General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: In many of the rape threads I an noticing a definite empathy deficit... [View all]JoeyT
(6,785 posts)because I genuinely don't think you're an MRA, and I seriously doubt you're a sadist or a psychopath.
Women aren't saying we're potential rapists. They're saying that they can't tell us from a potential rapist when they don't know us.
There's no defining characteristic of rapists other than rape. They're not a certain height, build, or possessing a specific physical feature. They don't wear a "Hello! I am a rapist!" t-shirt. They don't announce to the people around them that they're a rapist. There isn't a flashing neon sign over their head that reads "Warning: Rapist!". They're literally indistinguishable from you and me, right up until they rape someone.
Given that, it's often in a woman's best interest to assume strangers approaching them *might* be a rapist, especially since there's a not inconsequential segment of society that will blame them if they engage a man in conversation or whatever and he turns out to be a rapist. Also known as the "What was she wearing?" crowd.
It's the same reason you've got a username here instead of your real name, and the reason that though I use my real name, my last name isn't spelled out. The vast majority of us aren't crazy people that might hurt someone from the internet, but someone might be. Since we can't tell who might be a psychopath, we hide our identity from people we don't know.
It's the same reason that if I asked you what your Social Security number is you'd ask me if I'd lost my fucking mind. I'd never steal someone's identity, but you have absolutely no way of knowing that. To hand that over requires trust, which I, as a completely anonymous person in the crowd, don't have. It doesn't mean you think I'm an identity thief or even a potential identity thief. It just means you have no way of knowing, and without any way of knowing, it's better to be safe than sorry.