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Leopolds Ghost

(12,875 posts)
Tue Nov 27, 2012, 12:17 AM Nov 2012

People Without Facebook Accounts Are Deemed 'Suspicious' -- Forbes [View all]

[font size="3"]Beware, Tech Abandoners. People Without Facebook Accounts Are 'Suspicious'[/font]

-- Kashmir Hill, Forbes

The sudden and dramatic advent of social-media-enabling technologies into our lives seems to be causing some mid-digital-life crises. Not only has Silicon Valley developed a guilty conscience about addicting us to screens, we the users are starting to question how technology is changing us: making us fat, making us unhealthy, making us depressed, making us lonely... That’s leading some users to consider abandoning the whole enterprise. My colleague Haydn Shaughnessy gave up his smartphone last year. Now, inspired by the example of former Facebooker Katherine Losse, he’s considering giving up Facebook.

I am writing with some words of caution. I used to say that "if you're not on Facebook, it's possible you don't actually exist." I think it’s time to update that, courtesy of Slashdot: Facebook abstainers will be labeled suspicious.

Slashdot flagged a German news story in which an expert noted that mass murderers Anders Breivik and James Holmes both lacked much of a social media presence, leading to the conclusion, in Slashdot’s phrasing, that “not having a Facebook account could be the first sign that you are a mass murderer.”

I’m seeing the suggestion more and more often that a missing Facebook account raises red flags. After a woman found out via Facebook that a man who’d ‘poked’ her in real life had a long term girlfriend, she turned to digital manners advice givers Farhad Manjoo and Emily Yoffe of Slate to ask whether she should tell the girlfriend. They said she should and then went on a digression about transparent romances in the age of Facebook:

Farhad: I think we’ve mentioned it before that if you are going out with someone and they don’t have a Facebook profile, you should be suspicious.

Emily: Wait a minute. You may have mentioned that.

Farhad: I think I’ve recommended that. You know why, though? Imagine if this guy didn’t have a Facebook profile. That’s why. You should be suspicious of someone who is not making your relationship known publicly on a site like Facebook. I’m going to go on record with that.

Emily: I’m fine with people not having a Facebook page if they don’t want one. However, I think you’re right. If you’re of a certain age and you meet someone who you are about to go to bed with, and that person doesn’t have a Facebook page, you may be getting a false name. It could be some kind of red flag.

via Transcript : Facebook stalker - "Should I tell a cheating guy's girlfriend that we hooked up?" -- Slate Magazine

The idea that a Facebook resister is a potential mass murderer, flaky employee, and/or person who struggles with fidelity is obviously flawed. There are people who choose not to be Facebookers for myriad non-psychopathic reasons: because they find it too addictive, or because they hold their privacy dear, or because they don’t actually want to know what their old high school buddies are up to.

Anecdotally, I’ve heard both job seekers and employers wonder aloud about what it means if a job candidate doesn’t have a Facebook account. Does it mean they deactivated it because it was full of red flags? Are they hiding something?

But it does seem that increasingly, it’s expected that everyone is on Facebook in some capacity, and that a negative assumption is starting to arise about those who reject the Big Blue Giant’s siren call. Continuing to navigate life without having this digital form of identification may be like trying to get into a bar without a driver’s license.

“You can’t get away from it. It’s everything. It’s everywhere,” she told the Washington Post. “The moment we’re in now is about trying to deal with all this technology rather than rejecting it, because obviously we can’t reject it entirely.” Well, you can, but it might lead to your being rejected down the line too. **Updated to include some reasons why a person might choose not to be on Facebook, beyond being too busy planning commando attacks.

* Craigslist Ad: 'You're Only Real If You Have A Facebook Account'

* Another update: Haydn responds (and critiques)!

* A follow-up story: You Don't Need A Facebook Account To Be Considered 'Normal' (But It Helps)

* Also, check out the replies...


Milx writes:

It’s very “popular” nowadays to hate Facebook among the counterculture, [font color="green"]counterculture[/font] but just because [font color="green"]your friends[/font] are useless on Facebook doesn’t mean that Facebook is not a big part of peoples’ lives in this day and age, especially among the younger crowd that uses this networking.

-If you want to ask someone out, you can know immediately if they’re already with someone or available using Facebook.

-Many people don’t have time to keep up with many people at once, or have multiple social circles that are all completely disconnected. For example, [font color="green"]I’ve moved 20+ times in my life,[/font] so I have social circles from each of these places I lived and I don’t have time to call each and every one of these people individually to make sure we still have a relationship. However, a relationship is maintained by comments on statuses and by being aware of what’s going on in the others’ life.

-Facebook has become an incredibly easy way to plan events. Free to invite, can easily get the information out about an event you would like people to go to, and instant so you can know who’s coming to your party or other event immediately. It can be used to contact hundreds of people at once. One of my friends just made a status a few days ago about having an extra ticket to a concert, and wanting to go with someone. Without Facebook, she would have had to contact each person she was willing to go with, see if they enjoyed the band, was free, and wanted to hang out. Instead she opened the opportunity to reconnect with old friends that she hadn’t talked to in a while...

[font color="green"]Maybe you’re just too…old for Facebook, honestly.[/font] This is coming from the point of view of a [font color="green"]19 year old college student at a top 20 university,[/font] (and) I recognize that within my age group [font color="green"]Facebook is nearly essential to socializing.[/font] I do know a few people that don’t use Facebook. I also know that [font color="green"]I would like to contact them,[/font] but considering I didn’t assume they don’t use Facebook when I met them I don’t have their phone numbers and [font color="green"]because they reject Facebook I have no way to contact them.[/font] People I would like to see I end up never seeing because they don’t use Facebook. [font color="green"]I also end up having to recount my entire life[/font] every time I see someone who doesn’t use it, [font color="green"]because they don’t see status updates[/font] or changes...

Keep in mind that Facebook is only as good as your friends. If you have crappy friends that only post useless things, then you would have a bad Facebook experience. If you have [font color="green"]higher quality friends[/font] who use Facebook as a social networking tool, then your experience is far improved [font color="green"]and it becomes more essential to your life.[/font]

Norman Jeter replies:

To refer to facebook as an “essential” part of Life is really kind of sad. Yes, it is a large part of many people’s lives. Guess what though, it doesn’t need to be! it wasn’t an “essential” part of anyone’s life pre-myspace, if you wanted to see what your friends were up to, you’d call them up and they’d call up other friends and they would call up others and you would all meet up somewhere and hang out and INTERACT PHYSICALLY with one another.

Also pointing out the fact that you are coming from the point of view of a 19yo is about as pointless as anything. You were born into technology. You are practically Borg. You have no history of life BEFORE the internet. Only Vague memories of phones with cords on them and Cellular phones you could kill a horse with. This is coming from a 35yo Network Administrator, who, btw, does have a facebook page but thinks updating my status every 15minutes is just plain retarded. I have managed to reconnect with a few friends from my past, but mostly I use it for the fact that it has a single signon function for many pages that I visit regularly. I, in fact, have NEVER updated a status on my Facebrik page.. even once.

Simply put, pull your head out of the facebook cloud and actually go an interact with people! “soanso is now doing something retarded!” is not interaction.. Try Shaking someone’s hand, or talking to them without using your thumbs. you may find it pretty rewarding!

Milx replies:

I understand that people drop Facebook for various reasons. What you don’t understand is that that makes no difference to my point whatsoever. It doesn’t make a difference to the point that in my age bracket, using Facebook makes everything a million times easier and more convenient. When people around my age don’t have a Facebook it usually ends up with them becoming more socially isolated, due to all the easy ways to keep in contact through Facebook. Either that, or they’re already socially isolated so see no need for it. I know why the few friends I have that don’t have Facebooks don’t have them, and none of them were citing business practices as their reason... That was the point I was making, that for people around my age, not having Facebook is a serious decision that actually has a lasting effect on your social life.

I’m not speaking for your age bracket, or your social group. I’m speaking for mine, and expressing the flip side of “FACEBOOK IS DUMB EVERYONE ON IT IS STUPID HURR”

schmoe replies:

This is hilarious. I’m in your age bracket and I remember being very young and very fond of computers and especially the internet before it gained critical mass. It was an absolute nightmare trying to convince anyone that this stuff wasn’t “just for nerds”. Things like IRC where you could have actual, immediate conversations were looked at as weird and creepy. People don’t even remember the older social sites like xanga, bolt or friendster. What was popular? Ad plastered AIM and MSN. Same damn thing as ICQ, which they would’ve never touched.

Now the same people that were confused and wary of technology are calling other people creepy for not using the same technologies they once labeled nerdy. I guess this is because of the general culture shift to elevating prepackaged nerdiness as defined by TV shows. Now you can be a nerd too by just pressing big icons on a smartphone. Ain’t life grand?

Some people have moved on, some people want privacy, and some people just don’t give a damn about you waiting in line for a burger.

Lao Tsu writes:

I do believe you’re one of the sanest people, I’ve encountered on the net.

Thank you for seeing this stuff in context of reality, not in context of internet hype.

Leaving FB isn’t a cry for help, it’s a choice to use time better and lose petty schoolyard, drama queens and stalkers.

The funny thing is the increased social acceptability of very creepy behaviour by people and companies on social networks.

Despite all the additional political correctness in the world, the lack of social correctness and sociopathic behaviour of people on the web is amazing….not trolls, ordinary people.

Related:

Facebook, Smart Phones An Unprecedented Tool For Law Enforcement Data Collection

Using Twitter To Help Expose Psychopaths

Is Facebook Making You Lonely?

Facebook Can Tell You If A Person Is Worth Hiring
73 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Talk about your Peer Pressure... NYC_SKP Nov 2012 #1
The real question is: how much like Facebook is DU, message boards, and offline getting? Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #2
I agree with that observation and might, then, recommend... NYC_SKP Nov 2012 #6
Wait now, wut? Well... um... I might be interested... Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #8
Ruck.us Shankapotomus Nov 2012 #22
I disagree with your acquaintance. Quantess Nov 2012 #9
Agree. I don't share my DU handle with friends for that reason(not that they really care). Hassin Bin Sober Nov 2012 #54
"Offline"? Is that the new word for "in real life"? WinkyDink Nov 2012 #26
You mean IRL? Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #56
Must be a campaign to counter all the people leaving Facebook. Lars39 Nov 2012 #3
Well, like AOL wanted Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #5
I, uh, don't know about the particulars... Lars39 Nov 2012 #7
No real particulars :-) Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #13
I did not realize that about AOL. dixiegrrrrl Nov 2012 #31
September 1993 Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #51
Interesting. I have never had a FB account. I assume that the TwilightGardener Nov 2012 #4
I have an account Confusious Nov 2012 #14
Exactly. If I wanted to keep in touch with so-and-so from high school.. X_Digger Nov 2012 #34
Fuck facebook Berserker Nov 2012 #10
That was my first thought reading the OP: FUCK FACEBOOK! eom ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2012 #45
I have a FB account, but I almost never post anything on it. SheilaT Nov 2012 #11
Damn...they found me out. dixiegrrrrl Nov 2012 #12
You're on their list! Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #15
I quit FB in August 2011. Best feeling ever. JaneyVee Nov 2012 #16
why is that? frylock Nov 2012 #47
Meet Ex Facebooker Max Schrems green for victory Nov 2012 #17
I had an account but never used it and forgot the password. I'm just too busy Raine Nov 2012 #18
what's facebook? onethatcares Nov 2012 #19
I have a FB account but; hobbit709 Nov 2012 #20
You use FB exactly like I do. Frank Cannon Nov 2012 #29
Then color me Suspicious kydo Nov 2012 #21
I have always suspected people think i am suspicious... Phentex Nov 2012 #24
Nothing like substituting an electronic page for Skidmore Nov 2012 #23
Frankly, I feel nothing but scornful pity for those who think this way and reject privacy. WinkyDink Nov 2012 #25
I am a profound elite person! FrodosPet Nov 2012 #27
What a curious defensive reaction. JackRiddler Nov 2012 #38
Thank you! Wind Dancer Nov 2012 #59
Then I'm suspicious. pecwae Nov 2012 #28
The simple answer is to open a FB account drm604 Nov 2012 #30
"The simple answer is to open a FB account..." dixiegrrrrl Nov 2012 #32
Sure -- if you consider what amounts to blackmail, "simple." MotherPetrie Nov 2012 #58
I guess I don't exist then ismnotwasm Nov 2012 #33
Myspace is for hipsters Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #50
AYYYYYYYYY! KoKo Nov 2012 #65
Hay KoKo Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #66
Fart noises. Solly Mack Nov 2012 #35
proudly suspicious spanone Nov 2012 #36
This thread has inspired me to write the following song: Art_from_Ark Nov 2012 #37
You must be a member of the 47% that are not on Facebook! Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #62
Farhad Manjoo is *staggeringly* stupid, though. I invite you to read the comment Romulox Nov 2012 #39
Guilty demokatgurrl Nov 2012 #40
Damn... I'm not a member of Facebook. Xyzse Nov 2012 #41
UGH! Odin2005 Nov 2012 #42
I can't be bothered to post snide little comments and brainfarts on facebook. CJCRANE Nov 2012 #43
You know, I think I agree with this. dawg Nov 2012 #44
This is a very long post. reflection Nov 2012 #46
Forbes' business subscribers want to make money off your freely provided information GiaGiovanni Nov 2012 #48
I Adblocked FB icons and added facebook to my Windows hosts file IDemo Nov 2012 #49
I had a Facebook account for about three years, but shut it down recently.... OldDem2012 Nov 2012 #52
just for this, I'm closing my FB account. lastlib Nov 2012 #53
My neighbor rents her condo out short-term via a bed and breakfast website called Air B&B. Hassin Bin Sober Nov 2012 #55
At least she hates Bears. Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #61
I suppose the fear is someone who wants to rent from you just so... Hassin Bin Sober Nov 2012 #63
One should be able to rent out condos in my opinion Leopolds Ghost Nov 2012 #67
We allow renters. Hassin Bin Sober Nov 2012 #69
The tyranny of FB. FUCK Facebook. I'll never use it. MotherPetrie Nov 2012 #57
Sorry, I don't do Facepalm..... left on green only Nov 2012 #60
Some of This....Some of That.....Re: "Facebook" KoKo Nov 2012 #64
Facebook CIA Project Zorra Nov 2012 #68
Has anyone checked out the FB alternatives? IDemo Nov 2012 #70
FB can take a flying leap shanti Nov 2012 #71
also, people who don't wear Nike shoes Enrique Nov 2012 #72
Mr. Farhad...if I was on Facebook and you asked to friend me and I turned you down... Tikki Nov 2012 #73
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