIONS, GODDAMMIT. The next time I hear some douche-canoe claim that not wearing a seat belt is “a matter of personal choice” or “a victimless crime” or “a blow against the Nanny State” – - I will personally kick that douche-canoe’s sorry loser ass into next week, find him or her next Tuesday, and kick his or her sorry loser ass again.

That is all.

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