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In reply to the discussion: Dad's 'I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed' email to adult kids goes viral [View all]yardwork
(61,588 posts)121. I agree. The oldest one defends him, but notes that he destroyed her self-confidence.
We are given no evidence that his grown children are doing anything wrong. The oldest daughter sounds like she has a very successful life. All we have is the man's statement that he is disappointed in them. For what? No evidence that they have caused him any trouble.
I find it very troubling.
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Dad's 'I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed' email to adult kids goes viral [View all]
Liberal_in_LA
Nov 2012
OP
Everyone who has ever used the word "whinging" / "whingeing" in writing is an asshole.
DirkGently
Dec 2012
#174
i really did not hear narcissist. but, i can totally get how people would hear it. nt
seabeyond
Nov 2012
#37
I agree. And I worry about the oldest daughter, the one who is defending him.
yardwork
Dec 2012
#123
She is probably the narcissist's favorite -- which is not a good position to be in.
pnwmom
Dec 2012
#127
I was struck by the chilling absence of empathy but had marked it up to a "UK thing". Now
coalition_unwilling
Nov 2012
#51
perhaps he blames his kids, in some way, for his being unable to rise farther in the Royal Navy.
Ken Burch
Dec 2012
#229
I do too and congratulate him. He sounds like a good parent who has just had it...n/t
monmouth3
Nov 2012
#15
now we are getting into story time. i cut my brother off years ago, money wise. always unconditional
seabeyond
Nov 2012
#39
wow. my brother will give the shirt off my back to any friend. he is generous like that.
seabeyond
Nov 2012
#90
You like the letter? You like a jerk because he's complaining that his three EMPLOYED,
pnwmom
Nov 2012
#40
none of that was in article i read, made assumptions IF. if they are fine kids... than he is an ass.
seabeyond
Nov 2012
#47
Emily, the "struggling" interpreter, has 2 toddlers, a 12 year old, and is married to a surgeon.
pnwmom
Nov 2012
#106
Did you or did you not see that the reason the father is expressing these concerns
pnwmom
Dec 2012
#190
They are not abject failures. They are all employed and none has ever received assistance
pnwmom
Nov 2012
#101
I think he's spot on. Too many "adults" acting like children, and are intentionally
Common Sense Party
Nov 2012
#111
Too many older parents act like 3 yr olds toward their adult children,like Republicans in office now
RepublicansRZombies
Dec 2012
#160
I love the letter too. I got my life in order because I realized I must be disappointing my mother
vaberella
Dec 2012
#135
people see things from their own perspective- they naturally assume that people wouldn't lie
RepublicansRZombies
Dec 2012
#166
His children are all employed, self-supporting, and drug free. His problem is that he's
pnwmom
Nov 2012
#43
What about all the other fathers/mothers who work 60 plus hours to keep the family in a home?
midnight
Nov 2012
#38
It never occurs to this jerk that his friends are telling him what they want him to hear
Fumesucker
Nov 2012
#10
or maybe they are kind to their children and look for the good in them
RepublicansRZombies
Dec 2012
#162
"left her with little self-confidence" = indeed. a steady diet of criticism & nothing being good
HiPointDem
Nov 2012
#20
no amount of psychology, no amount of self reflection can fix this- I am damaged goods
RepublicansRZombies
Dec 2012
#163
He is an ass. He was an absentee father who shipped his kids off to boarding school and didn't
smokey nj
Nov 2012
#22
What shocks me is that it appears from the article that many poeple in the UK
smirkymonkey
Dec 2012
#202
I agree. The oldest one defends him, but notes that he destroyed her self-confidence.
yardwork
Dec 2012
#121
Mostly my family was poor and when we left home they blessed us and prayed they had given us what
libdem4life
Nov 2012
#24
I read elsewhere that they are all employed and self-supporting in middling jobs.
pnwmom
Nov 2012
#48
Yes, all that and. Thank you for all of your posts in this thread. So glad to see most DUers aren't
Dark n Stormy Knight
Dec 2012
#234
The English have such a lovely way of making a point... Hopefully this letter curtails the
midnight
Nov 2012
#36
There is something to be said for speaking your mind in hopes that someone will benefit.
lumberjack_jeff
Nov 2012
#42
What is interesting also, is that apparently the government has paid for his entire life. Pretty
libdem4life
Nov 2012
#53
One of these failures has 3 kids, is married to a surgeon, is translating a book
pnwmom
Nov 2012
#99
I hear a version of this from an elderly couple we know, about their children,
woo me with science
Nov 2012
#96
One of these failures, his oldest daughter, has three kids and is married to a surgeon
pnwmom
Nov 2012
#97
I understand how it is growing up in a family like this and why it breeds underperformance.
smirkymonkey
Dec 2012
#206
I have a college degree and I walk dogs for a living. I don't make much money, but I love my job.
smokey nj
Nov 2012
#102
I suppose they can, but their adult children also can cut them out of their lives.
pnwmom
Nov 2012
#116
they can talk any way they like, but the results may not be to their liking. what is the point
HiPointDem
Dec 2012
#124
one wonders with parents like this- Did they interfere with the marriage?
RepublicansRZombies
Dec 2012
#170
Sounds like his kids are just like HIM. He appears to be doing in his letter what he accuses
Lex
Dec 2012
#125
"Crews, a retired British naval officer" says volumes if you're familiar with the breed.
Egalitarian Thug
Dec 2012
#128
Great letter and thanks for posting. I truly understand the Father's point of view.
vaberella
Dec 2012
#136
When a parent says something like this to you about his children, inquire about facts.
yardwork
Dec 2012
#144
I agree yardwork. I'm amazed at the number of people here who applauded this letter without
smokey nj
Dec 2012
#145
They assumed that the father was describing genuinely "bad" children. They took his word for it.
yardwork
Dec 2012
#148
She's still angry at my parents and I don't blame her. The thing is they're both dead so she
smokey nj
Dec 2012
#153
I don't think so. If that were the case there would be some kind of physical resemblance and
smokey nj
Dec 2012
#154
I'm so sorry for your experience. I was raised in a similar environment and I get it.
smirkymonkey
Dec 2012
#210
They sent their children off to boarding school, which in Britain can be as early as age 8,
pnwmom
Dec 2012
#198
"Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain." - Redd Foxx
Tierra_y_Libertad
Dec 2012
#156
This is the exact mentality we are dealing with in the Republican party
RepublicansRZombies
Dec 2012
#158
It has struck a national nerve- this dad is the perfect example of Republican family values
RepublicansRZombies
Dec 2012
#164
Yes, sort of. She also says that her lack of self-confidence came from the way he treated her
pnwmom
Dec 2012
#182
Is there any chance this dude is a pissed off Republican and his kids are liberals?
RepublicansRZombies
Dec 2012
#168
I get the distinct impression that he's pissed off that his son-in-law is French
yardwork
Dec 2012
#194
hmmm. i would not write that letter since it would reflect on my poor parenting skills
La Lioness Priyanka
Dec 2012
#179
You wouldn't write that letter because you're not a narcissist, unlike that grandiose jerk. nt
pnwmom
Dec 2012
#186
How does your Internet friend know what sort of parent you are, dearie?
oh reiki ur so fine
Dec 2012
#196
Can I post some random letter from a girlfriend in High School and get 200+ replies?
snooper2
Dec 2012
#209
What you're seeing is people in the States using the UK spellings as an affectation.
Ken Burch
Dec 2012
#231
If this is how he communicates, why would he ever have expected that his kids
Ken Burch
Dec 2012
#224