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noamnety

(20,234 posts)
30. The basic progression
Sat Dec 1, 2012, 06:10 PM
Dec 2012

1. DUer makes unwelcomed and offtopic sexually explicit comments to another DUer.
2. People here get pissed off.
3. DUer responds not with an apology, but instead by running around to different threads posting offensive words until he gets banned.
4. People aligned on different sides of the banning. You know that deal with the Joe Paterno statue being removed from Penn State, and some people being offended by the removal of it? It was like that, but on a miniscale. (harassment, not rape, banning from a website, not jail time.
5. Discussion ensues about rape culture and to what degree acceptance of harassment encourages a rape culture - and also whether rape culture exists.
6. Another DUer steps forward to say yes, it exists, and I know because was guilty of raping drunk women when I was younger, and among my group we didn't acknowledge it was rape.

Now we have people refusing to acknowledge that it is culturally acceptable in some circles (frat boys in that case) to "take advantage of" (i.e. rape) drunk women, others refusing to acknowledge that "taking advantage of" a drunk woman is rape if she's coherent enough to talk, people offended at the idea that we need to work to change the culture instead of focusing all efforts on self-defense techniques for women.

I'm sure I left out a lot.

No, I will not feel gender guilt [View all] Earth_First Dec 2012 OP
I agree: it is enough. n/t CaliforniaPeggy Dec 2012 #1
If that's what you've taken from the discussion, WilliamPitt Dec 2012 #2
^^this^^^ hlthe2b Dec 2012 #3
WP you are smarter than that... Earth_First Dec 2012 #4
What was your other take away from the discussion then? bettyellen Dec 2012 #10
It's only introduction is by men here TorchTheWitch Dec 2012 #117
+1 myrna minx Dec 2012 #5
can I ask a dumb question? salin Dec 2012 #9
Background WilliamPitt Dec 2012 #22
thanks. salin Dec 2012 #29
I just peaked at the thread your linking to, how f*in absurd. Really? crazyjoe Dec 2012 #41
So you're saying there is absolutely NOTHING you personally Tsiyu Dec 2012 #67
The basic progression noamnety Dec 2012 #30
yikes. Seriously. salin Dec 2012 #95
There was also a post that was eventually self deleted in which some guy, probably Squinch Dec 2012 #87
That was one of the few threads that I first stumbled upon, salin Dec 2012 #97
Amazing what crawls around under the surface, isn't it? Squinch Dec 2012 #100
A long-time poster got banned for sexually harassing another poster in the Lounge. Odin2005 Dec 2012 #94
And clearly kicked up a shitstorm that appears to have salin Dec 2012 #101
I've learned we live in a "rape culture" Confusious Dec 2012 #12
Common because it happens often - there are lots of victims gollygee Dec 2012 #14
I've read over and over again in these threads that it's a minority of men, ALSO. OP is BS. bettyellen Dec 2012 #16
Yea, well, like I said Confusious Dec 2012 #24
Impression? So the actual words used don't matter- just this fuzzy impression you get? bettyellen Dec 2012 #27
I thought you were suppose be understanding about other peoples feelings Confusious Dec 2012 #33
Why would I let you off the hook for misrepresenting post made about men? There are about 6-7 bettyellen Dec 2012 #34
Throwing out what false accusations? Confusious Dec 2012 #36
you learned here " all men rape and should feel guilty about it" bettyellen Dec 2012 #43
A. I have no cohorts Confusious Dec 2012 #50
and I'm not one of the "usual suspects" you call out, LOL. bettyellen Dec 2012 #51
Yes you are one of the usual suspects Confusious Dec 2012 #53
great, because I'm hoping your cohorts ignore all of us, so we can converse without being misquoted bettyellen Dec 2012 #57
+ 1000000000 Tsiyu Dec 2012 #65
I am one of the good guys Confusious Dec 2012 #69
I lectured you about posting lies here, and you knew that you were doing it- really? bettyellen Dec 2012 #72
Did someone say something? Confusious Dec 2012 #74
Here's a clue from the Clue Wagon Tsiyu Dec 2012 #88
Have you ever been raped? Omaha Steve Dec 2012 #52
Yea, I guess I knew that was coming Confusious Dec 2012 #58
that is truly horrible. I am sorry this happened to you. bettyellen Dec 2012 #76
She apologized for both before she died 10 years ago Confusious Dec 2012 #79
I'm waiting for your snappy rejoinder Steve. nt Confusious Dec 2012 #70
With the number of accusations being thrown around Confusious Dec 2012 #17
so you didn't actually read any of the posts, and post w/ out rage based on nothing read here- just bettyellen Dec 2012 #19
I read the posts, and it was pretty discouraging Confusious Dec 2012 #20
you say you misread the posts- figuring people accused a majority. As did the OP. bettyellen Dec 2012 #25
I never said anything about misreading any posts Confusious Dec 2012 #31
you "figured it was a majority" = not reading the posts in any detail bettyellen Dec 2012 #35
Oh I read the posts Confusious Dec 2012 #37
.... Tsiyu Dec 2012 #63
You figured that despite the opposite being said over and over again? gollygee Dec 2012 #23
The usual suspects show up Confusious Dec 2012 #26
It is appropriate to use the term "rape culture" not because all of the males are complicit but grantcart Dec 2012 #91
Welcome to noticing this shit. redqueen Dec 2012 #15
Yeah, it really drives home the old saying about ignorance being bliss. white_wolf Dec 2012 #28
Seriously, right? obamanut2012 Dec 2012 #77
I am 100% certain that if you would simply prepare a well thought out OP for grantcart Dec 2012 #84
The misogynists are getting defensive. Odin2005 Dec 2012 #93
guilt? No. A recognition of cultural truths, yes. noamnety Dec 2012 #6
yes, group privilege is an understanding that some people are treated unequally La Lioness Priyanka Dec 2012 #40
What? gollygee Dec 2012 #7
If you're not a criminal Confusious Dec 2012 #39
That is not at all parallel gollygee Dec 2012 #59
Nope, no guilt. Just annoyance. Confusious Dec 2012 #62
Feel free to start a thread about child abuse gollygee Dec 2012 #71
Thanks for being nice Confusious Dec 2012 #73
we got more "Not me" or "I raped" threads from men... yet you complain about women lecturing you? bettyellen Dec 2012 #75
Why do we need to learn anything if most men don't do it? Confusious Dec 2012 #78
Ergo? Ha ha... BULLSHIT - no one said most men do it- bettyellen Dec 2012 #80
Really, like you put in mine? Confusious Dec 2012 #82
In one study, one in sixteen college men admitted to rape. antigone382 Dec 2012 #105
Link? bettyellen Dec 2012 #8
LOL Sheldon Cooper Dec 2012 #11
This message was self-deleted by its author Earth_First Dec 2012 #13
I remember hearing this from my great grandfather talking about black people. Egalitarian Thug Dec 2012 #18
I remember my cousin saying this about his future wife, LOL. bettyellen Dec 2012 #21
THAT is a pretty profound observation. Of course you are right, and it puts the Squinch Dec 2012 #86
It just makes me sad that in issue after issue, decade after decade, we have to re-fight Egalitarian Thug Dec 2012 #116
lol La Lioness Priyanka Dec 2012 #32
Exactly. DavidDvorkin Dec 2012 #38
Well, aren't you courageous! MotherPetrie Dec 2012 #42
After Dipping into a Couple of Those Threads On the Road Dec 2012 #44
I'm sorry that is all you have gotten from the conversation. Marrah_G Dec 2012 #45
If you feel guilt ask yourself why Tsiyu Dec 2012 #46
Any time the topic degrades into 'men this' and 'women that' it is uncomfortable and divisive. Chemisse Dec 2012 #47
it was some men here, who refused to hear ANY discussion without insisting they were being accused bettyellen Dec 2012 #54
agree, there are those willing to jump right to that conclusion treestar Dec 2012 #64
Nice. one_voice Dec 2012 #56
So fucking dumb alcibiades_mystery Dec 2012 #48
I would so unrec this if I could. Kalidurga Dec 2012 #49
Except there isn't room for discussion on this according to a number of people mythology Dec 2012 #81
How not to get raped. Kalidurga Dec 2012 #90
men are denying a rape culture exists, claim their pain (at merely being asked to acknowledge it) bettyellen Dec 2012 #110
I'm sorry that you feel as though males have been demonized through all of this, savebigbird Dec 2012 #55
That was the most reasoned response on this thread. CrispyQ Dec 2012 #60
*Cyber Wave* savebigbird Dec 2012 #61
You have my support and I am female malaise Dec 2012 #66
Shocking. nt redqueen Dec 2012 #68
This message was self-deleted by its author JustJoe Dec 2012 #83
Personally... 99Forever Dec 2012 #85
Given that the incidence of females rapeing males is virtually nonexistent, grantcart Dec 2012 #89
I had the same attitude, then a friend of mine got raped. Odin2005 Dec 2012 #92
Is this a feeble attempt at a joke? etherealtruth Dec 2012 #96
Not guilt..responsibility...responsibility to step up and act. Ken Burch Dec 2012 #98
Are you a rapist? StarryNite Dec 2012 #99
Exactly. Odin2005 Dec 2012 #102
Yeah... StarryNite Dec 2012 #104
I just asked my wife IDoMath Dec 2012 #103
Where mercuryblues Dec 2012 #106
Men in general are not responsible for the crimes of people like Julian Assange Nye Bevan Dec 2012 #107
was there EVER a post here that said that? It's like Bigfoot.. all talk about mythical crap. bettyellen Dec 2012 #108
But we have to put up strawmen, dear bettyellen Democracyinkind Dec 2012 #118
I don't feel gender guilt. Jamaal510 Dec 2012 #109
I don't think it's about feeling guilty for being a man. cherokeeprogressive Dec 2012 #111
You were feeling angry and rightly so. StarryNite Dec 2012 #112
I don't think men should feel gender guilt about rape cherish44 Dec 2012 #113
I don't think anyone here is asking you to feel guilty for being a man. Blue_In_AK Dec 2012 #114
Well said and thank you n/t DemocratsForProgress Dec 2012 #115
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